Hurting

[acryforhelp]

Both psychically and emotionally. I have felt like crying all evening and I dont know what the deal is. I cut today even though I shouldnt have. I have also been taking diet pills becuase I so desperatley want to loose weight....then my grandma made me eat a big dinner so now on top of all that I feel like I am going to throw up....only I cant because they will hear me. So frustrated and ready to be done. Wish I had someone to tell the position Im in. But I never know if I really need to tell them or just suck it up and carry on.......

[Magenta]

Hi Alleah. :)

I'm really sorry to hear how badly you've been feeling lately. It sucks to feel so drained and hurt not just in your mind but all over, I know. Don't feel too bad about the cutting. We all slip up. Thing is, you just have to remember to get back up again. You're stronger than that. You can do it.

You always have us to tell and you do so which is good. A lot of people are even scared to share their problems online and never get the chance to vent it out even a little bit. It's great you can have an outlet here. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. :) You don't have 100 posts yet but you can always PM staff members like me if you need anything.

As for telling someone, do you have a trusted friend, teacher, counselor or parent? Just 'sucking it up' may seem like a good idea sometimes but everyone needs support once in awhile and it's okay to ask for it. Having someone to talk to in person is better because they can help in ways we here can't. You never have to go through this alone. If you even need to just hear a voice, call a hotline. There are plenty that are more than willing to help you out.

Take care. :hug:

[acryforhelp]

As for telling someone...I have a counselor and I have her number....its just I never know when Its time to call her. Obviously i made it through last night but I still feel like just sitting and crying. This isnt me.

[Desuetude]

Hey, why don't you talk to your councellor, isn't that what she's there for? You shouldnt be afraid to call her, if she didn't want you to then you wouldnt have her number. Sucking it up might seem brave but holding all your emotions in is very dangerous, one day you not going to hold it in any longer and your going to start hating yourself if you dont talk to someone about it.
Like Jo said a hotline may be helpful, childline is a great one to call if you just want someone to talk to and you dont even need a voice, if you just register on their website then you can just chat to one of the people there and they are really helpful.
There is nothing wrong with crying, its a great way to let everything out and at least your not cutting, its fine that you had a slip up but you can get over it, you just have to be strong and dont give up after just once. If will get better, i was at a major low a few days ago but im ok now just belive you can do it and im sure you will!

[Magenta]

Call her whenever you need to. She's there to help you. :) If it's too late in the evening or early in the morning, there are 24 hour helplines that are available to you (though I can't suggest one since I don't know where you're from). Or, if you can, try to see if you can see her more often. Sometimes talking over the phone feels weird but seeing her more often may alleviate some stress in between the times you normally do.

[acryforhelp]

I am on a 2/1 schedule with my counselor meaning i see her twice one week and then once the next since there is a heavy financial burden that comes with seeing her. This is one of the once a week and i just happen to be struggling more. I dont know why I am so hesitant to call her..but I am. I also have an accountability partner but I am hesitant to call her as well........