Everything is falling apart

[Schnope]

I seriously need to vent. Everything is falling apart again. Nothing works for me and everything I do just brings me down. Every time I try anything, it just fucks up. My friends don't even care about, and whenever I want to discuss my problems they just tell me to 'get over it' or not to 'worry about it'. Do you know how fucking annoying it is? You can't just get over a problem, so they just make me feel like shit. They make me feel like they don't care, they don't want to talk about my crazy emotions and that we should just be oblivious to everything which is shit. You know, I have to start a conversation over the internet or they won't talk to me, I need to plan something if we want to hang out together. I am on the verge of breaking point. They never do anything, I feel like I am being taken for granted. Maybe I am just a bit over-sensitive, but who cares.

Then whenever I try anything, and I mean ANYTHING it just never works out. Do you know how frustrating it is to try so hard at an exam only to do shit?Do you know how frustrating it is to try your fucking best at something only to just fuck up even more? Then being traumatised from bullying from a young age, I can't walk on the street without feeling fucking scared I would be ridiculed for who I am.

I am just over everything, it is frustrating and pissing me off. I don't know how long this is going to go for, because I can't live the rest of my life feeling like this and if it means having to end my life early then it so be it. I can't stand this feeling of emptiness, frustration and struggle which I face everyday of my fucking life.

[Bob_]

Than don't live like that. Fuck those who don't care, you're not here to impress them. Your friends... I know what you mean. I've got a best friend who doesn't understand any of my problems, but he's an overly-good influence. My other closest friend, who I've been friends with my whole life, can relate to a lot of what I do. Problem is, my life is so odd & fucked up, every major problem I have, I don't know a single person who's been there. Especially with relationships. You can't let them get to you, they don't always know what to do to help if they've never been in similar situations. This weekend was one of the worst I've had in a long time, but I'm here helping you. You can cope with it of you have so far; what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Best of luck with these problems, hope they don't persist.

-Bob

[Carlyle]

The issue with your friends could be there ignorance to realize the severity of your problem. If you don't stress the importance that you want to talk about it and its bugging you, they might think its just minor and shrug it off. But then, if they do that all the time, they just aren't real friends and you should hang out with other people.

I know you might not like to hear it, but you need to try to get over the fact that you were bullied at a young age. It can take a while, but you have to understand that not everyone is going to hurt you. Their will be bullies again sooner or later, even though you don't want to hear it. But if you're strong about it and don't let them get to you, They won't have a reason to bug you because you're not being affected.

[XxMaymayxX]

Even though clique, "when you hit rock bottom the only way to go it up". Life has a wicked way of throwing shit in your face and not giving you any ideas of how to deal with it.
I had an issue similar to yours with my friends until finally I sat them down and explained to them what was going on with me. If they still tell you to 'deal with it' I'm sorry to say it but it may be time to find more understanding individuals to surround yourself with.

The tormenting at a young age can be traumatizing and does take a long time to get over. If at all possible find something that can be related to the situation and rid yourself of it. For example, I write down what happened that hurt me and I burn it. Oddly enough it it refreshing.

As for exams, if you're having an off day sometimes teachers or professor's will be extremely understanding if it's not a reoccurring thing.

Feel free to message me about anything, anytime.