How do I get him to trust me?

[canadaski]

I've got a friend that I'm pretty sure knows I'm gay. I haven't told him directly but I've hinted and joked around.

I think he fears being alone with me or close to me and thinks I may seduce him or something.:rolleyes: Last week he didn't want to see a movie as I was the only one that ended up wanting to go in the end. Whenever I sit beside him at a restaurant or something I get the feeling that he feels awkward.

I think "geez, I want to be your friend not have sex with you." What is going on here?

[CrossingtheCourtyard]

He may just feel a bit uneasy and threatened, just calm him down and tell him you aren't interested.

[Camazot]

just ask him why hes acting weird or if you know forr a fact he knows your gay then tell him you dont like him

[canadaski]

The original post wasn't 100% accurate. I turns out I am very attracted to him, but I know from experience I can't assume that everyone is straight unless mentioned otherwise. I rarely hear him talk about girls, when he does it seems like it's forced and a little awkward. I'm probably reaching for excuses to label him as gay, but I don't want to have a relationship with someone else and then figure out that I could be with him.

I was sitting beside him in the movie theatre and all I could think about was him, holding him and kissing him. At one point, our arms were touching on the armrest. Even through several layers of clothing, it felt amazing.

I just don't know what to do. Is this something I could talk about with my counselor?

[Desuetude]

Well i dont think you should just assume he's gay. Talk to him about it, just let him know that you want to be friends and if thats all you ever can be then i think that you may have to find a way to live with and respect that.
But there is a chance that he is awkward around you because he is confused about his sexuality. i mean he might think that because your gay you may pick up that hes not 100% straight.
You could talk about it with your councelor but i dont know what good it would do? The best thing would be to talk straight with your friend then no one gets confused and you both know where you stand.

[Vonn]

The original post wasn't 100% accurate. I turns out I am very attracted to him, but I know from experience I can't assume that everyone is straight unless mentioned otherwise. I rarely hear him talk about girls, when he does it seems like it's forced and a little awkward. I'm probably reaching for excuses to label him as gay, but I don't want to have a relationship with someone else and then figure out that I could be with him.

I was sitting beside him in the movie theatre and all I could think about was him, holding him and kissing him. At one point, our arms were touching on the armrest. Even through several layers of clothing, it felt amazing.

I just don't know what to do. Is this something I could talk about with my counselor?

This is the exact opposite of the OP. At first your friend was just being paranoid, but now it turns out he is completely justified.

Just open your mouth and talk to him. Fuck awkwardness. The best way out of an awkward situation is to just plow through it.

[canadaski]

This is the exact opposite of the OP. At first your friend was just being paranoid, but now it turns out he is completely justified.

Just open your mouth and talk to him. Fuck awkwardness. The best way out of an awkward situation is to just plow through it.

I know, sorry. I've been attracted to him for two years when I first met him (before I was comfortable with being gay). He invited me over to his house once and I declined saying I had something to do when I really didn't. I was afraid of being gay and had it in my head that hanging out alone with another guy may lead to something. We stopped talking as I didn't have any classes with him. It was at the beginning of this semester we somehow started going out for breakfast every day with 1 or two other friends. Before, in grade 10 it was just a feeling of "he's cute and funny" but it turned into something much more.

It just feels as if I can't casually stand by my feelings and just be a friend. At the same time, I have no idea what to do. When you say talk to him, do you mean that I should tell him how I feel?

[Vonn]

It just feels as if I can't casually stand by my feelings and just be a friend. At the same time, I have no idea what to do. When you say talk to him, do you mean that I should tell him how I feel?

Absolutely. If he's going to stop talking to you because oh no, a guy has a crush on him, how horrible, then that'll tell you a lot about the friendship you shared. A friend would just say they weren't interested and be totally cool about it.

[canadaski]

Absolutely. If he's going to stop talking to you because oh no, a guy has a crush on him, how horrible, then that'll tell you a lot about the friendship you shared. A friend would just say they weren't interested and be totally cool about it.

What would be the best way to tell him? I'm not really alone with him that often.

[Vonn]

What would be the best way to tell him? I'm not really alone with him that often.

Call, text, email, Facebook message, mail, note, etc., etc. Or the next time you see him just ask if you two could have a minute alone. *If you give me his number, for $7.95 I'll tell him for you.

*let the records show that I am totally joking

[decaffe]

hes most likely homophobic just start small and sre were it goes from there

[danny7]

ask him to talk

[canadaski]

So, I ended up seeing a movie with him alone because other people backed out at the last minute (to be honest this made me excited). We had a good time but I felt an awkward sign or two.

We sat down originally, and he got up to take his jacket off and sat back down one seat to his left with a seat in between us. This drove me crazy knowing he was right there, but not close enough. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him.

We got out of the movie and drove home. I really wanted to tell him but I couldn't. If I can't be a boyfriend then I want a friendship at least. Anyway, we drove home listening to "The Best Thing About Me Is You" and "True Colors." :D

I really wish he would say something to break my silence. I wish he'd at least ask me if I'm gay. It's so hard to buckle down and say it.

It's driving me insane not being able to express my emotion. What can I do to buckle down and come out to him? Should I mention the awkwardness and my sexuality to him and then leave the feelings for him for later?

[Vonn]

God, it's like a really annoying yet addicting FictionPress romance story (...what?). Please refer to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQbN3YRyhcQ&feature=plcp&context=C32d09caUAOEgsToPDskJuWqsdVldNRaDe7-LtYCjl) video, and tell him that an entire Internet forum is going to be aware of his response to you so he should choose his words carefully.

[canadaski]

God, it's like a really annoying yet addicting FictionPress romance story (...what?). Please refer to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQbN3YRyhcQ&feature=plcp&context=C32d09caUAOEgsToPDskJuWqsdVldNRaDe7-LtYCjl) video, and tell him that an entire Internet forum is going to be aware of his response to you so he should choose his words carefully.

I'm sorry if I'm annoying, I can't help it, I just don't know what to do.

I really wish I could just grow some balls and out myself to everybody, but my problem is bigger than that. For some reason, it feels as though I may get relief from him knowing, regardless of his reaction. It's a really big climb to the top of the mountain, and every time I get close, I fall off and have to start all over again.

In regard to the forum comment, this isn't something I can talk about with anybody. I'm tired of being alone with my thoughts, I just needed an opinion.

You're right, I am scared and I do need to grow some balls. How do I grow those balls, at least temporarily to let this out?

[Fourth Dimension]

In my opinion vent all you need that's what we are here for to help one another and it is hard to tell guy friends in my opinion one day I just took the plunge and told my guy friends I covered the female friends first they were easier for some reason but I told my guy friends and they were cool with it I havnt lost a single friend by coming out to them so I wish you luck it will feel so much better when you do it and remember if he's a true friend he won't care if you ever need someone to vent/talk to feel free to vm or pm me

Sent from my HTC Inspire 4G using Tapatalk Pro

[Mortal Coil]

He doesn't understand it. Some guys just indiscriminately want to screw every girl who walks past (some of my guy friends have told me that, not making an assumption) and he probably thinks that gay guys just indiscriminately want to screw every guy who walks past. IT's stupid and wrong, but just tell him straightforward that you think it's rediculous that his opinion of you has changed so radically just because of your sexual orientation.
I'm sorry about this guy.