Does anyone here genuinely hate one of their family members? [Archive]

Weeping_Angel

January 31st, 2012, 07:54 AM

I genuinely hate my little sis. She is seven, and you think that I wouldn't take her crap seriously anymore. Well, I didn't, until she started cursing me out in public, she ruins my things, and she always 'borrows' things with out asking.

I sometimes look at myself in the mirror, and she comes up to me saying that I am so fat and she is so skinny. Nwhen in reality, when I was her age, I weighed 50 pounds, not 75 like she does. I have no clue why she bothers me so much. I guess it's because I never really liked her that much, ever since she ruined my whole wardrobe,of all the expensive clothes I had accumulated over the past couple of years. I guess we never had the same relationship.

My mom is single, and it is hard for her to control my sister, but me and my brother,he is one year older than me, get along pretty nicely, so that is nice.

botwa

January 31st, 2012, 07:56 AM

I don't love my parents as they hmm made me and then left for my grandparents to raise me.
So why should I love them?
I do love my grandparents though. they are really great

Triceratops

January 31st, 2012, 08:47 AM

I haven't got any family members who I hate, but I have many that I really dislike lol.

Love.Hate

January 31st, 2012, 12:58 PM

I hate the way they behave a lot, but don't hate them. Just dislike.

beebs

January 31st, 2012, 01:28 PM

I do, I hate that I do, but I cant help it.

Its my uncle, hes an alcoholic, everytime i see him he emotionally abuses me, my nan, my mum, and his own kids. He gave my dad a black eye, the day before he married my mum, he gave my mum shit in a box for her wedding present.

I hate him. So much.

Mutibann

January 31st, 2012, 01:46 PM

I hate my grandmother. She's an evil bitch.

sammy1996

January 31st, 2012, 03:14 PM

LilTurtle

January 31st, 2012, 03:54 PM

Well I have to say that my brother josh actually hates me. Sometimes I wonder if its me that causes him to hate me so. But I lived with this it seems like forever. But everyone has their own monsters they have to deal with.

Djentleman

January 31st, 2012, 07:33 PM

I Genuinly hate one of my brothers, all the shit hes put my family through, bringing his drug dealing troubles to my house. even stealing from us and beating up my mum. And the worse part is that he STILL LIVES WITH US WHEN HES 29. such a sad fuck waste of space that somehow my mum cares about. every time he gets let out of prison he comes back and i have to agree with my mum that hes "changed" bull shit, i wish him dead.

I think that's a genuine reason to probably hate him. Best reason anyone on here is going to have.

I don't hate anyone, but some of my family do definitely get on my wrong side. My dads definitely the biggest pain in the ass at the best of times, but not that I hate him. I also have my cousins husband who constantly calls me a homophobic slur when I talk to him.

Other than that, I don't see the other annoyances enough to even get on my grate even a little.

ShatteredWings

January 31st, 2012, 09:48 PM

Yes.
Blood means nothing. The majority of my family are abusive dicks, I want out asap.
i hate my 'father' most.

Auzzie 94

February 1st, 2012, 10:00 AM

I hate on of my uncles to death! I can't explain why it is a REALLY complicated story. But trust me I have a really valid reason to hate him for all he has put my family through.

Kdude146

February 1st, 2012, 06:45 PM

I would say I don't hate anyone in my family but there are some family members I can't stand to be around

Syvelocin

February 1st, 2012, 09:57 PM

Ehm. I hate "the baptists." Actually, everyone in the family hates them. Especially his kids. I have an uncle who married again after divorcing the mother of his children. Chose this girl he met from Florida. American football-loving, southern-talking, evangelistic baptist, Martha. She turned him baptist too. I can say that I do truthfully hate Martha. The worrying and praying for my soul (take note, she thinks I'm CATHOLIC) that she tells me about every time I see her aside, she creeps me out. For some reason. It might have been that one Christmas that the two of them got drunk on the front porch and... err.

Every time I ask this, I get bombarded with a wave of "you can NEVER hate your FAMILY, though!" commentaries.

I think distant family you could definitely have pure hatred though, I think parents are a bit harder. I think if you do hate them it's still very complicated. But I definitely don't agree with the "you have to love them because they're your family" concept. Just because they're family they don't automatically deserve your love and respect.

