Why does God like to punish me?

[Lethe]

Why does God like to punish me?

I go hiking for an hour and twenty minutes a day, burning 400-500 calories a day (on top of dieting) and I actually gain a pound.

I get my hair styled differently and it STILL doesn't make me look presentable.

People at school still treat me like I have the plague. Am I really that ugly that you can't treat me like a person? I know I'm not worth dating or being friends with, but honestly?

Why does God enjoy making my life miserable? I can't get a date, I can't lose weight, I can't look good no matter what I do...it's like he wants me to hang myself.

Sigh.

[StoppingTime]

Why does God like to punish me?

I don't know if you are coming from a religious angle or just saying this, but I'll answer it both ways in the post.
I don't think God likes to punish you. You have free will, as does everyone else, but the only thing is that others use it the wrong way.


I go hiking for an hour and twenty minutes a day, burning 400-500 calories a day (on top of dieting) and I actually gain a pound.

You'll get to where you want to be if it is in a healthy level. ED's never solve anything, and just make you doubt yourself much more than you need to. (I don't know if that is what's going on here though, and if not let it stay that way)

May I ask how you are doing?


I get my hair styled differently and it STILL doesn't make me look presentable.

People at school still treat me like I have the plague. Am I really that ugly that you can't treat me like a person? I know I'm not worth dating or being friends with, but honestly?

You are worth it, you do deserve all of this. People just think they are high enough to judge everyone and anyone; sometimes while knowing virtually nothing about them. Don't let others' opinions influence how amazing you are.
You aren't ugly, you are worth it.
How have they been treating you lately?


Why does God enjoy making my life miserable? I can't get a date, I can't lose weight, I can't look good no matter what I do...it's like he wants me to hang myself.

Sigh.


He would never want you to do that; I am sure of it.
There are always times when we think that we will never be able to go forwards, but you will. I'm sure you look great, don't judge yourself to harshly.
And remember, only God can truly judge you. :)



If you ever need anything, we are always here.

[christianteen]

Why does God like to punish me?

I don't understand why you're bringing God into the subject. If it's anything to do with Christianity or another religion, it’s Satan trying to steer you away from God by making you think like that.

I go hiking for an hour and twenty minutes a day, burning 400-500 calories a day (on top of dieting) and I actually gain a pound.

It could depend on what sort of diet you're choosing. Crash and fad diets are a waste of time and money and can be worse for your health then not dieting at all. I hope you don't mind me asking but what sort of diet are you on?

Also, hiking is good for health and fitness but I wouldn't think that it's good for overall weight loss. Moderate to intense cardio is the best. Cycling, running, rowing, stair climbing and cross-country skiing are very good if you can get to a gym. If you can't go to a gym or you don't have a bike, you can always run round the block several times.

And believe it or not, that gaining of a pound could actually be you getting healthier. For you see, muscle weighs a lot more than fat and it's likely that you're getting less fat and getting more muscle especially in your legs due to the hiking.


I get my hair styled differently and it STILL doesn't make me look presentable

Hair styling is a very trivial thing to focus on when you want to look 'presentable.'
Looking presentable is more about being clean, tidy and neat. Having a shower and cleaning with soap, wearing a well ironed garment, clean shoes and neatly brushed hair is what makes someone presentable and I'm sure you can do all of those things and look great :)

People at school still treat me like I have the plague. Am I really that ugly that you can't treat me like a person? I know I'm not worth dating or being friends with, but honestly?

Those people don't know you so why should they judge you? Remember it's all about what's inside not what's on the outside. If you're a good person inside then that's great and much more important than looking beautiful! Just remember that school always ends. It's not going to be like that forever.

Why does God enjoy making my life miserable? I can't get a date, I can't lose weight, I can't look good no matter what I do...it's like he wants me to hang myself.

He definitely doesn't want you to do that. He loves you; you just have to find that love from him.

Don't worry about dating in school. I've never had a girlfriend, first kiss or anything. I've never even really hugged a girl or even held a hand. There are a lot of people in your position.

Just remember you are you and those other negative people are over there and not part of your life. Everyone has amazing qualities of all different things. Find something that you enjoy doing. Play a musical instrument, paint some paintings, go on beach walks, bush walks, join a bird watching club, anything at all! The world is filled with amazing possibilities for everyone!

