Megson
February 2nd, 2012, 07:04 PM
I have good days and I have bad days. Lately, it seems that more and more of them are becoming bad days.
High school is torture to me. I'm in 10th grade and I'm trying so hard to get good grades so I can get into the National Honors Society next year. In order to do that, I'll need to get all A's this semester, and I don't feel like I can do it. I'll be the only one of my friends who won't get in...
Speech class started, and I get terrible anxiety when I have to speak in front of people. Unfortunately, its a required class for Sophomores and I have to take it.
I've found myself crushing on a friend of mine who happens to be a girl. And I'm a girl, if you haven't noticed. The dilema there should be obvious.
I feel constantly lonely. I feel like no one cares about me. I have very few friends who aren't even really all that close to me and never think twice when I'm not there. I feel like I could die tomorrow and they would never notice that I wasn't there with them.
Speaking of death, its been on my mind way too much lately. I'm not suicidal, but I keep thinking of it. I see a river, and I wonder how it feels to drown. I see a tree and wonder if it hurts very badly to be hanged. In the back of my mind, I'm constantly wondering if my friends would care if I killed myself. Would they blame me? Would they miss me being there? Would they cry?
I'm sorry for the long post. I needed to get it out, since I can't tell anyone else these things... If you read the whole thing, thank you.
I could use some advice or support or something...
High school is torture to me. I'm in 10th grade and I'm trying so hard to get good grades so I can get into the National Honors Society next year. In order to do that, I'll need to get all A's this semester, and I don't feel like I can do it. I'll be the only one of my friends who won't get in...
Speech class started, and I get terrible anxiety when I have to speak in front of people. Unfortunately, its a required class for Sophomores and I have to take it.
I've found myself crushing on a friend of mine who happens to be a girl. And I'm a girl, if you haven't noticed. The dilema there should be obvious.
I feel constantly lonely. I feel like no one cares about me. I have very few friends who aren't even really all that close to me and never think twice when I'm not there. I feel like I could die tomorrow and they would never notice that I wasn't there with them.
Speaking of death, its been on my mind way too much lately. I'm not suicidal, but I keep thinking of it. I see a river, and I wonder how it feels to drown. I see a tree and wonder if it hurts very badly to be hanged. In the back of my mind, I'm constantly wondering if my friends would care if I killed myself. Would they blame me? Would they miss me being there? Would they cry?
I'm sorry for the long post. I needed to get it out, since I can't tell anyone else these things... If you read the whole thing, thank you.
I could use some advice or support or something...