Stronger

February 1st, 2012, 10:35 PM

Maybe not hate but I strongly dislike my cousin that is my age, I just don't like my uncles kids period, but I have a strong dislike for him, Why? I think hes cocky and I can't stand it, I get no respect from him, I dread everytime we go to his house, I just don't love him like family, probably will never.

fire and water

February 2nd, 2012, 12:25 PM

I'm sorry, i'm going to join the bombarding crew. I could never hate my family, no matter what they do. Hate's a strong word.

Syvelocin

February 2nd, 2012, 08:05 PM

I'm sorry, i'm going to join the bombarding crew. I could never hate my family, no matter what they do. Hate's a strong word.

Even if you were physically/sexually abused by them? That or a parent who abandoned the other and had to raise the kid by themselves without child support are the typical situations I see when someone truly hates a parent.

mase

February 4th, 2012, 10:08 PM

I don't feel accepted. I feel as if i'm just their. I'm not truly apart of the family.

Wow i thought i was the only one like this i know exactly how you feel, im close to Two of my cousins but when ever i visit family at christmas, i feel like they think " aah its him" and im just part of the background

OT yes there is One of my uncle's hes adopted and a year younger than me, weird right? any way i don't have an issue with him being adopted, he's just so gormless and think he's a hard man, he needs a smack

fire and water

February 5th, 2012, 12:11 PM

Even if you were physically/sexually abused by them? That or a parent who abandoned the other and had to raise the kid by themselves without child support are the typical situations I see when someone truly hates a parent.

I'm talking about my own situation, not any one elses. I can fully understand why people hate there parents, hell, i hate my best friends parents for they do to her. I'm saying i could never hate my own parents, no matter that shit they do.

Shamwow_Me

February 5th, 2012, 03:09 PM

Well i wont say that i hate anyone cuzz thats a strong word.
But i will say that on days like today i hate the things my mom does to me.
Somtimes i feel like she try's her hardest to break me down and make me feel usless.
But do i hate her for it ? No.
That's just who she is i cant help that.

cheldy

February 6th, 2012, 02:31 PM

I hate the kind of persons my parents are, now that I've grown old enough and can understand both of them.
They act very fake when in public, and talk about their family as though we were perfect. Then it's back at home and the fights start again.
What I hate most is them trying to make me achieve what they tried to but didn't.

Anyway, I think it's normal for most of us to hate our parents. When we're small, it's the instinct that keeps us close and bonded to them (otherwise we'd starve!), and it's in those years that they make the mistake of thinking we love them. It's not real love, it's attachment, and none of them get it.
When you grow up you get to see the kind of people they are and get to decide if you like them or not as persons. I don't think any parent would have to be surprised if they found out their kid hates them.

Dimitri

February 6th, 2012, 02:39 PM

No, I do not hate MY family or the members with the exception of my Aunt, what a bitch, she says I can't become a doctor because I am not smart enough. Well fuck you too dear, I will map fit into Harvard so I can shove it up your tight ass along with the four or five rides you have up there and maybe a shoe to go with it.

As for hating i hate the way my boyfriend's brother treats him, the kid needs some serious anti-psychoatic medications in his system, he better watch out, he is an adult now I am can beat his ass, my dad is sheriff, and I WILL get away with shit....

WritingAuthor

February 7th, 2012, 06:08 AM

Everyone seems to be talking about people in there household but, I would have to say I hate my cousin (She is 38) and wasn't the best you could say and didnt supply her children well not at all and was given three clear warnings to clean up her act or her children will be sent to a foster home and she took it as a joke and didnt care so they got taken away and now she has the chance to change things but she is worse then ever and she will always sob about being so lonely but she got married and is pregnate and what makes me hate her so much is she talks shit about my mum and treats me like her child but, my uncle applyed to have them and he got them so I still see her children (There my age) so thats nice :)

Princess Ariel

February 7th, 2012, 07:31 AM

I wouldn't say I hate, more or less dislike.
Hate's a strong word, and it's one that gets thrown around quite a bit.

Golden Terror

February 7th, 2012, 07:50 AM

i do too. my mom sabotaged my relationship with my bf!!!! screw her!

