Am I a cold hearted ass hole?

[antiabort]

I'm not going to lie, I don't like my mother or my step dad. And I do not want to attend their wedding if they get married. I plan on just saying "i'm not going" and ending it at that. This will obviously hurt my mom's family, but I don't even give a fuck, their feelings just... Don't matter that much to me. I feel like such a selfish bastard.

[Jupiter]

Well, maybe you should go anyway. I mean, just because you don't like them doesn't mean that you will always not like them. You might regret not going.

[antiabort]

Well, maybe you should go anyway. I mean, just because you don't like them doesn't mean that you will always not like them. You might regret not going.

I don't know man, I just find their relationship wrong... This is only with my mom and stepdad too. My dad being a total ladies man doesn't bother me one bit. But, then again, all the girls he knows are really cool. My stepdad is kind of a douche.

[Jupiter]

My stepdad is kind of a douche.

I know how that feels there. But, you have to remember, it's your mom. The one who gave birth to you, the one who pushed you out of her vagina.

She loves you. Don't break her heart.

[antiabort]

I know how that feels there. But, you have to remember, it's your mom. The one who gave birth to you, the one who pushed you out of her vagina.

She loves you. Don't break her heart.

She's broken mine twice. And pushed me to the point of drug use. I'd rather not say what happened, I see not going to their wedding as a revenge thing too.

[Magenta]

In the end, it is your choice, but remember that it's a decision that you'll have to live with. No matter what your mum has done, it'll hurt to see her own son not go to her wedding. However, I have to say that if you don't want to go, you have the right to that opinion. I've been in the same position where I didn't want to go if my step-mother and dad got married. Don't use it as revenge though. That's not fair to your mum. It's supposed to be a happy day for her.

But don't beat yourself up about it if you don't go. If it feels wrong to go, that's okay. It doesn't make you any less of a good person. Think about it and figure out what feels best and if maybe you can push your personal feelings aside for your mum. Whatever she's done and however much you don't like her new husband, a wedding is special and I'm sure they want everyone to be there.

[Jupiter]

She's broken mine twice. And pushed me to the point of drug use. I'd rather not say what happened, I see not going to their wedding as a revenge thing too.

I find -this- cold hearted. Even though she broke your heart, she is STILL your mom, you have to remember this, though, right?

[Desuetude]

I don't think you should feel pressured into going just because it's your mum. Basically what Jo said but if it spent feel right then leave it but if you think you can bear one day of being happy go for it. I mean I hated my mum's ex boyfriend so I know exactly how you feel, I refused to go sultry at his house it just didn't feel right. To be honest it's your decision and yours alone, she might be hurt but if you warn her before hand maybe she will calm down a bit, don't be so cold hearted as to tell her on her wedding day that your not going. Just do what feels right and I'm sure your mum will still love you whatever you decide.

[kenoloor]

I don't think you should feel pressured into going just because it's your mum.

Precisely this. Your connection to her is fundamentally arbitrary, based upon genetics alone. It's not like you chose your family.

Besides that, Jo said it wonderfully.

[randomme]

not at all im sure your a kind person

[Moxie]

She can't force you to go to their wedding. Also, if your relationship is as horrible as you've made it out to be, maybe that's a good reason to stay. However, if you feel like you could go, you should.

When it comes to the "am I a cold hearted asshole" part of your post, no. Absolutely not. If you've undergone bad experiences with your mother, a sort of disliking towards her is, to some degree, rather normal. I understand what you're going through, and I also understand that close relationships, when severed, can end up hurting you the most.

Don't go if you don't want to.

[botwa]

maybe you don't have to go and have fun but just at least attend the official part of marriage and then you can go.
it shouldn't hurt your mother that much if you did so

anyway think that it must be a happy day for your mother, it's about her, not about you, make her a little present by attending. then the celebration would be complete

[DirtyDog78]

I respect your belief but you are being a little too cold hearted. Your mom has always loved you and cared about you. Try to understand her but don't hurt her. That is a big mistake to commit

[Abyssal Echo]

personally out of respect for your mom you should at least attend the ceremony then if you wish to leave thats up to you. One day down the road you might need her for one reason or another it would really suck if she turned her back on you.

Like my Mom tells me all the time "what you give out you get back"

[Amaryllis]

I find -this- cold hearted. Even though she broke your heart, she is STILL your mom, you have to remember this, though, right?

She's -just- his mum. In all honestly, I try to think of my parents as sperm and egg donators, money banks and as for my mum, my host body for 9 months.

But. I do believe there is a line in the freedom of our actions. Once that action hurts others, we become a little more bitter inside and those around us do, too.

You're going to have to live with your stepdad for some time, no? You're going to have to live with your mum for even longer. Why torture yourself and them by being defiant? There is a time when you should put your foot down but this isn't one of them.

It's very difficult living around people who just feel like they're oozing with dirty, muddy oil but they cannot influence you if you choose not to let them. I say go for the wedding or at least be apologetic about it.

If your stepdad makes it +1 asshole and you go +1 asshole, you'll end up with 123432422300000 asshole points before you know it and you will make things harder for yourself. If you cope better and know when to reason and step down or just walk away, you'll save yourself and your mother the anguish.

[Genghis Khan]

I find -this- cold hearted. Even though she broke your heart, she is STILL your mom, you have to remember this, though, right?

Bullshit. This makes absolutely no difference.

I may not know the entire background of what's going on, but if you're uncomfortable with going to your mother's second wedding which is extremely understandable then you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Wouldn't you rather take the time to let the fact sink in rather than go and feel like total shit. It sounds to me that you're not emotionally ready to be there to witness something like that happen, this might just lead you become more resentful and bitter towards your stepdad and your mother. The choice should be yours kid, in the end only you should be able to decide whether or not you're ready for this regardless of whether it's your mother or dead Abraham's carcass, if your mother really loves you she'd understand why you'd choose not to go rather than pester you into going because she wants your support. Don't at all feel bad about it, your feelings are natural.

[Mortal Coil]

I hate my parents too, so you aren't if I'm not.
I hope I'm not.
You're fine. Parents are the assholes.

[Breakeven]

ur not cold hearted but does ur mom really deserve that ? no matter what she did or how she treated u
ur better then that , go to the wedding and dont give a fuk about it , it will mean the world to ur mum