Of Blood And Gold

[OfBloodAndGold]

This is latest piece, which I obviously decided to use as my username :P
Let me know what you think

The clouds above are raging
weighing her heart down
making her feel lifeless.

People say "stop to smell the flowers", so she does but...There's no scent Colors are fading slowly...
Life continues to pass her by,
in black and white and in the blink of an eye.

Holding a knife, she finally sees a bit of red on her arm,
you see a little bit of her life.
So, she continue on this way
Living each day for that dark, red colorand keeping this secret from others.
The cut under cover.

The person looking back at her is a stranger in the mirror.
And through those eyes are the only ones that see her clearer.
The eyes are vacant
the frown appears permanent.

Cold, sharp metal against her skin; the only thing that brings a spark back to her eyes also bringing the heart back to life.
Old pictures haunt her,
reminding her who she once was.
Who she wants to be.Who you wanna see.

So she makes her bleed....its what she needs.
Its the cure for the pain that lies in the skin of her. The enemy is in her.
It's time for her to change that now.

Her broken heart has found a missing part.
It beats now to her own drum.
She's now done with cutting.
Why take the knife?
When she just took ownership back and dignity of her life.

The sheet once black now white.
The mirror reflects what's right.
Her sanity. Her healing. Her sight.
All those times she turned left....She's now right.
She's gonna be all right.

The lines on her arm are now lines on her title track.
She looked in the mirror and took back control.
Now what she touches turns to gold

[shatter..]

Very lovely poem. Dark, in places but she seems to recover, gain more power in the end.

[Jess]

it's beautiful :) I love it

[Spook]

This is really good. I imagine that lots of us can relate. :)

[embers]

In terms of imagery, images like "stranger in the mirror", a "black sheet becoming white" are often overused. There comes a point in the timeline of literature that a phrase or distinction becomes so often used by writers that it loses its emotional connotations - one way to overcome this is to observe the way you make observations. What distinctions about your surroundings do you make? What comparison would you make that nobody else would make?

I think one of the best things about poetry is the personal voice you attach to it. It's an insight into the mind, not lines strung together from a communal bank of similes and metaphors. Touching those personalised distinctions is the primary source for what 'moves' your reader.

i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
-i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april

Sit in a room in your house. Write a poem about it - yes, I'm serious, poems don't need to tackle philosophical issues or anything - while keeping in mind the touch of personalisation. You know that room better than your neighbours or the widow who lives down the street. Thinking about how things actually look and feel like to you as opposed what already used image works best for them will be incredibly beneficial to your imagery. Improvement comes with time etc etc shit on my chest.

Keep it up.

[OfBloodAndGold]

Thanks you guys

Embers, I'm still new at this, so I appreciate your input :) I'll definitely keep this in mind.