Lonely friend :(

[ZzKingz]

I have this one friend. He never showers, is always scowling into space when others are near him, wears the same pants everyday, and never trims his nails. He is also pretty cynical. Nobody likes him. Not like he gets bullied (he used to), but I understand why he never makes a positive impression on others. He smells like rotting fish and acne (acne smells like shit, literally), nd it seems like he makes no effort whatsoever to befriend others. It's obvious that he doesn't feel good about himself. It's reflected in his hygiene, social skills, personal style, and body language. He says I'm his best friend.

I feel so bad for him! Everybody avoids him. I wish people would reach out to him, but people will be people and there's nothing I can do to change that. He says he hates school. I just want to make his life more enjoyable. He needs friends. I understand that it's up to him how to live his life, but I don't know what to do to make him feel better.

[botwa]

well have you told them that he should take care of himself more?
there's nothing wrong about it, you know. if you say that in a polite manner of course.

[Desuetude]

Yes maybe it would be helpful just to point things out to him every once and a while, give him some tips on what he could do.
Just be there for him, it seems like he needs you and dont let what other people think stop you from trying to help him out. Invite him round and try and let him be a part of your group at school and involve him with things you and your friends do.
But if he really doenst want to change then you cant make him. he needs to want to help himself before you try and help him.

[Djentleman]

Don't worry about him reaching out to others for now. Just get to know him more and like the others say, invite him around and hang out with him. And if you dare, give him inoffensive tips on updating his hygiene. Clothes and style will come with him enjoying things and find common interest in. Just get him to clean up a bit first. Maybe bye him a deodorant set. He'll either pick up a hint or you should just say what you think is best. But don't be pushy.

[ZzKingz]

I've known him forever, and I've been his best friend since second grade. Maybe I could take him clothes shopping (maybe lol).

[Desuetude]

I've known him forever, and I've been his best friend since second grade. Maybe I could take him clothes shopping (maybe lol).

Yeah sounds like a great idea, i was going to say that but i thought you'd find it to girly :P. Just focus on making sure he feels better and boost his self esteem, getting new clothes could do this and getting someone elses preference would help him find out what he likes. I honestly think it would help.

[ZzKingz]

Well I think he'd find it girly, but tough mittens, my friends just have to put up with that sort of thing.

[Kcorb]

"Tough mittens"

...i like you.

but yeah, i had a friend who was similar, people found him so repulsive that he would occasionally get attacked.

I fixed him up.. and yes. like you thought, clothes shopping did him a world of good.

however.. i also gave him a bath.. i am unsure if YOU should give your Friend a bath.. as we were extremely close.

[Mortal Coil]

It sounds like your friend may have clinical depression. I can't be sure since I don't know him personally and am not a doctor, but hygeine and stuff can slip to the bottom of your priorities list when you're depressed, and like you said he used to get bullied. Perhaps that triggered the depression that's making you worry about him.
I know some people have suggested being oblique and to avoid offending him, but if he's not depressed, and you would know better than I, then just be straight with him. Tell the guy, "you should really change your pants once in a while, you'd look good in [insert color here]", etc.

[DerBear]

If he gets some new clothes and sharpens up on his apperance then, chances are he will feel better. The acne thing, will be harder to solve for 2 reasons 1) acne is really hard to get away at that kinda age. 2) acne can sometimes smell weird (i think) and he possibly due to the fact hes always had it in a sense, cannot smell it....

I suggest you talk to him, but be soft, also as your from the states, a new set of clothes and mixing is probably best.

Good luck

[Borxar]

Yeah I knew someone like that too. Has he been through difficult family situations or anything traumatic. Sometimes things like that can make them detach themselves from society and all they really need is love, so continue to be a loving friend to him and hopefully he will change gradually!