A Hard Situation

[Martin22]

Well there is this girl I am with currently who is not really open with her feelins and tends to shut me out. But I love her and have been with her for almost a year.

Anyway, there is another girl who likes me, we dated a month before me and my current girlfriend. She is different and is open with her feelins and lets me know things. I have been mates with this girl for ages and I am pretty sure I like her.

My question is, what would you do in this situation?

[Heatbomb21]

Barely a situation. If girl number 1 keeps shutting you out, don't waste your energy. Unless you are 104% sure you love her.

Girl #2 and your relationship with her seems legit. Stick with her for the time being and see if you can just be friends with the other one.

[Martin22]

Guess your right, I find girl one very hard to leave though. I have become attached, but I see there is no real reason to be with her when I am giving more than I get back.

[Heatbomb21]

Sorry if that was a bit harsh. But yeah. You get where I'm coming from.

[Martin22]

Yeah I do, not harsh at all really, more trueful.

[Heatbomb21]

Glad I could help.

[xLegendofLink096x]

I find it rude to say (Person 1 & Person 2) so I'm going to use fictional names.
So if Sally is afraid to show her feelings, maybe she has a reason to.
How well do you know her? Or do you just assume to know her?
Maybe she has been abused, raped, or simply just has trust issues.
If you love her like you say you do, you should be willing to put in the effort to make her as happy as you possibly can and not rush into things. She'll come out with her feelings, when she is ready. Her waiting to show you her true feelings, may just be her way of figuring out if she is really in love with you. It's a good thing. That means that she is taking the "relationship" seriously and doesn't want it to just be a fling. I say to give her a chance, but you know... to each his own.

[Martin22]

Think she just has a hard time showing her feelins, but it never used to be this bad. We have kind of gone backwards over the past 4 months.

[Heatbomb21]

I find it rude to say (Person 1 & Person 2) so I'm going to use fictional names.
So if Sally is afraid to show her feelings, maybe she has a reason to.
How well do you know her? Or do you just assume to know her?
Maybe she has been abused, raped, or simply just has trust issues.
If you love her like you say you do, you should be willing to put in the effort to make her as happy as you possibly can and not rush into things. She'll come out with her feelings, when she is ready. Her waiting to show you her true feelings, may just be her way of figuring out if she is really in love with you. It's a good thing. That means that she is taking the "relationship" seriously and doesn't want it to just be a fling. I say to give her a chance, but you know... to each his own.

Damn. I hadn't thought of that.

Disregard everything I said, Martin.

[Clawhammer]

I wouldn't be so quick to cat her aside like that. If you love her, like you said that you do, is she worth the effort to work on the problems together? Some people just don't open up very well, I'm one of them. But I can tell you, if I was in a relationship with someone who thought I wasn't open enough with them, I'd sure as hell rather they sit down and talk things out with me before they dump me on a whim for someone else, only doing further damage to me. You're in a relationship with her, and you've made it this far, don't going screwing her over so easily. You can hurt her badly if you just abandon her like that. You're together, so work it out together. Just ask her why she hasn't been very open with you about what's been on her mind, tell her you're there for her if she wants to talk to you, give her a hand. It may take some time, but just take it easy and use your head.