Getting help and telling my parents i self harm

[Dark_Desires]

So i used to self harm scratch and then i tryed cuting myself with my nails then i moved to a razor.After a month or 2 i stoped and didnt really think of it.Last month or two i have had the urge to do it again its a battle not to think about it.I have deciced i want help and i am going to have to tell my mum.I havent told many poeple i self harm only a ex gf and a friends mum who is a social worker and is kinda helping and hasnt told my mum thank god.I dont know how i am going to talk to me mum i hate talking to people and have i guess what u would call social anxiety or some shit like that so i dont know how to do it.Do i just tell her right out or find a time to talk to her?.How have other peoples parents reacted and have thay just straight told them?.oh and i think its close to been 5 months since i last self harmed.

[northskater110]

Hey there! It's awesome to hear its been so long since the last time you self harmed. What I would do is find a time for the two of you to talk, no distractions at all. Don't beat around the bush either, tell her exactly what you feel and struggle with. From there, try to make a plan or system to prevent it from happening ever again. Don't keep these feelings inside, it is always better to let them out. Keep us informed on how it goes. And good luck!

[Blondiee]

Tell her you need to talk to her and find a quiet place to talk, maybe make her a cup of tea or something. You didnt mention why you started self harming in the first place, but use that to start the convisation. So say it was because, i dont know, you and your friend fell out or something. In that case say 'mum, I fell out with my friend a while ago, and it really upset me. So much that I started self harming. I have stopped but I have been having urges to do it again'

[xXl0sth0peXx]

Gahhh I had a beautiful reply typed out for this earlier.. It would have changed the world.. and the way people think about it.. okay not really, but still. >_<

Anyways, back to what I was going to say.
First, kudos to you for stopping. I know how hard it was, and it just goes to show how strong you are. Awesome job.

There are a few ways you could approach this. First, you could face her right on. If you do this, you need to look at the signs. Look at what's going on prior, and after you would tell her, make sure she has time and isn't in a rush. Make sure she's not stressed out, and ready to listen. Make sure she knows that what you want to talk to her about is important.

Another option is to write her a letter. I know of quite a few people who have done this, and have had much success, as it tells the parent(s) what's going on, but you don't have to tell them face to face. This sometimes can make it easier to talk to the about it after, because they know.

Third option is to have someone else tell her. I think it's great that you want her to know,but if you're really not comfortable telling her yourself, since you have other people who know, you could have someone else tell her for you.

I can't give you advice personally on how my parents reacted when I told them, as I haven't yet. But this (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=96713&highlight=Cutting) thread might help you, as it's had some nice replies to it.

Good luck, keep us updated, and keep going. I'm here if you ever need to talk. :)

[Ambrosia]

I can't give you advice personally on how my parents reacted when I told them, as I haven't yet. But this (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=96713&highlight=Cutting) thread might help you, as it's had some nice replies to it.


That thread has tons of good replies, and is a good one to read over. I hope it does help you out a little!

I have never told my parents, and I avoid telling anyone when I can. But the fact is, if you want to stop, you need support. And help. And telling your parents is a great stepping stone for that.

What you can do is, sit them down, and tell them you've been having a very rough time here lately. Tell them you want their help, because you don't know what else to do, and you know that as your parents they care and would be more than willing to help.

I wish you the best of luck with this, and always remember we are all here to help you in any time of weakness and need! :)

[XxMaymayxX]

When I told my mother I sat her down alone. It made it so much easier. I don't know your mother obviously, but just explain what is going on...and hopefully she will listen to you. :)

[Magenta]

I actually fully advocate the letter idea. The best part about that is that you don't have to be in the room when she reads it and she will read it on her own time where she's not in a rush or stressed or thinking of other things.

Congrats on how long without and for the huge step in telling your mum. This is also prolly a great time to get support because you're doing so well on your own and with the proper support, it will likely only get easier.

Whatever you do, try to keep calm about it. My father found out after I sort of, erm, screamed it at him (to which he replied 'I know') and my mother found out when I was in the hospital. From a parent's point of view, a calm child is probably a lot easier to handle because she'll likely be trying to wrap her head around what you just told her and, while you're the one asking for support, she will need a little bit of time to adjust.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope to hear how it goes. :hug:

[XxMaymayxX]

I never would have thought about a letter. But that is a very good way to make sure that she is paying attention to what you have to say as well.
Just be ready to explain yourself in person as well. Just in case.