Desuetude

February 7th, 2012, 04:34 PM

I wouldn't say hate but for a while I have very strongly disliked my whole family. I can't seem to connect with any of them and they just annoy and frustrate me.
I find people I CAN connect to and understand me on vt and they threaten to block me from going on the one website that one day could be the solution to all my problems.
I mean WTF. Urgh, I also hate that there is no reason that I should hate them unlike everyone else who hasone I just really resent them.
Ha how pathetic am I!

WritingAuthor

February 9th, 2012, 03:14 AM

Hare might have been over it but I guess it would be more like a dislike.

Inspiration

February 9th, 2012, 04:07 AM

Ah let it begin...

I lived with my Grandparents and my Grand Grandfather all in one house for about eight years or so. My father starts coming around and my Grandmother can't handle him so she started drinking as an outlet, it got so bad that we had to put her into rehabilitation, she left after a year or so and then she relapsed. After that she went back in and stayed in. My grandfather couldn't handle taking care of everything so he called my Uncle and his Wife over to pick up my Great Grandfather for a "Week". They then made him sign wavers saying that he wanted to "Sell" the house. They also towed my Grandfathers truck half way across the state to their house. We had to go up there and get it, it was what? a 6-8 hour trip there and back combined. So I started missing days from Catholic School because Stress was taking me over. We talked to my Grandfather and when we asked him about moving he replied with. "Who said you had to move?!". She even had to the nerve to say that my grand mother was the one putting us out. That snapped my grandfather he cussed her out so much that she filed a restraining order.

We moved to the crappiest Neighborhood in one of the hottest area's in California. The school was awful, matter-o-fact the school actually closed down this year it was so bad. My Grandmother finally moved in with us and I was stuck with surviving the school year. My uncle then began to start telling stories and the family started to slowly hate us. My Grandfather died in the hospital and I had a dream that night of a ghost coming into my dream. It took three hours to get to the hospital and back. He died say around 2:00AM I woke up from the dream at 5:13AM. I didn't know about his death until the morning, I told my parents about the dream. I was scared shitless from there on out. Anyway after my teachers tried to fail me I still passed into the 6th grade. We moved to a better Neighborhood where we have the cheapest toilet in the world! All and all I can only trust a few people in my family now, and thats my story...Of course there were more bits and pieces that I left out for the sake of this not being 10 paragraphs!

So yeah, all in all I hate ALOT of my family. But hey God/Karma/Ect Whatever your belief is...You always gotta pay the Piper...

Amaryllis

February 9th, 2012, 04:22 AM

Oh mmmmm... My father. I don't even like calling him that. But man do I hate him. My nightmares are when I try to kill him but he doesn't react, just sits there like a statue.

My old counsellor said it was fear disguised as hate and I suppose it is, though I really do hate to admit it. Either way, I'd torture him if there were no consequences.

Nocturnal_Insomniac

February 19th, 2012, 08:43 AM

i think that the only member of my real family i actually get along with is my Aunt, most, if not all of the other members range from "you annoy me" to "i hate your guts and i want to kill you". when you consider the fact that my parents are never refered to with affection, my mother is a cheapskate bitch of a hypocritical lier who prefers the company of a dog to that of her children, and my father is a meek man who cant even tell is wife to stop "smacking her kids" - read hitting them until their arse has bruises in the shape of handprints - or calling them stupid, fucking, idiotic, lazy bastards who cant do anything right. i've basically replaced my entire immediate family with that of my best friend. her mother is ma, her father is papa or dad, her brother is my "soul/bond brother" and she and i have complete a bond in which we traded blodd, i think it's safe to day that i hate alot of my family. if you want to know what i mean by the bond or soul/bond brother, pm me and i'll explain or look at my entry in the introduction area - first thread, last page.

FutureAFofficer

February 20th, 2012, 01:06 AM

I have little family members to hate, The family members i love the most aren't even related by blood, infact hes my moms roomate that is kinda like a dad he teaches me the valuable lessons in life when no one can.

KidImage

February 20th, 2012, 01:14 AM

I dislike half of my cousins. They think they are the shit (typical Colombians) I have fought like five of them. They all gang up on me cause I'm the only one that does good in life.

project_icarus

February 20th, 2012, 01:22 AM

I hate what my dad's done, and I absolutely HATE my step mum. If this counts.
I don't really dislike my cousins and extended family. I just wish we could get along better. Last year when I went over with my sister to visit, my younger cousin (about 7y/o) actually, sincerely forgot our names.

