Harming other people.

[Daracon]

Sometimes I get these urges to kill or hurt other people. When I think about it I feel a rush that feels similar to riding a roller coaster like
an intense short term rush. I am worried that I might do it one day do it out if curiosity. I most likely won't but I hope the urges don't escalate. I think that I would want to do it because it makes me feel a sense of power over that person. I am going to see a councilor soon
but any advice to what I could do to fight these urges and if I have a mental illness.

[Moxie]

Sometimes I get these urges to kill or hurt other people. When I think about it I feel a rush that feels similar to riding a roller coaster like
an intense short term rush. I am worried that I might do it one day do it out if curiosity. I most likely won't but I hope the urges don't escalate. I think that I would want to do it because it makes me feel a sense of power over that person. I am going to see a councilor soon
but any advice to what I could do to fight these urges and if I have a mental illness.

I feel the same way. While I certainly can't diagnose you, I can tell you that you should consider going to anger management classes if you truly think you might hurt someone. It would end in your demise - society would shun you, and you may very well go to jail.

Have you suffered trauma of any sort, or have you felt like this your whole life?

I wouldn't say you are a psychopath or anything like that, because such a person wouldn't be worried. However, there are various personality disorders that one can develop early (teenage years or before) in life due to traumatic events of any sort.

To what extent have your desires gone to? Do you just want to hurt people who deserve it, or do you fantasize about hurting/killing the innocent?

[Daracon]

Well I haven't really experienced any major trauma except almost falling off a cliff and dying as a child and my Dad helped me up. And recent trauma would be my baby sister dying (stillborn) but the weird thing is, is that I didn't feel anything, I didn't cry and I never have, I almost didn't care. I only feel sad because my Mother is. I always never liked people and felt different from society, I always wanted to hurt the people who bullied me but never kill them. My desires haven't really escalated, I just have fantasies (which I won't describe on the site due to a lot of graphic content). And to answer the last question I really only want to kill people who deserve it, I feel pleasure to know that I am taking a burden to society out of this world.

[Moxie]

Well I haven't really experienced any major trauma except almost falling off a cliff and dying as a child and my Dad helped me up. And recent trauma would be my baby sister dying (stillborn) but the weird thing is, is that I didn't feel anything, I didn't cry and I never have, I almost didn't care. I only feel sad because my Mother is. I always never liked people and felt different from society, I always wanted to hurt the people who bullied me but never kill them. My desires haven't really escalated, I just have fantasies (which I won't describe on the site due to a lot of graphic content). And to answer the last question I really only want to kill people who deserve it, I feel pleasure to know that I am taking a burden to society out of this world.

Interesting. You could look into personality disorders I suppose, as those can appear later in life (rather than being born with one).

Fantasies of hurting people? I can see why you can't describe such things on here, and I'm pretty sure I know what you mean. However, I'd be interested to hear what you *feel* when you have said fantasies. Do you feel a sort of adrenaline rush when you imagine harming others, or is it more of a fulfilled lust-type pleasure? There are many things that attributes satisfaction of either sort to causing others pain - there's sadistic personality disorder (not to be confused with the BDSM preference), antisocial personality disorder (which I myself "suffer" from), and even narcissistic personality disorder (though that one's more of a desire for power due to exceptional vanity, and wouldn't really relate to satisfaction from causing pain as far as I know).

If you considered sociopathy or psychopathy, you should know that both of those are subcategories of ASPD. However, they also have many other characteristics attributed to them, and one of these characteristics is a lack of caring. If you are at all worried about these feelings, I doubt that you fall into either of those categories.

[Rage of the Menace]

Interesting. You could look into personality disorders I suppose, as those can appear later in life (rather than being born with one).

Fantasies of hurting people? I can see why you can't describe such things on here, and I'm pretty sure I know what you mean. However, I'd be interested to hear what you *feel* when you have said fantasies. Do you feel a sort of adrenaline rush when you imagine harming others, or is it more of a fulfilled lust-type pleasure? There are many things that attributes satisfaction of either sort to causing others pain - there's sadistic personality disorder (not to be confused with the BDSM preference), antisocial personality disorder (which I myself "suffer" from), and even narcissistic personality disorder (though that one's more of a desire for power due to exceptional vanity, and wouldn't really relate to satisfaction from causing pain as far as I know)

I'm pretty sure i'm an aggressive narcissist and i do have dreams and fantasies of killing and dismembering loved ones, including my mother, girlfriend, father, sister, cousins.

I'm also very paranoid about things, especially my social life... what does this mean? Please help :S

[antiabort]

It could just be you being a teenager. I get the same way sometimes, and my mother told me that when she was my age she planned how to kill her father and kids at her school, she never did it though. I wouldn't worry too much about this. I'm pretty sure everyone gets urges like that. If you really feel like you'll kill someone, call the cops on yourself.

edit: you probably didn't feel sad about your sister because you never got to know her.

