canadaski
January 9th, 2012, 07:09 PM
I really despise my mother. I don't know exactly when it started, but I have countless memories of her getting angry and yelling at everybody in the family.
The most annoying part is that everybody outside of the house thinks she's some sweet, caring and sociable person when that is far from reality.
I remember...
She physically abused my dad on several occasions
She screams and swears at my brother and I and tells us were are useless pieces of shit etc.
She always tells me I'll never get anywhere
She always tries to manipulate me with money
She yells hurtful comments about me being gay just to use as an insult
I have trouble making friends (shy) and she takes advantage of this fact by saying "oh, that why you have no friends" or "that's why all of your friends left you."
She never apologizes even when she knows she has done something wrong.
She has such a superiority complex and thinks she's so successful when in reality no career choice she has ever made has worked out for her.
All this is among several other things that I can't remember at the moment. She always has a condescending tone and talks to you like you're worthless scum.
She had a breakdown once and stayed in the mental ward at the hospital for a few weeks. That's odd because it seems as though every hour of every day is a mental breakdown.
To put it simply, there is so much stuff she has done to make it easy for me to hate her. I just have to wait about 9 months until I can move out of the house if I choose and break off most contact.
Here's my real question. Everybody has a breaking point. The problem is, when I reach my breaking point I explode. I find it very hard not to yell and swear something at her when she is screaming at me. Sometimes I just have to create some movement and so I punch a door or cabinet or whatever else is around. Sure it hurts, but it feels great letting off steam even if I injure myself.
How can I keep my cool through intense verbal abuse? Nothing I do ever has any effect on her attitude so I try and not say anything most of the time but stuff always slips out when she raises her voice.
I started yoga about a month ago and it really helps ease the shit away until I come home and have more shit. As I write this that crazy freak is screaming in the background threatening to leave.
How do I deal with this?
The most annoying part is that everybody outside of the house thinks she's some sweet, caring and sociable person when that is far from reality.
I remember...
She physically abused my dad on several occasions
She screams and swears at my brother and I and tells us were are useless pieces of shit etc.
She always tells me I'll never get anywhere
She always tries to manipulate me with money
She yells hurtful comments about me being gay just to use as an insult
I have trouble making friends (shy) and she takes advantage of this fact by saying "oh, that why you have no friends" or "that's why all of your friends left you."
She never apologizes even when she knows she has done something wrong.
She has such a superiority complex and thinks she's so successful when in reality no career choice she has ever made has worked out for her.
All this is among several other things that I can't remember at the moment. She always has a condescending tone and talks to you like you're worthless scum.
She had a breakdown once and stayed in the mental ward at the hospital for a few weeks. That's odd because it seems as though every hour of every day is a mental breakdown.
To put it simply, there is so much stuff she has done to make it easy for me to hate her. I just have to wait about 9 months until I can move out of the house if I choose and break off most contact.
Here's my real question. Everybody has a breaking point. The problem is, when I reach my breaking point I explode. I find it very hard not to yell and swear something at her when she is screaming at me. Sometimes I just have to create some movement and so I punch a door or cabinet or whatever else is around. Sure it hurts, but it feels great letting off steam even if I injure myself.
How can I keep my cool through intense verbal abuse? Nothing I do ever has any effect on her attitude so I try and not say anything most of the time but stuff always slips out when she raises her voice.
I started yoga about a month ago and it really helps ease the shit away until I come home and have more shit. As I write this that crazy freak is screaming in the background threatening to leave.
How do I deal with this?