KidImage

February 20th, 2012, 01:33 AM

Ehh happens to me too they "forget" when we live in the same place. I love my brothers tho because we have this anger thing, my lil bro will get in someones face, I I spazz out and my older bro will knock someone out. We get it from our mom.

nicnicolas1

February 21st, 2012, 06:48 PM

i 100% agree with you and i used to say the same thing to people about how they could hate on their family, my i really do hate both of my brothers, they've moved out now but their awful people just plain mean and stupid i hate them tnothing good to say about either one

Yehudis13

February 21st, 2012, 06:56 PM

I hate my grandfather. He abused my mother to a point where she ran away from home with my uncle, and she made sown horrible choices. She married an abusive man, who abused me and my brother until I was about 11, and then he left us, leaving everything but the bank account behind. My mother at that point was a few months pregnant with a baby, but she drank all the time to ease her pain, that the baby died, which caused a lot of grief. And all of this roots from my grandfathers stems.

Black.Veil.Brides

February 21st, 2012, 06:58 PM

yes i do and that person is my mom

Imaussie

March 15th, 2012, 02:50 AM

I don't truly hate my family but my mum does not except my life choices and says she will never support me if I do so. My relationship is breaking down bit by bit and I'm trying hard to keep it!. She truly is down to earth what she says and is very bold.my cousin is an ANZAC and he is very close to me he said "don't bother listening to it and chose what you want to do with your life and don't let anyone else make your mind for you."

green

March 15th, 2012, 05:58 AM

I hate my sister. She is the epitomey of the word whore. I feel like a bastard in my family. My mum has lots of problems with me but says she loves me, my dad almost doesnt talk to me as a father should, and my sister is a scheming, whoring, bitch who takes anything i do to my mum and tatles about me. If only she knew the things i know about her. The drinking, the whoring, the fights. I truely believe that the day i finish school i will be out of here.

Erasmus

March 15th, 2012, 12:58 PM

no, i don't, but i can see why someone would

Sonic Boom

March 15th, 2012, 01:38 PM

Negative, I'm fortunate enough to have a lovely family. We have our ups and downs tho but that's normal.

Jamie_

March 15th, 2012, 07:48 PM

myself since because of me i cant live with parents now. on the other end i love my little brother and do live with him.

Jmihas

March 17th, 2012, 04:41 PM

Uhmm.. tee-hee.. I dunno what to say but I've been through to a lot of what all of you been.. I understand how you do feel, my life is more tougher than of all that. Defiently tougher.

Philleeep

March 17th, 2012, 04:46 PM

I hate my Auntie Jenifer because shes the cause of my dads disjointed family. Shes caused problems since the day my mum and dad got married, shes made my dads parents (who are both divorced and remarried) turn against him and other members of the family, its caused my grandparents to treat me different because of them and I get emotional black mail from my aunt via facebook

1_21Guns

March 17th, 2012, 04:57 PM

Yes, the hate I have for my father is unlike any form of hate I have for any other human being.

Straight

March 17th, 2012, 04:57 PM

my sister is a bitch. want me to elaborate? a bitchy whore.

Silver Teardrops

March 17th, 2012, 06:13 PM

I don't like to say it, but yes I do. I hate my brother. He is a few years older than me, and he has gone to jail twice already. He smokes, and is on drugs. My mother kicked him out last year, but he still has the house key, and he sneaks in the house at the night to steal food. He tries to contact me to let him in the house when people are in the house, and he has sex for money so he can pay for his drugs. I am mortified mpby him.

Wonton

March 18th, 2012, 01:34 AM

I don't really 'hate' anybody in my family but my mom constantly gets on my negative side and it pisses me the FUCK off! She's always going on about how it's 'hard' and 'frusturating' for her every single day and goes 'hun, it's frusturating' when i mess something up because Of my ADHD. She has no idea how many times i've tried to kill myself now because of her, and then she switches back. She constantly badmouths my dad, tells me not to hate him, and then asks me what I think of him expecting a bad answer and then wonders why I have had issues getting along with him for two years. i wish she would just stop going on about how 'tough' for her it is, I know that it's difficult for her taking care of me for the whole school week but she says it every goddamn day in a way so only I feel guilty. I try my best but I mess up things and get distracted with my ADHD, and she sometimes goes 'WINSTON, IM AT MY WITS END RIGHT NOW!!' If I mess up too much and piss her off. Next time I'm just going to either walk out of the house and not be a burden to her or slit my fucking wrists and lie on her bed and wait for her to walk in.

