Support?

[RAWWR]

Can I have some support please? Tonight I OD'd for the first time in 2 years and I feel absolutely pathetic. I hate myself for it.

[georgiamay]

Well hey there! :)

So you haven't OD'd in two year... That's amazing, and you should feel so proud of that. You shouldn't feel pathetic for relapsing. The truth is, relapses happen to most people. It's not like you have to start again. Sure, maybe you do go back to day one if you're counting, but you're not going back to square one. What have you been doing for the past 2 years? You've acheived so much in that time, and you must have learnt a lot as you've fought through every urge. You just can't quite remember what you've learnt when you get into a state.

It's weird how that happens. You can learn so much when you're recovering, and then you have a little lapse, and it all goes away, and there's nothing in your head that will stop you from having a full on relapse. But it's all still in there, you just don't even try and look for it. No one ever does, I know I never do. I remember every time I had a little lapse, I never bothered trying to stop myself, because part of me wanted to have a full on relapse. I'm still not sure why, but I suppose it's a similar thing.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say, is that you're not pathetic, and you don't have to start from scratch. You took a step back, but you've already take about 1000 steps forward before that.

Believe in yourself a little. If you can make it 2 years, how long will you be able to make it next time? And when you get to the point where you can feel yourself relapsing, remind yourself of why and how you held on for so long in the first place.

You know where I am if you need me :hug3:

[RAWWR]

Thankyou so much. I'm just having such a hard time right now, this year was supposed to be good and I was supposed to start getting better, but you have no idea how much shit i've been through already. Just today my 'Best friend' told me I was a 'Lying slag' and either I made up the 'sexual abuse' or I asked for it! Amazing friend she is. :(

[christcenteredlife]

od means overdose right? a true overdose would land you in the hospital.

happy your not seriously hurt and i'm sorry your in a position where you feel the need to hurt yourself.

[RAWWR]

I know! I'm so pathetic I can't even OD properly! FML.

[georgiamay]

od means overdose right? a true overdose would land you in the hospital.

Define a "true" overdose...?

Sometimes OD's can be as a way to numb yourself, not a suicide attempt. You'd be surprised how little you have to take for it to have an affect.

[Static--b0nes]

If you called a hospital taking more the prescribed dose can considered to be a overdose and it can be serious. You never know how much will be to much for your body to handle, I have many health problems from trying to commit suicide by overdosing several times and being saved or just waking up the next day but its caused some major damage. So please be safe (:

[RAWWR]

Feeling slightly better now, watching Nativity (Bob is amazing!) And talking to some REAL friends :)

[RAWWR]

And i'm straight back to feeling like shit :( I hate these mood swings.

[northskater110]

Don't worry about it, so you made a mistake. Life is full of mistake man. However, what really makes a person really strong is overcoming from those mistakes. It's great to hear that you were 2 years free, that a really bid accomplishment! What you should do from here is to try to do it again, starting today. Think of it as a competition against yourself. We know you can do it, we believe in you!