what's wrong with me!?

[mynameisjane]

i turn 17 next month. i've been out with 3 guys in my life. i've never been kissed.

the first guy i liked until just before the dance. i was thinking about him and i thought that he was kinda ugly. and then we had a horrible date because he didnt want to dance and he wouldnt talk. and then he dumped me monday.
the second guy i liked for a long time and after we went out, i decided he was kinda ugly and our personalities don't match and he wasnt affectionate enough.
the third guy i went out to a video game lock in and we just spent the whole night talking and i thought that it might be the beginning of a relationship. but then i was also thinking with some of the things he was talking about that he's kinda a pussy. but he lost interest in me because he liked this girl who he didnt really know with bigger breasts.

to forget him, i turned my interest to my new friend who recently started driving me to and from school, mainly because he drives a nice car. i spent a lot of time getting to know him last week and hanging around him and started liking him for him. but then it seemed the more i started wondering if he liked me back, the more i started thinking he wasnt so attractive. so he wanted to hang out with me at my house after school on the last day, and i was repulsed by the thought. and whatever he says to me when i talk to him online, i just think, "he's gross. what was i thinking?"

i know he's not a horrible person. i dont know why i suddenly think he is. i hate myself for feeling that way. i dont know why i feel repulsed by guys who like me. i dont know why seriously considering getting closer to a guy makes me uncomfortable. i dont know why i can't have a serious boyfriend. i want a boyfriend. i want someone to be close to. i dont know whats wrong with me.

[Gumleaf]

maybe things move to fast for you, but you don't realise it?

[mynameisjane]

i might feel like things are moving too fast. but i liked the second guy for a really long time before. and it felt like, if anything, things were moving too slow with his lack of affection. i'm thinking maybe i should just go out with him and maybe this feeling will just go away. but i dont want to risk hurting him or myself or my family not liking him or losing my ride to school.

[Gumleaf]

maybe because you have had a couple of bad experiences, such as being dumped and a bad date, this has scarred you off getting close to someone else. being dumped is an awful feeling (i know from experience) and because you might have a fear of that happening again, you are trying to find ways to stop getting close to someone, but don't realise it. e.g. find faults with someone when you feel your getting close to them. i would suggest that you maybe have a break from relationships so your mind can try and get over your dumping fears. i heard someone say that time is the best healer from bad experiences, so maybe this would apply to you. hope this helps you, pm me if you want to talk further.

[DestroyTheFuture]

maybe you havent been kissed because your arent outgoing enough?

theres already been fine advice on the actual relationships, so im going to mention a different thing

if you want to be kissed, which im sure you do, just go to a party and make out with some guy. lol, guys dont really mind if they are single and you are attractive to them.

theres a good combination with sexual attraction, personality and looks.

you need to be at least decent looking otherwise a guy wont want to be sexually attracted with you, and you also need to be very outgoing, this is just being flirty and hinting that you are the girl who will give him some (in lack of better terms)

to be honest, i dont care, and neither to the 20 kids that i hang around, if a good looking single girl is slutty and i get action from her. maybe some guys do, and so youll basically just have to choose the right guy to hook up with.

[mynameisjane]

oh i know if i wanted to get kissed, or laid, within 15 minutes, i could. but i'm a girl, why would i want my first kiss from just anyone? i don't just want physical attention. no girl does, and if they say they do its just because they dont think theyre good enough for more. i want someone to care about me. girls are not as complicated as guys think. i'm suprised that you'd suggest that, but then i'm kinda not. but thanks anyways.

[Gumleaf]

oh i know if i wanted to get kissed, or laid, within 15 minutes, i could. but i'm a girl, why would i want my first kiss from just anyone? i don't just want physical attention. no girl does, and if they say they do its just because they dont think theyre good enough for more. i want someone to care about me. girls are not as complicated as guys think. i'm suprised that you'd suggest that, but then i'm kinda not. but thanks anyways.


my gf and i go out of ways to care for eachother and to do special things for eachother. thats what makes our relationship special. although we have done oral once, we are not having intercourse anytime soon because we both know that relationships should not be based on sex.