On the other hand, that is about 30-40% of my relationship with my mom, its quite two sided. i get along with her relatively well but sometimes she just puts me down like hell.

Jupiter

March 18th, 2012, 02:11 AM

I hate the way they behave a lot, but don't hate them. Just dislike.

this.

Electra Heart

March 18th, 2012, 02:49 AM

I hate my father, perhaps more than I hate anyone else, and his whole fucking family.

User Deleted

March 18th, 2012, 02:52 AM

gvdf5n-zI14

I have a little cousin who is annoying, but eh, I was worse. I was a demon child.

Shortie

March 18th, 2012, 04:32 AM

Yes, the hate I have for my father is unlike any form of hate I have for any other human being.

I have the same hatred for mine, haven't seen him in years and never want to again.

WoShiDavid95

March 18th, 2012, 06:24 AM

Nah, they are normal, nothing to hate about. Besides, it takes way too much effort to hate, if someone antagonizes you indifference is the best response.

depressedinsanity

March 18th, 2012, 01:45 PM

I hate my sister she never shuts up expects everything in life to be handed to her and wants everything one the face of the earth and has no consideration on what all her wants are doing to our family if it would ever come yo me whether she lives or dies ill choose the most painful death imaginable

Breakeven

March 18th, 2012, 01:58 PM

yea sure , personal reasons

Dimentio

March 18th, 2012, 05:27 PM

Yes quite a lot really but to name the two worst ones, My aunt and uncle, Their brother and sister not the dating type aunt and uncle, One is a druggie, Drinks and smokes, The other has bad attitude problems and both tried murdering me, So you can hate family and well, It is a big thing for me to do that ha ha.

WickedWeekend

March 18th, 2012, 10:59 PM

I genuinely despise my grandpa, basically because he's an ass who doesn't care what anyone else thinks. Everyone else in the family hates him.

canadaski

March 20th, 2012, 05:41 PM

Yep, I hate my mom. Nothing I can do about it, it's just the way she is. She's cold, miserable, backstabbing, manipulative and a thousand other things.

BassSwagg

March 20th, 2012, 06:09 PM

I hate my littlest brother hunter because hes a horibal person. hes rude, he beats me, he talks down to me, he abuses my dog, hes ungrateful to our mom whos a single parent and works her ass off to give us everything we need/want and its never enough for him. he treats us like me and my mom were put on this plannet to cook for him and clean up after him and drive him wherever he wants to go.

Nellerin

March 20th, 2012, 06:22 PM

I don't hate anyone even if sometimes I'm fairly close to it. Because it takes way too much energy to hate people.

kai99

March 22nd, 2012, 12:59 PM

Yes, my cousin

ImCoolBeans

March 22nd, 2012, 05:18 PM

I honestly think I could say so.

Roses_Are_Yellow

March 23rd, 2012, 06:48 PM

My grandmothers an evil bitch. I found out she used to abuse my mom as a child, which explains why my mother's so messed up. What type of messed up person ties their 8 year old daughter in a chair and beats them?I guess I never really liked her even before I found this out. She always freaked me out, and when I was little she pulled my by the ear to get my attention. :/ My poor grandpa he's scared to death of his own wife, and the daughter they created together is a wack job, and has even caused him a heart attack. :/

Weber_Swagg

March 26th, 2012, 09:54 PM

I don't think you can most of the time. Especially if they are a child. If they are then give them time to grow and they will change (hopefully). I think that you can't really hate a person only what they do. People change all the time so unless you close your mind, you can't really hate anyone.

DarkNick

March 31st, 2012, 03:09 AM

Yes, I do.
I hate my father most of the time (I feel sorry for feeling and saying that,like I'm sinful etc.).It's sad,it really is but because of him I'm sitting in my room alone,crying silently cause he yells when he hears me crying,from the time that I remember myself.
He was-is abusing me most of the time, saying that I'm a little selfish bastard.He was never there for me and only talks to me when he needs my help.When I was younger he could only show me his love just by buying me things...He never kissed me,hugged me or said anything happy to me,not even an advice.I remember the day that I annoynced that I had my first crush.He was yelling me that what I was feeling was non sense and that I should immidietaly call the girl that I was in love with and tell her that I don't love her anymore(yeah I had told her and I let him knew,-.-) just because he didn't want to get into ''troubles''...He's such a shallow and emotionless person,full of misery. Hopefully I won't become like him....

