(Urgent) Help with telling my friend.

[dark_soul777]

Well, as some of you know I have started cutting again :( I'm going to try to stop (again), but that's not the point of this thread.
Anyway, I have one good friend in my life and we're really close. Yesterday I told her that something rather full on had happened with me. She doesn't know I cut, and now she's asking me whats going on.
We both have a fair few problems and I have literally stopped her from killing herself before, I'm just not sure how she would react if I told her I cut/have started again.
So, how have other peoples friends reacted and how should I tell her? (I have decided I want too).
Please reply quickly, if I take all day to reply to her, she might assume the worst and think something really bad has happened.

[StoppingTime]

I cannot speak from experience, but I'll give you some insight...

If you really have stopped her from committing suicide, I'm sure she trusts you.
That is, of course, one of the best things anyone can ever do, and you should be proud of yourself.

Anyway, I'm sure that wasn't something she wanted advertised, and I'm sure you didn't tell anyone.
I'm sure she'd understand what you're going through just like when you helped her.


Good luck, and if you ever need to talk, we're always here to help you.


~StoppingTime/Steven

[Princess Ariel]

From what I've read. You guys sure as hell trust each other with a lot of things.
If she truly did care for you, she would comfort you, and try to stop you again.
If she gets aggravated with you, then just walk away.]
It's just simply a waste of your time at that point..

If you need any help, you can always ask me.

[Magenta]

Well, it's been awhile so I'm assuming you may have already told her. If not, both Steven and Casey had good points.

You two have already been through a lot together. Try to explain to her that you've been having your own hard time and you've turned to some bad habits that you would like her support in trying to stop. If she's receptive to this, tell her more. Hopefully it will work out.

I don't remember how I told people. It just sort of came up and everyone I've told has been wonderful with it. Sometimes people will not bring it up again, not because they don't care but because they want to give you your space or they're not sure how to approach the subject again. Others won't know anything about cutting and won't understand it. If this turns out to be the case, try to explain it as best you can without getting too frustrated. I've noticed it sometimes help you understand yourself more and your own triggers by trying to educate someone else.

Hope all is well. :hug: And I know it's not the point, but it's great to hear you want to try stopping again. The initiative does wonders.

[dark_soul777]

I am so close to telling her, I just can't seem to find the words. She knows there is something I want to tell her she even asked "what did you do?", (I said the problem is more something I've done rather than something that is happening, by the way this is all via Facebook. I could never do it face to face, I am far too socially awkward).

I know she will try her best to help me, she knows I've been depressed and about lots of my problems.
I could just reply "I cut myself", but it doesn't give any insight and it sounds awful. I just don't know what to say :/

[StoppingTime]

I am so close to telling her, I just can't seem to find the words. She knows there is something I want to tell her she even asked "what did you do?", (I said the problem is more something I've done rather than something that is happening, by the way this is all via Facebook. I could never do it face to face, I am far too socially awkward).

I know she will try her best to help me, she knows I've been depressed and about lots of my problems.
I could just reply "I cut myself", but it doesn't give any insight and it sounds awful. I just don't know what to say :/

Well, I wouldn't do it through Facebook.
You never really understand a person from the text on a computer; you have to be there.

You have described how much the two of you trust each other. She probably understands what you are going through, and would be eager to help you if you told her.

Sure its hard, but isn't it better than keeping it to yourself?
It is always so much easier to actually talk to someone about things like this, especially someone like your friend. She's always been there for you, and you for her.

Good Luck, and we are always here. :)


~StoppingTime/Steven

[dark_soul777]

Well, I wouldn't do it through Facebook.
You never really understand a person from the text on a computer; you have to be there.
I know, it's just that I'm on school holidays at the moment and since I live in the middle of nowhere, I don't really get that many opportunities to leave the house :/

I remember when I told her about being depressed and my therapist and things, right after it I started freaking out and then she told me that shes going through the exact same thing. I know she will keep it a secret if I ask and I know she wont judge me, but I just don't know how to say it.
Am I supposed to just say "I cut myself", or am I meant to try and explain it to her. I just don't know, and it's really starting to fuck me around :/

[StoppingTime]

I know, it's just that I'm on school holidays at the moment and since I live in the middle of nowhere, I don't really get that many opportunities to leave the house :/

I remember when I told her about being depressed and my therapist and things, right after it I started freaking out and then she told me that shes going through the exact same thing. I know she will keep it a secret if I ask and I know she wont judge me, but I just don't know how to say it.
Am I supposed to just say "I cut myself", or am I meant to try and explain it to her. I just don't know, and it's really starting to fuck me around :/

You can't try to even call her?

[dark_soul777]

I'm afraid I'd just freeze up, I know I would.

[StoppingTime]

I guess if you don't feel completely comfortable talking over the phone, Facebook is a last resort.
I wouldn't use the word "cut", maybe, "I wish I told you this earlier, but I self harm....." Something along those lines.

[dark_soul777]

That sounds pretty good, thank you, it means a lot that you want to help.
I think I will be able to now, even if it has taken 3 days of thinking about not much else, i'll let you guys know how it goes....

[HeroesAndCons]

just relax, if you stopped her from killing herself it should be a bit easier. Call her and tell her something like "i trust you enough to tell you something" then when she sais what say "ive been self harming for _ (years months days) and i trust you to know this" You can try something like that. and if she is a true friend she'll help ya

[dark_soul777]

I told her and she took it really well. It feels great to have it of my chest. I think she really understands, apparently shes had friends with similar problems before, I'm so glad I told her :)