[Lethe]

To be honest, I do believe God to be punishing me. I suppose it's punishment before Hell, which I'm probabaly going to no matter what. I just wish he'd finish me off soon. Otherwise I'm going to do it myself.

For StoppingTime...I'm eating at least 1300 calories a day, and I have protein, fiber and whole grains in my diet as well, and I'm hiking daily. I don't want to gain any weight, whether it's muscle or not. I'd rather be anorexic and have a smaller number on the scale. I'd look better anyways, and people wouldn't be as judgmental.

People will always feel sorry for me because of how I look, or they'll try to avoid me or just be rude to me. Those are the only three options for me. Either the person feels sorry for me, avoids me, or isn't very nice. I have yet to experience anything other treatments from people.

I don't really know why I'm still alive and what point there is in me still breathing. To be honest, I feel like everyone would be better off without me. Actually, I can guarantee everyone would be better off without me. But I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. Yet.

[trooneh]

To be honest, I do believe God to be punishing me. I suppose it's punishment before Hell, which I'm probabaly going to no matter what. I just wish he'd finish me off soon. Otherwise I'm going to do it myself.
Hey Dee, I don't personally believe in God, but if you believe He is doing this to you, perhaps it is because He has big plans for you in the future and wants you to understand and empathize with others.

For StoppingTime...I'm eating at least 1300 calories a day, and I have protein, fiber and whole grains in my diet as well, and I'm hiking daily. I don't want to gain any weight, whether it's muscle or not. I'd rather be anorexic and have a smaller number on the scale. I'd look better anyways, and people wouldn't be as judgmental.
What you see on the scale is not what matters. How you comport yourself matters more. If you seem confident, even if you aren't, then you will look more attractive and less overweight, if you are overweight. That is something I've learned relatively recently, it took a long time for me to learn this. Also, if you're gaining weight while eating a healthy diet and exercising, then you will probably level out after a while and then start dropping again. If you're worried about the gain of muscle mass, an aerobic exercise such as running or using a rowing machine might be more what you're looking for.

People will always feel sorry for me because of how I look, or they'll try to avoid me or just be rude to me. Those are the only three options for me. Either the person feels sorry for me, avoids me, or isn't very nice. I have yet to experience anything other treatments from people.

Then you have not yet met any good people. I personally treat others based on how they treat people and how intelligent and easy to talk to they are, not based on their physical appearance. I find it incredibly selfish that people would treat you this way because of how you look.

I don't really know why I'm still alive and what point there is in me still breathing. To be honest, I feel like everyone would be better off without me. Actually, I can guarantee everyone would be better off without me. But I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. Yet.

I don't think everyone would be better off without you. There are people that do care about you whether you realize it or not, honestly. You have so many things you can look forward to. If you want, you can focus on your studies so that the people that treat you poorly now are the people that are your underlings in your future career. There is a lot you can do.

[Lethe]

I sincerely doubt that people are nicer elsewhere. I don't think it's very probable that my school and my city are filled with people who are judgmental and rude and other people aren't like that elsewhere. I think most people dislike ugly people and aren't exactly nice to them, which is my case. I doubt in college or after college I'll be treated any better, either. But maybe that's just me.

[trooneh]

I sincerely doubt that people are nicer elsewhere. I don't think it's very probable that my school and my city are filled with people who are judgmental and rude and other people aren't like that elsewhere. I think most people dislike ugly people and aren't exactly nice to them, which is my case. I doubt in college or after college I'll be treated any better, either. But maybe that's just me.

I do think people are more judgmental when they are younger, particularly in middle and early high school. I became more accepted later in high school and in college, myself.

[Lethe]

I'm a senior in high school and people still don't accept me. I'm either too ugly to date, too overweight (I weigh 155lbs and I'm 5'7'', plus I'm big-boned) or I'm just dumpy and plain and there's nothing worth liking about me. Take your pick. Or you can create your own new label for me. Trust me, I've probably heard it before.

[trooneh]

Have you applied to or been accepted in any colleges?

