Trust

[KillerKing]

Hey,
I just have a quick question regarding trusting your friends.
How do you know who you can trust with like, secrets and stuff. I ask because I have an extreme difficulty with trusting people. The only person I trust with everything about me is my girlfriend and if I found out she had betrayed my trust I would be devastated! I dont really have a best friend because, well because I dont know who I should trust so is there any sort of general things to look out for? I know it seems silly but I really want someone I can call my best friend.

Thanks!

[Jupiter]

Well, I have trust issues. So, I am the one who everyone knows everything about, because I tell everyone everything. You just have to make sure that they WILL keep your secrets.

[Gordo]

When you say "look out for" do you mean that like "look out for" good qualities or bad qualities.

Anyway, I'd avoid people that come running to you with gossip, cuz odds are they can't keep what you tell them in for long.

I think you should look for someone who won't tell you more than they should about someone else. Let's say you know a guy named Bill and I mentioned that , I wonder what Bill's dad does for a living because they have a nice house, cars etc and you told me, Bill said that his dad buys knock off sports wear and sells them as if they were made by the manufacturer etc. etc. and after telling me stuff for 5 min you tell me, but don't let bill know I said anything. You'd be someone who isn't that trust worthy.

On the flip side. If I noticed that you tend to do the right thing on your own. You'd earn my trust because my impression of you is that your honest and that tends to be a quality linked to trust worthy people. Say you and I are at a store and the lady in front of us doesn't realize she dropped some cash or lost an earring and your first impulse and action is to pick it up and run after her. No one would miss the fact that your honest and trust worthy.

Don't ya get a sense of the people you know? Some of your friends can't wait to mess with someone's stuff or take something that isn't theirs or rip on people that aren't around and some of them wouldn't participate in that stuff.

Let's say you me and bill hit the mall. Bill shop lifts, clearly we don't turn him in, but the next day our other friends ask bill in front of us where he got xyz. He says he bought it and we just let it go or go with it. We aren't great people, but bill knows he can trust us.

I just think we get a sense of who we can trust in a few weeks. Generous people tend to be good friends, honest, loyal.

Maybe tell someone you're considering to be a bestie something that won't devestate you if it gets out. In the mean time, think about how trust worthy you are and be the kind of trust worthy person you'd want to be friends with.

[botwa]

I simply don't trust anybody or anything such secrets that can not be revealed. I don't mention them anywhere, even in my closed blog. even in posts that are available only to me.
If I tell a secret then deep inside I know that it won't kill me if it will not be kept.
just like that.

[KillerKing]

When you say "look out for" do you mean that like "look out for" good qualities or bad qualities.

Anyway, I'd avoid people that come running to you with gossip, cuz odds are they can't keep what you tell them in for long.

I think you should look for someone who won't tell you more than they should about someone else. Let's say you know a guy named Bill and I mentioned that , I wonder what Bill's dad does for a living because they have a nice house, cars etc and you told me, Bill said that his dad buys knock off sports wear and sells them as if they were made by the manufacturer etc. etc. and after telling me stuff for 5 min you tell me, but don't let bill know I said anything. You'd be someone who isn't that trust worthy.

On the flip side. If I noticed that you tend to do the right thing on your own. You'd earn my trust because my impression of you is that your honest and that tends to be a quality linked to trust worthy people. Say you and I are at a store and the lady in front of us doesn't realize she dropped some cash or lost an earring and your first impulse and action is to pick it up and run after her. No one would miss the fact that your honest and trust worthy.

Don't ya get a sense of the people you know? Some of your friends can't wait to mess with someone's stuff or take something that isn't theirs or rip on people that aren't around and some of them wouldn't participate in that stuff.

Let's say you me and bill hit the mall. Bill shop lifts, clearly we don't turn him in, but the next day our other friends ask bill in front of us where he got xyz. He says he bought it and we just let it go or go with it. We aren't great people, but bill knows he can trust us.

I just think we get a sense of who we can trust in a few weeks. Generous people tend to be good friends, honest, loyal.

Maybe tell someone you're considering to be a bestie something that won't devestate you if it gets out. In the mean time, think about how trust worthy you are and be the kind of trust worthy person you'd want to be friends with.

Thats really helped me a lot and put things into a bit more perspective. But, it seems that there really is no one I can trust then XD All my friends seem to be ones who always gossiping etc. Byt thank you. You have helped me. Thanks.

[kenoloor]

I simply don't trust anybody or anything such secrets that can not be revealed.

Same. By nature, I'm not a secretive person. But I don't believe in the same kind of trust that most people do.

My way isn't for most people, though; Gordo nailed it.

[Spook]

If you have trouble with trust, then it probably means the people you don't feel trusting of are people that aren't worth trusting. That was a mouthful, but let me explain. Trust- in my opinion, is up to the person him/herself. Someone who you know, or care about; is trusted based on trust itself. Trust itself is the ability to put something or other in the hands of another, and feel that it is safe with them. Such as; a secret. If you have alot of trouble with this with people that you do find trust-WORTHY; then try talking about it with them. You and the person are really the only people that can work this area out; us being on a blocked side of the matter. I hope this sort of jumbled context made a little bit of sense to you. Haha. :)
~Nyra (Caitlin)

[Irishperson15]

I am lucky cause i have a best friend that i can tell anything to and ino for a FACT that he wont tell if u dont want him to say anything about it. Well basically when uve got a good friend i dnt kne jus get close to them thts what happened me and just hang out loads

[Clawhammer]

You'll know who you can trust. You just have to know the person. Takes time, but they're out there. Otherwise, meet someone online who lives on the other side of the world who you can talk to about stuff. There's plenty of those on here.

[Stronger]

I maybe take a while to trust someone, trust doesn't build over night, it takes along time to trust someone and even then who knows if you can trust them

[Rayquaza]

You need to know them really well. Someone who tells you stuff that is about them and is very close to you should be able to trust them

[UnknownError]

None of my friends really know anything secretive about me except one. I bounce around off of people and on to others so much that I never really know who my good friends are.

(That makes me sound like a horrible obnoxious person but it's true, the second I fall out with one I just go with another.) D;