Confessions

[Spook]

My mom doesn't even talk to me anymore.
My best friend won't answer my calls.
My sister hates me.
I have no friends- no exaggeration there.
I can't remember the last time I hung out with anyone.
I can't remember the last time I was happy.
I play it cool, but really I'm dissolving inside.
I make all A's and it isn't enough.
My dad is disappointed in my grades.
I'm on the honor roll and advanced learner's program and have all A's and it doesn't matter.
The only people I can talk to aren't people.
Letters to myself don't work anymore.
I think about cutting.
I want to cut.
I'm hurting.

[uncleK]

stop being a puppet to people who don't even care about you. and then go. go where your heart leads you, and don't look back. You will meet new people, real people, people who want to be with you. And remember that it will all be okay in the end. I will be your new friend ;) and im not saying that just to make you feel better, i would love to talk sometime and get to know eachother.

[XxMaymayxX]

I know how you feel. Having negative influences in your life make it a living hell.
Not getting along with a sibling hurts more than anything, because they are the ones that you are supposed to be able to count on no matter what...
In my situation, hiding what I was actually feeling only made everything worse. I started to shut down and lock everyone around me out.
Having everything in your head is tough because you can't escape from it.
I also know first hand that cutting is only a temporary solution and is something that some, including myself, become dependent on.
If you ever want to talk, I am here to listen.
Feel free to message me anytime.
I'm here to understand. :)

[Smeagol]

I feel so sorry for you and I hope that everything works out. If you think that it is as bad as it can get, it can only get better :)

[Desuetude]

I know how you feel about the letters, there purpose wears off after a while, it did for me anyway. Try finding other ways to take your mind off cutting. Make yourself busy so you'll have no time to even think about it, go for walks and if it helps listen to music, snapping a rubber band is meant to help as well.
Is there anything at all you love to do? If so try and make more time for it. Instead of thinking about the many bad things in life try to pick out good ones even if they're really tiny like getting a new coat or someone smiling at you. If you make it a challenge to get 3 a day then that is something to take your mind off the bad things and although it may not seem much but if your looking for them good will come.
The fact that you get A's do matter, they matter a lot. If not to anyone else then to you. Just think about the future and what good grades can take you to, the possabilities are endless and you can get away from everything. Exactly the same again my dad expects perfection but you and I both know that not everyone is perfect, most people are far from it, it hurts not being able to live up to parents expectations but you have to know that once you out there, in the world, you can do anything and be anyone you want to be.
You just have to hang in there and be strong, it will be ok, just don't expect it to be straight away. You have to help yourself and work at it and overtime things will get a lot better. other people feel your pain and understand what you're going through, just know that you don't have to go through it alone. :)

[Spook]

I haven't actually cut before, but I have a strong desire to nowadays. Thanks for the nice comments, I'll try the things you suggested. :)

[Quercus]

Heres my opinion..
#1 you look pretty :)
#2 you shouldnt care what people say.. its your life
#3 dont cut.. it only makes things worse imho
#4 tell your parents how you feal..
#5 find new friends :)

[DirtyDog78]

PLEASE DONT CUT YOURSELF!!! think about it. What did you you to get people angry. are you depressed? think before you act.

[OzGirlRachael]

I know it doesnt feel like it, but even tho you say noone cares I bet people do, you just dont feel like they do. I dont think cutting will help anything accept to give u scars. Find someone u can talk to or try to make some friends.