[Lethe]

I'm going to the University of South Dakota for certain; I was accepted in December. It's a small town with around 10,000 students, 35% of which are male and 65% of which are female. I'll probably never get to date because of those odds and because of how I look, but I guess it's not really a big deal.

[trooneh]

You might find the right guy there. Just be yourself and show what makes you different from everyone else. Show the pluses in your personality.

[Lethe]

Personality, apparently, means nothing. It never has, and it never will. The one thing I've learned from staying alive this long is that the only way you'll attract a male to you is if you're pretty and thin. Being big-boned, overweight (despite exercise), unattractive and overall dumpy isn't going to get me anywhere. What guy wants that?

There is no guy out there for me. That's another thing God has done to punish me. He didn't make me a partner.

[trooneh]

Personality does matter. I've seen girls that by all standards are unattractive find guys because of the strength of their personality. You have the ability to do this.

[Borxar]

I've seen many girls feel that way as well and you know, it's not true. Nor is it true that guys only like thin girls. Yes high school is not the best place to feel accepted but you can find someone and be loved, but it depends on you accepting and loving yourself first. A woman with no legs has got a loving husband and children. And another woman spent 10 years strapped in a chair unable to move barely anything and she had a loving husband and she achieved great things. You mighnt feel the best sometimes, but everyone can be loved and you who have undoubted capabilities can be loved. It's how you see yourself and the understanding that you are special no matter what and noone can take that away from you, so dont take it away from yourself.

God is not trying to punish you, because he affirms you as precious in his sight and shows that he loves you. But perhaps you have not felt worth from other people and are using this to punish yourself? But no matter what happens, and there are hard times I understand, who you are as a person will always be special. Dont take that away from yourself, because it leads into a vicious cycle of 'I can never be loved by anyone' and so you miss or ruin opportunities for relationships as a result, when your real beauty is seen within and if you can change that mindset, you will see that you dont have to hurt yourself, because you are loved for who you are, not for what you look like. Can you sorta see what I'm saying? I hope it makes sense!

[Mortal Coil]

Personality, apparently, means nothing. It never has, and it never will. The one thing I've learned from staying alive this long is that the only way you'll attract a male to you is if you're pretty and thin. Being big-boned, overweight (despite exercise), unattractive and overall dumpy isn't going to get me anywhere. What guy wants that?

There is no guy out there for me. That's another thing God has done to punish me. He didn't make me a partner.

I get you completely. I'm pretty fat and dumpy by normal standards, and being surrounded by gorgeous skinny asian girls doesn't help. But you ARE worth being friends with, you just have to remember that high school kids are the worst of the worst because most of them don't have the life experience to understand anything about what the likes of us are going through so they reject us.
God doesn't like to punish you, He's making it easier for you later by getting the worst of it over with now.

[Manga]

Think god is punishing you? Stop believing in him, that'll show him :P

Anyways on a more serious note your diet may be what is making you gain weight. Dieting on the wrong types of substances will hurt your weight more than fix it. What have you been eating lately?

[christianteen]

The funny thing is that your BMI according to your height and weight is in the normal or healthy weight range. You in the PERFECT weight range! Don't worry about it!

[Amaryllis]

Why does God like to punish me?

I go hiking for an hour and twenty minutes a day, burning 400-500 calories a day (on top of dieting) and I actually gain a pound.

I get my hair styled differently and it STILL doesn't make me look presentable.

People at school still treat me like I have the plague. Am I really that ugly that you can't treat me like a person? I know I'm not worth dating or being friends with, but honestly?

Why does God enjoy making my life miserable? I can't get a date, I can't lose weight, I can't look good no matter what I do...it's like he wants me to hang myself.

Sigh.

Firstly, muscle weighs more than fat. Secondly, there are many other reasons to go hiking other than losing weight. Such as becoming stronger, appreciating nature and just being proud of yourself. Not everyone can hike for an hour and 20 minutes a day, Dee. That's amazing. But please, don't overwork yourself.

I've said this to you numerous times: No amount of weight loss, plastic surgery, clothes, hairstyles or accessories can make you love yourself if you're unwilling to love you for you.

Trust me, Dee. Please. I know I'm just a stranger on the internet(This is FaithAndTrust btw) but I know what I'm talking about. I lost a tremendous amount of weight and I -was not any prettier than I was before-. And even if I was, inner beauty in exchange for physical beauty is a house made of paper waiting to fall.