FullyAlive

March 31st, 2012, 04:47 AM

yes, my aunt. She's married to my dads oldest brother we aren't a close family so I don't see her often. But I'll never forget how once I had to be introduced to her, I was in my teens not a baby agreed seen me a lot before yet still I had to be introduced. Apparently when I was younger she phoned up on my birthday and invited us to her grandsons party, this would have been ok had it not been for the fact she hadn't realised it was our birthday that day so my dad got angry :P. Aside from that I just don't like her my and my cousin agree that if you're a female relation you just aren't good enough for her.

aaayyoo_avery

June 26th, 2012, 06:41 PM

My "father"

RedViper

June 26th, 2012, 07:48 PM

I have a few family members that i love, but i just can't stand to be around them. I love them but i don't like them.

Montesquieu15

June 26th, 2012, 08:38 PM

I do, but I know I shouldn't.

I know my "problems" aren't even half as bad as other people, but I can't help it. Currently, I'm looking for a way out.

dontfiguremeout

June 26th, 2012, 10:23 PM

Me and my sister use to not get a long at all, but now we are growing up, into high school, (she's entering high school next year) I need to be there for her when she is there and beyond. So we are slowly trying to create a better brother sister relationship.

CalebAustin

June 26th, 2012, 10:41 PM

No I dont hate them, im just rather annoyed by them all the time.

Guillermo

June 26th, 2012, 11:17 PM

Nahhh... Strongly dislike some of them? Yeah, I'd say so.

Abyssal Echo

June 26th, 2012, 11:27 PM

how many or which ones do you wanna know about ????

there really aint enough room here to post them all :D

Rubik

June 27th, 2012, 03:52 AM

I could hate my siblings/parents more but I couldn't love them less.

georgiaboy123

June 28th, 2012, 12:27 AM

I hate my mom, she ditched me and then got a complete dickwad boyfriend, then made me move in with her. I got the hell outta there though. I don't even miss her or think about her anymore.

LiamC

June 28th, 2012, 02:31 PM

My dad, not seen him for 8 years or so now and I wouldn't want to even if I could.

karl

June 28th, 2012, 02:35 PM

My father treated me badly when he was alive, so I think I should have hated him. I didn't, and when he commited suicide earlier this year I was really sorry. I blamed myself.

xXJust Jump ItXx

July 4th, 2012, 08:50 AM

Not anyone in my family, i hate my girlfriends dad, she hates him too. Really if you left me in a room with him alone id kick his arse... really i got issues with him and what he did to her. Then my ex step mom i cant stand, okay she tried to burn a cops house down! NOT COOL! Then shes always been wicked mean.

OrKing

July 4th, 2012, 01:13 PM

I don't 'hate' anyone in my family, I used to hate how my siblings raised me. I hated that I had to grow up in a family of known criminals, thus always be viewed on first impressions as a thug myself. I hated that my dad brought me up violently, both at home and on the estate, and ended up making me think from a young age that emotion was a sign of weakness, which is why I'm pretty emotionally reclusive/desensitized in real life now, basically using dry humor as a substitute for everything bloody else.

But overall no, I don't hate anyone, my dad raised me the only way he knew, I guess he wanted me to be tough enough to handle growing up the youngest male of an apparently extremely tough and violent family. I don't think I would have handled my life half as well as I have if I wasn't raised the way I was. I harmed a lot of other people when I was a bit younger, but never myself physically, well, not repetitively anyway; I'm still not even sure if that's a good thing to be honest, maybe cutting yourself is better than kicking the shit out of some other poor fucker. Different ways of ventilating I guess, both seem to be a bitch on mental health.

So, despite my regrets of how my parents raised me, I think I'm stronger because of it; physically and mentally. For those reasons, or at least I think because of those reasons, I forgave my dad, brothers and the people who generally made me think I had to be some sort of fucking street soldier a long time ago.

Lol, funny, my dad always said I was too forgiving.

Anyway, basically:

TLDR Version: No, I don't hate anyone, like many others have said, it takes to much effort to hate. I never found it worth it, it just fucked me up more as a kid.