I dont know how to help her

[Aquila]

First off, i do not self-harm, however, my friend used to. A year or two ago, she went through a really rough time dealing with her dads death, and her low self-esteem, but she overcame that, for a time. Recently however, her relationship with her boyfriend has been going terribly, and her self-esteem is lower then ever. Shes been desperately trying to lOse weight, and told me shes wanted to self-harm again, being on the verge or it earlier this evening. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel what i say doesnt mean anything, and while ive been trying to be there for her, and show her how much i care, shes been blocking me out. I dont know much about self-harm, but i dont want to see her sad anymore. She means the word to me. Please help? Thanks.

[LonelyOleander]

It's going to sound like a cliche- but be there for her.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

It's going to sound like a cliche- but be there for her.

This, pretty much. Be there for her, but don't force anything upon her. Let her know that you're there for her, but don't make her say anything, or do anything. Make sure you stay within her comfort range. If she asks you not to bring it up, respect her wishes, likewise, if she wants to talk about it, be there for her.

That's really all you can do. You can't really make her 'better' magically, although that would be awesome.

[Aquila]

She hasnt spoken to me at all today, which is incredibly unusual for her. I'm worried for her. I think she needs to go see someone, but once, months ago when i suggested it, she got depressed, saying that i had betrayed her. I dont want her to turn against me, especially now. What should i do?

[Magenta]

She hasnt spoken to me at all today, which is incredibly unusual for her. I'm worried for her. I think she needs to go see someone, but once, months ago when i suggested it, she got depressed, saying that i had betrayed her. I dont want her to turn against me, especially now. What should i do?

A lot of people think telling an adult is a good idea... but I'd recommend against it unless you think she is a serious danger to herself and it's completely out of your hands or you know for sure she is going to do something. That sense of betrayal can be really hard for someone who prolly already feels pretty alone.

Everyone has their quiet days. Maybe give her another day or two to let whatever it is run its course then lightly bring up that you've noticed something's wrong and you're there for her if she wants you to be. Sometimes the good friend instinct comes off a bit pushy so try not to pressure her into talking about it, just remind her you're there and maybe remind her that there are others there for her too if she reaches out to them.

[Ambrosia]

A lot of people think telling an adult is a good idea... but I'd recommend against it

Especially this, do not do this. Simply because it could cause everything to get worse, and so far this is something you can try and help with.

When she finally does contact you, make sure you make it clear to her that you are always there for her, and you want to help her. Not help her quit, but help her simply not do so. Invite her over, invite her to go hang out, go for a walk, or go do anything you possibly can to keep her from sitting in her room thinking about all the bad things going on. Distractions work great when it comes to not self-harming.

If she ever needs to talk, be an open ear. If she ever needs to vent, be an open case for her to drop all those issues into. But remember not to let the problems dig in deep to you. Don't let them effect you except to make you want to be there for her even more. Sometimes, all someone needs is a person to talk to. And so far, you seem like you could be a great friend for her. The fact that you care enough to ask this question says a lot. Make sure she understands you care. It can help a lot. :)