Perhaps these people who don't seem to like being around you are avoiding you simply because you're very depressing and pessimistic. Confidence is like an aura that glows from inside and people can sense that. Without it, you're just lacking. But that can be fixed. I know because I'm fixing it and I never thought I'd say this but I -don't- hate myself.

You can't control what anyone thinks of you. Whatever you do, however gorgeous you may be inside and out, -someone- may just dislike you. But believe it or not, there are those who think well of you and those are the ones that matter.

Be healthy for -you-. Change your hair for you. Strive for the best because -you- want the best. Be happy because life is too precious to be miserable. Love yourself not for anyone else, but because you deserve it and because you can. Decide to be gentle with yourself because given the chance, you will be your greatest asset and best friend.

Change starts from within.

[Vonn]

Oh, Dee. I really have missed you.

Why does God like to punish me?

God punishes everyone. Don't take it personally.

I go hiking for an hour and twenty minutes a day, burning 400-500 calories a day (on top of dieting) and I actually gain a pound.

...I am a retarded male who really has no idea what a calorie even is, so I can't really say anything here. Sorry.

I get my hair styled differently and it STILL doesn't make me look presentable.

So try again. There are so many different hairstyles, I doubt you've tried them all. (What's wrong with just letting your hand down and stopping there? That works for pretty much anybody.)

People at school still treat me like I have the plague. Am I really that ugly that you can't treat me like a person? I know I'm not worth dating or being friends with, but honestly?

I really want to meet these peers of yours that seem to make it their life purpose to put you down for...no reason. Like, we could round some people up and go on a bitch-slapping spree and just them have it.

Why does God enjoy making my life miserable? I can't get a date, I can't lose weight, I can't look good no matter what I do...it's like he wants me to hang myself.

I know, right? You're just so unfortunate-looking. I mean, it's not like you have clear skin or straight, white teeth or nice hair or adorable glasses or a cute smile, God just gave you

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/picture.php?albumid=3156&pictureid=24202

...this. Wait.

Sigh.

Sigh, indeed.

To be honest, I do believe God to be punishing me. I suppose it's punishment before Hell, which I'm probabaly going to no matter what. I just wish he'd finish me off soon. Otherwise I'm going to do it myself.

[-]Nobody ever said God was fair or rational.[/-] Right. He's punishing you for...uh...what exactly have you done?

For StoppingTime...I'm eating at least 1300 calories a day, and I have protein, fiber and whole grains in my diet as well, and I'm hiking daily. I don't want to gain any weight, whether it's muscle or not. I'd rather be anorexic and have a smaller number on the scale. I'd look better anyways, and people wouldn't be as judgmental.

Ugh, more dieting jargon. I'm so useless here.

Don't kid yourself. If you starve yourself, people are going to judge the shit out of you when it starts to show. More so than now, even though I don't see anything wrong with you. At all. I really don't.

People will always feel sorry for me because of how I look, or they'll try to avoid me or just be rude to me. Those are the only three options for me. Either the person feels sorry for me, avoids me, or isn't very nice. I have yet to experience anything other treatments from people.

laskjdflaskdhflasdjf Jesus give me strength.

I'm just sorry you're so down on yourself and that everybody you know seems to be direct descendents of Daniel Dickshit and Bonnie Bitchcunt.

I don't really know why I'm still alive and what point there is in me still breathing. To be honest, I feel like everyone would be better off without me. Actually, I can guarantee everyone would be better off without me. But I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. Yet.

There's no point in anything other than the points you make for yourself. People are allowed to not like you, even if it's just because they're a dick; just like you're free to tell them to fuck off and leave you alone. At least have the self-respect to let them know that they're a douche.

I sincerely doubt that people are nicer elsewhere. I don't think it's very probable that my school and my city are filled with people who are judgmental and rude and other people aren't like that elsewhere. I think most people dislike ugly people and aren't exactly nice to them, which is my case. I doubt in college or after college I'll be treated any better, either. But maybe that's just me.

People in college are generally more mature. Everybody's too worried about their classes and homework and procrastinating and all that shitznit that the only people who are going to look at you twice are the ones that want to know you. People are decent and kind. Really.

