Not sure of my sexual orientation

[silpae]

Hello, I am new here and I hope this ends up in the good place. Also, my English is not great but I hope you understand me.

I am a sixteen year old female and I can’t figure out my sexuality.

All my life I was pretty sure I was straight, but there were some period of times when I doubted it. At the age of 12-13, I felt attracted to females, but never sexually. It was enough for me to confirm my “straightness” and the idea of me being lesbian never came back.

Since last year though, I’ve been really attracted to that one girl. It is not really sexual (like, I don’t want to have sex with her) but I can picture myself kissing her and being in a relationship with her. In fact, I would love to be able to date her. When I talk to her, I feel so happy and my heart starts to beat like crazy. I know I love her, but I don’t know (or understand) how.

I know it sounds crazy, but I've never met her in real life. I only talk to her online, but I am planning on seeing her in a couple of years (or less, if I am lucky!). I think she knows about my attraction to her and I am guessing she doesn't mind. Problem is that I don't know if the attraction is reciprocal.

To be quite frank, I’ve never picture myself having sexual intercourse with someone, no matter their gender. Sex does not appeal to me at all. On the other hand, I watch gay (two males) porn quite frequently but it can easily become boring. Sex itself is not the reason why I watch it. I guess it is because it’s different.

Also, I don’t really masturbate. The idea of touching myself in such a way doesn’t appeal to me, either. To say the truth, I think it is gross (but I don’t judge those doing it). I don’t feel the urge to release some sexual tension, or however it is called.

So what can be my sexuality, if I have one?

[Fiction]

What sex can you visualise yourself doing the most with?

Or is it the same for both sexes?

I guess those are the real questions. My advice would be to "go with the flow" as it where. Let relationships happen as they happen, whether it's with males or females. Do what you feel is right, and you'll soon figure it out.

[silpae]

I don't see myself with either gender. I just don't and can't see myself having sex with anyone or anything.

[Fiction]

Then you could be asexual. That means you are just not sexually attractive to either sex. It's a perfectly normal and natural sexuality, just like any other.

[starbrite5]

To me, it sounds like you're asexual. I recommend asexuality.org and the AVEN wiki. They're great resources if you're looking for answers.