[Rage of the Menace]

It could just be you being a teenager. I get the same way sometimes, and my mother told me that when she was my age she planned how to kill her father and kids at her school, she never did it though. I wouldn't worry too much about this. I'm pretty sure everyone gets urges like that. If you really feel like you'll kill someone, call the cops on yourself.

edit: you probably didn't feel sad about your sister because you never got to know her.

i wish it was the case, but i've always been like this, i remember dreaming about very similar things when i was MUCH younger, and what i can remember of my childhood is always dull and disturbing.

[Mortal Coil]

It could potentially be the hormonal changes/puberty: more testosterone--> more aggressive ---> these fantasies.
As long as you don't act on them or think you're genuinely likely to do so, you're ok. Also the fact that you can approach this logically and are at least slightly worried shows that you're not crazy :)

[bigjohnson]

I would see a doctor i have never heard of this before

[PyChE36]

Key symptoms of a Psychopath/Sociopath:

1. Glib and superficial
2. Egocentric and grandiose
3. Lack of remorse or guilt
4. Lack of empathy
5. Deceitful and manipulative
6. Shallow emotions

Psychopaths can be very effective in presenting themselves well and are often very likable and charming. To some people, however, they seem too slick and smooth, too obviously insincere and superficial. Astute observers often get the impression that psychopaths are play-acting, mechanically, "reading their lines".
Sociopaths are very egocentric individuals that lack a sense of personal responsibility and morality. They may be impulsive, manipulative, reckless, quarrelsome, and consistent liars.

The sociopath may be an excellent actor, always appearing charming, calm, and collected. They usually have a normal or above normal intelligence level and good verbal fluency. It is these qualities that sometimes place the sociopath in leadership positions within their social groups and often make it hard to spot their "black side".


Psychopaths can be very sociable, even though they are antisocial behind their "mask" in the sense that their "emotions" are completely fake. They are masters at manipulating others for their personal gain. Their charm, in fact, is legendary.
Psychopaths are experts at using people. They can ask anything of anyone without embarrassment and because of their outgoing seducing friendliness, their use of "poor innocent me! I am such a GOOD person and I have been treated so BADLY!" the victim invariably gets sucked into giving the psychopath what they ask for - no matter how outrageous.

Psychopaths are masters at faking emotions in order to manipulate others. One psychologist reported that if you actually catch them in the act of committing a crime, or telling a lie, "they will immediately justify their actions by self pity and blaming another, by creating a heart-rending scene of faked emotional feelings." These fake emotions are only for effect, as the careful observer will note. The Psychopath considers getting their way or getting out of trouble using faked emotions as a victory over another person.

Psychopaths are incapable of feeling concern or remorse for the consequences of their actions. They can calmly rationalize their insensitive and bizarre behavior all the while attributing malice to everyone but themselves. When caught in a lie, they will manipulate others or stories to their own advantage without any fear of being found out - even if it is obvious to everyone around them that they WILL be found out.

Psychopaths cannot feel fear for themselves, much less empathy for others. Most normal people, when they are about to do something dangerous, illegal, or immoral, feel a rush of worry, nervousness, or fear. Guilt may overwhelm them and prevent them from even committing the deed. The psychopath feels little or nothing.

The psychopath seems to be full of something akin to deep greed. They manifest this inner state in many ways. One of the most common ways is to steal something of value to their victim (valuables), or to hurt/slander the victim or something or someone the victim loves. In the psychopath's mind, this is justified because the victim crossed him, did not give him what he wanted, or rejected him (or her).

Psychopaths lie for the sake of lying. They can convey the deepest heart-felt message without meaning a word of it. They can also tell the most outrageous stories simply in order to be at the center of attention and to get what they want.

The psychopath is obsessed with control even if they give the impression of being helpless. Their pretense to emotional sensitivity is really part of their control function: The higher the level of belief in the psychopath that can be induced in their victim through their dramas, the more "control" the psychopath believes they have. And in fact, this is true. They DO have control when others believe their lies. Sadly, the degree of belief, the degree of "submission" to this control via false representation, generally produces so much pain when the truth is glimpsed that the victim would prefer to continue in the lie than face the fact that they have been duped. The psychopath counts on this. It is part of their "actuarial calculations." It gives them a feeling of power.

It is all too easy to fall under the spell of the charismatic psychopath. There are many who do the psychopath's bidding without realizing that they have been subtly and cleverly controlled. They can even be manipulated to perform criminal acts, or acts of sabotage against another - innocent - person on behalf of the psychopath. Very often, when this is realized by the victim, that they have caused suffering in innocent people at the behest of a liar, again they prefer to deny this than to face up to the truth of their own perfidy and gullibility.

from "A Natural State of Pschopathy", by Laura Knight-Jadzyk

Hope this helps.

[Ambrosia]

Please do not bump old threads! :locked: