Coming Out Options/Scenarios

[CrossingtheCourtyard]

I spent a great deal of the past, oh, five or six years debating my own sexuality. This summer I came to the realization that I am bisexual, and I have accepted that. I intend to try and come out to my family and friends this year and I am trying to think of the best way to do it. I've come up with a few ideas and would like some opinions on them.

Option A "A Group Gathering"
I thought I might try and get some of my close family members to come over to my house and just tell them there. I would invite the ones who's opinions matter most to me so that I can get it all done at once. That would reduce a lot of stress for me. It has the potential to turn into a huge clusterfuck, but it could also potentially prevent a scene from being made because there a bunch of other people present. It's also a bit less personal and I won't be able to get that whole 'one on one touchy-feely talk' from individuals.

Option B "One by One"
I could also go and tell people one by one (or in smaller groups), most likely in-person and in private. This option would be a bit harder for me because it means that I have to go through the whole nervous, anxious, I'mgoingtovomitanddiefromanxiety feelings each time. On the plus side I'll have to opportunity to have a bit of a personal chat with each one.

Option C "Shock Them"
So, say I have a boyfriend in the future and I haven't told my family or friends anything other than the fact that I'm dating someone. Say my family say's they "Want to meet the lucky girl" ...and I bring them a boy. Awkward and not just for me, but for my family and the person I'm dating.

Option D "Phone/Email"
This is very impersonal, but I could send multiple emails out, or phone people. Probably not the best idea. Like, at all ...but at least I could end the conversation quickly.

Any help, suggestions, advice, ect. is welcome and would be really, really, really appreciated.

[Misfit]

Here's how I see it...
'Option A' would be a poor choice due to the fact that people may ask a lot of questions which may quickly become overwhelming and like you said it has the potential to become "a large clusterfuck."

'Option B' In my opinion is the best was to go about it. While this method is obviously very time consuming it allows you to go at you're own pace and to focus on that one person one by one, this allows for all that touchy feely stuff which may not be some people cup of tea but there's no denying in many cases it has served to strengthen relationships between friends/family. The vast majority of gay/bi people who I've met have used this method, hell they cant all be wrong can they?

'Option C' The way I see it coming out to family and friends should be done as gently as possible, option c is in no way gentle.

'Option D' A few of my gay/bi friends used this as a starting stage to coming out because they just could not say it to their faces, After they had told one or two people via text/calling they claimed they had mustered enough courage to tell people face to face.

Again these are just my opinions and im sure there are many out there with differing views. Also I apologise if my sentence structure/Grammar seems poor, I am current on holidays from school and I believe it has deteriorated through lack of me giving a shit.

Lastly I hope all the best to you, coming out is obviously a very difficult time but once you are out you are free to be you without restraint. <3

-Aphex

[Biscuithead13]

To me option B is by far the best option for you. If it were me in that situation I would want to start by telling the people I trust most. But, I would also want to be able to sit down and have a long talk about it, and if you do it one by one, although time consuming, it allows you to think and react appropriately to the other persons feelings about it, and the other person has a chance to think about it instead of just having them thrown at them all of the sudden, which is kinda what you would be doing in the other choices you mentioned. Just take your time and hope it all gos well :)