AppealToReason
January 9th, 2012, 03:45 AM
Whine whine whine whine whine.
God, I'm tired of losing family and friends. I lost so many last year due to the stupidest shit. People who were better than me, had better futures or were more important than me. I lost my uncle to cancer and now his kids get to grow up without a father. My friend to a fucking drive-by. A.fucking.drive-by. My step-brother died from god knows what on Friday. My step-brother, from a dad that I can't stand to look at, didn't even get to make it to a year old. 7 months old. 7 fucking months old and he dies. Why? He didn't get a chance to make mistakes or hurt himself/others. He didn't fuck other people's lives up. He was a fucking pathetic leech to society, but I am, so why does he have to die and I get to live when I've been wishing for death for so long?
Dammit, I have 5 hours until I have to get up to go to school and put on a fake smile and fake laugh and fake attitude to fake people for another fucking day. This is pointless. Being here is pointless. I should have been asleep hours ago, but the pills aren't working, so I'll have to take more tomorrow. Slowly killing myself it seems.
God, I feel like I'm going to break down in class tomorrow. How the hell am I supposed to be calm knowing I lost my second brother?
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Whine Whine Whine Whine Whine
/rant
God, I'm tired of losing family and friends. I lost so many last year due to the stupidest shit. People who were better than me, had better futures or were more important than me. I lost my uncle to cancer and now his kids get to grow up without a father. My friend to a fucking drive-by. A.fucking.drive-by. My step-brother died from god knows what on Friday. My step-brother, from a dad that I can't stand to look at, didn't even get to make it to a year old. 7 months old. 7 fucking months old and he dies. Why? He didn't get a chance to make mistakes or hurt himself/others. He didn't fuck other people's lives up. He was a fucking pathetic leech to society, but I am, so why does he have to die and I get to live when I've been wishing for death for so long?
Dammit, I have 5 hours until I have to get up to go to school and put on a fake smile and fake laugh and fake attitude to fake people for another fucking day. This is pointless. Being here is pointless. I should have been asleep hours ago, but the pills aren't working, so I'll have to take more tomorrow. Slowly killing myself it seems.
God, I feel like I'm going to break down in class tomorrow. How the hell am I supposed to be calm knowing I lost my second brother?
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Whine Whine Whine Whine Whine
/rant