I'm a senior in high school and people still don't accept me. I'm either too ugly to date, too overweight (I weigh 155lbs and I'm 5'7'', plus I'm big-boned) or I'm just dumpy and plain and there's nothing worth liking about me. Take your pick. Or you can create your own new label for me. Trust me, I've probably heard it before.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HnYpwIQbZ2U/TsvkWj1SS-I/AAAAAAAAAN0/SJYBmVRaujI/s1600/susan_boyle.jpg

Susan Boyle says she didn't let the way she looked stop her from getting what the fuck she wanted. (Even though she looks perfectly fine.) Right before she opened her mouth and pretty much gave everybody's judgement the finger, the entire world (or Europe) judged the hell outta her fifteen different ways, and that was before they all started whispering to each other. I am just saying. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not looking like a model.

I'm going to the University of South Dakota for certain; I was accepted in December. It's a small town with around 10,000 students, 35% of which are male and 65% of which are female. I'll probably never get to date because of those odds and because of how I look, but I guess it's not really a big deal.

You'll just have to wait and see. You never know.

Personality, apparently, means nothing. It never has, and it never will. The one thing I've learned from staying alive this long is that the only way you'll attract a male to you is if you're pretty and thin. Being big-boned, overweight (despite exercise), unattractive and overall dumpy isn't going to get me anywhere. What guy wants that?

Looks are important, but only to an extent. Personality is the glue that keeps couples together. You look fine. I cannot say or stress it enough. Maybe I should rent a blimp.

There is no guy out there for me. That's another thing God has done to punish me. He didn't make me a partner.

He didn't make you a partner. He made you billions of potential partners. Are you seriously implying that every single male on this planet is going to turn his nose up at you because you're not a skeleton in high heels? Don't be ridiculous.

[Lethe]

Thanks for your well-thought-out response, Dactyl :). I guess you're right, somewhat.

[Sephtyan]

[CREEPY RESPONSE ALERT — MIND-IN-THE-GUTTER-O-RAMA — DECENT PEOPLE TURN AWAY]

Honestly, people come in a plethora of varieties. I know two people who go to my school that dislike skinny. I'm not even talking about anorexia, I'm talking like still-thicker-than-model-skinny. They like girls with chub, and they never deny it. Are you telling me that those are the only two people on earth that are like that?
[CREEPY PART] There's plenty of chubby porn. That wouldn't exist if it wasn't in demand. [END CREEPY PART]
My point is, there should be no reason to change yourself, for other's problems. So they don't like the way you look. Tough tits.

[Buranri]

Ok sorry if I sound like an asshole here... but your first problem is blaming god for everything. God has literally NOTHING to do with how you look, whether people like you, or anything at all really. He's a creation of a civilization thousands of years old, with morals equally as outdated. If you want to believe in him, go ahead, but don't blame him for your problems or ask "why is he punishing you". You don't like your look? Change it. Work out. Hiking won't do shit for making you look better overall. I suggest a mix of stronger cardio (running, biking) as well as some overall body workouts - core, especially. Go to a nice salon, get your hair done, idk. Whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better.

Next, just be nicer. This'll sound harsh, but I wouldn't date you - because it drives me insane when people are complaining about their life constantly. Talk more, smile, don't be a bitch about everything. If you enjoy life, it makes life better - true story. And when you enjoy life, people like you more. Find a passion, whether that's music, art, theater, whatever. If you meet people who share the same passion then BAM! Automatic friends. I found mine last year, when I started band, and my life has gotten so much better. I've dated one girl and am currently dating another, whereas before I had spent 15 years single. I marched drum corps, and met some amazing people (as well as getting some great stories). Band motivates me to get my shit done - whether that's working out, doing my homework so I can practice, going to work so I can pay for corps.

Edit: Huh, that picture on the last page was you? Cause if so... excuse me for putting this bluntly, but you're kinda hot :p

Sorry if that rant got off topic, but it boils down to this - be happier! Don't blame "god" for your problems. Take control of your life. Be happier, find a passion, make friends. You'll never be happy if you put all your energy into thinking "I'm a terrible person, why did god do this to me"