jawds
January 8th, 2012, 09:37 AM
Oh yes, the title is very much true. I believe my life so far has shown me nothing but pain. Sometimes, there is happiness, but I know it'll just lead to sadness. I just feel like telling people about my life right now.
I was born in Russia, moved to Canada at age four. Moved to British Columbia to be exact, then around age 9-10 I moved to Alberta. My father was a very horrible man. He was a very heavy drinker, and he occasionally hit and beat myself and my three brothers. He loved to torture us. We did get the belt, but he did not hit our bottoms, he only hit our stomachs. At one time I was sexually abused by my father, that day he tied me up to something metal in the basement and left me there for hours, then sent me to bed without getting any food that day. The abuse got to the point where my older brother ran away to his friend's house at age 12 and lived there till graduation. He eventually moved out. Haven't seen much of him since.
One dreadful day (I try not to remember the exact date) my dad made my two younger brothers and I go out for a drive while my dad was piss drunk. Got a feeling where this is heading? You got it. We ended up in the ditch, after spinning out and having the back end of the car violently hit against an oncoming semi. Sadly, one of my brothers died instantly while my youngest brother was seriously injured and eventually passed on. My dad and I, however, were okay. All my dad suffered was two broken legs and six years in jail. He'll be getting out in May this year. It'll be the end of me.
Sadly enough I'm still not finished. My mother and I were the only ones in the household until 2009 she died of a stroke. I was the one who found her body. She was the best damned person in my life, not an hour goes by where I don't think of her. She, just like my siblings, was cremated and the ashes were scattered in the ocean near Vancouver BC. Just this Christmas I went to visit the site where I put the ashes. I spent a total of nine hours sitting on a rock staring into the ocean, not only thinking of my mother, but my two brothers.
Now I am living on my own with three pets. I am desperately seeking a roommate, since I have epilepsy. I should not be alone in situations where I am having a seizure. I also have Crohn's disease, and I just had surgery where they removed part of my small intestine due to a blockage.
I miss everyone. I feel like I have no one in my life now, except a few online friends. One in particular keeps me from doing anything stupid. She's my best friend, I think of her as family. I always go to her for help, but I do bother her too much about my life. Ryanne, if you're reading this, you have no friggin' idea how awesome you are to me. I love ya, man.
Over n' out.
I was born in Russia, moved to Canada at age four. Moved to British Columbia to be exact, then around age 9-10 I moved to Alberta. My father was a very horrible man. He was a very heavy drinker, and he occasionally hit and beat myself and my three brothers. He loved to torture us. We did get the belt, but he did not hit our bottoms, he only hit our stomachs. At one time I was sexually abused by my father, that day he tied me up to something metal in the basement and left me there for hours, then sent me to bed without getting any food that day. The abuse got to the point where my older brother ran away to his friend's house at age 12 and lived there till graduation. He eventually moved out. Haven't seen much of him since.
One dreadful day (I try not to remember the exact date) my dad made my two younger brothers and I go out for a drive while my dad was piss drunk. Got a feeling where this is heading? You got it. We ended up in the ditch, after spinning out and having the back end of the car violently hit against an oncoming semi. Sadly, one of my brothers died instantly while my youngest brother was seriously injured and eventually passed on. My dad and I, however, were okay. All my dad suffered was two broken legs and six years in jail. He'll be getting out in May this year. It'll be the end of me.
Sadly enough I'm still not finished. My mother and I were the only ones in the household until 2009 she died of a stroke. I was the one who found her body. She was the best damned person in my life, not an hour goes by where I don't think of her. She, just like my siblings, was cremated and the ashes were scattered in the ocean near Vancouver BC. Just this Christmas I went to visit the site where I put the ashes. I spent a total of nine hours sitting on a rock staring into the ocean, not only thinking of my mother, but my two brothers.
Now I am living on my own with three pets. I am desperately seeking a roommate, since I have epilepsy. I should not be alone in situations where I am having a seizure. I also have Crohn's disease, and I just had surgery where they removed part of my small intestine due to a blockage.
I miss everyone. I feel like I have no one in my life now, except a few online friends. One in particular keeps me from doing anything stupid. She's my best friend, I think of her as family. I always go to her for help, but I do bother her too much about my life. Ryanne, if you're reading this, you have no friggin' idea how awesome you are to me. I love ya, man.
Over n' out.