friends.

[soccersam697]

So i have a friend that has recently started scratching, not cutting but he's thinking about more severe acts of self harm. he's my best friend and i want the best for him, but i don't understand the whole concept of self harm. I don't mean to sound obnoxious if thats how i come off as, but i don't understand why someone would want to do this. He isn't very open about the situation but he's told me he does do it. Any and all information would be greatly appreciated

[xXl0sth0peXx]

Honestly, most people who SH aren't very open about it.

Most people do it as a release. It's a horrible way of coping with life really. There are may reasons why one starts to SH. Stress, anger, boredom, being hurt previously, and probably tons of others. Until your friend is ready, there really isn't much you can do, except gently make sure he knows that you care. Just don't push it on him, as that won't help anyone.

[Magenta]

A lot of people don't understand self-harm so don't worry about it. You've not come off as obnoxious at all. Quite the opposite actually. It's nice that you've decided to try to take the time to get some information rather than what some people do which is make assumptions. Just remember that whatever we tell you is also based on personal experience... and it may be quite different for your friend and only they can really tell you.

Thing is, your friend will stop when they feel ready. Self-harm is a coping mechanism that, while unhealthy, does work for more people than you'd think. It's often very personal and not used for attention unless it's a situation where it's a cry for help. If he's thinking about doing anything more severe, I don't think it's one of those small cases where the person just wants a little bit more attention.

Like Val said, don't push but try to encourage more positive ways of coping such as talking or writing, if he's not comfortable saying anything aloud. Art is a great form of self-therapy as well. I started something awhile ago that was to create paper snowflakes rather than self-harming... and I found that cutting up the paper often took away the need to hurt myself. You can just offer him small suggestions if he feels stuck and just let him know he has your support and that you care.

You honestly sound like a nice friend to have.