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Spook
January 6th, 2012, 12:31 PM
I have a story to tell you guys (storytime! :lol: ). In all seriousness, I have pushed this story away myself for years and years, but I have to get it off my chest now, because I don't know how to handle it anymore. Sorry for the length, but thank you if you read it.
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Nikhil Sharma is my best friend Naomi's brother, and he has been my worst enemy since I turned 8 years old. As toddlers, the Sharma's moved in to the neighborhood, and Nikhil; being the same age, became my fast friend. We were best friends until I saw him picking on his sister who was 2 years younger than both of us. I stuck up for her, and I hung out with both of them for a while. Nikhil got jealous of the new add-on to our play group, and he began to bully Naomi more than ever. I just couldn't stand watching him pick on her, though. I finally stopped playing with him alltogether; but he didn't give up.

Now when I tried to play with Naomi, he would follow us, search for us, and bully BOTH of us. Our playtime receded to running and hiding, and being quiet so he wouldn't hear us. He honestly scared us, though it sounds like fun and games, the average boy-on-girl chase. But no. As we got older, the bullying by Nikhil got less verbal, and more physical. Pushing, pulling hair, kicking, and punching became part of the "game." This only made us run faster, fear him more. I would come home crying when he hurt me, but I tried to not tell my parents, because I knew they wouldn't let me go to Naomi's house again. I couldn't let them do that and let her be home with him all the time. I sort of felt a responsibility to her when Nikhil was away.

I was kind of like a mother to Naomi, though she called it being 'bossy.' Though, Naomi and I were together more and more and we soon became inseperable. It killed me though, when Nikhil got to us again. He messed with her, hurt her; and because he was no longer small anymore (he was tall and heavy) I couldn't do anything. I just stood their helpless when she was crying; and there was no way to help, nobody to tell. We spent long hours creating plans to hide from him, to hide our valuables, to keep him as far away as possible.

After about two years of this, Naomi and I finally decided to tell my parents. They said to keep away from him, but nothing more. After he continued to follow us and hurt us, we came to my parents once again. The outcome was how I had expeted it to be in the beginning. Me dad freaked out, and scheduled a 'meeting' with the Sharma's, in which we created a 'contract' that stated we were not to be around each other at any time, and if one of us was in an area first, the other had to leave. This just set down a harsher basis for Nikhil's bullying. The contract gave him the privelage of kicking me out of places, like the public pool.

After getting kicked out of several places, one day Naomi and I walked into the public pool where Nikhil was with his mom and friend. Nikhil told me he was here first, and that I had to leave. I put my foot down finally, but his mom backed him up. "Look, the contract said we weren't to be in the same room as each other, but Ms. Sharma; this is a PUBLIC pool, and I live in this neighborhood. I won't go in your house, but I can go in this pool, and I will." I then walked away, and jumped into the water. Ms. Sharma was speechless. So...you can see; that was basically the end of the contract. Not that we followed it anyways.

As we got even older, Nikhil's abuse changed once again from physical...to sexual. At first, it was more along the lines of curiosity. He would unlock the bathroom door with a penny and look while I took a shower, he would ask me to take my pants off, he would try to see me changing. Even older we got, and it became touching. He would grab at my breasts, try to squeeze my butt, and touch me in other places. I always hit his hand away, feeling very uncomfortable around him. Our chase became more of a walk as he whistled at me from the windows.

Naomi payed no heed, I guess she didn't believe really what he was doing to me-- what it was like. She still doesn't, really. She tells me to just push him away. She demands for me not to tell her parents; either. I ccan't even really talk to her. I'm so stuck, I don't know what to do. I'm not really sure if it's sexual abuse because he never actually did anything more; but it makes me feel scared and uncomfortable.

The sexual bullying is recent. When he isn't grabbing at me; he makes dirty jokes, and he once asked me to have sex with him when we were doing a game of man hunt. We were hiding in one of the bedrooms, and he asked to have sex, and said that he could 'finish fast.' I was kind of scared, he's the kind of person that gives you the feeling of danger, that he can easily rape you.

I'm not sure if this is even abuse or not, because he hasn't really tried to have sex or anything. Am I right?

Anselmo
January 6th, 2012, 02:28 PM
I think it's more curiosity than abuse. I've done it too,when i was younger, to the girl i trusted the most, but only once...

If this happen regularly, i advise you to tell you parents and Nikhil's parents, before he goes any further than touching

screamtobeheard
January 6th, 2012, 02:32 PM
First off, I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's definitely bullying, since that's anything that makes you feel scared or unsafe. And I'm pretty sure bullying is classified as abuse. And since it's abuse with a sexual connotation, I think it would be considered sexual abuse. I could be wrong, but that's my opinion. I apologize for my sentence fragmentation. I kind of thought through this as I was typing it out.

In any case, I think you should definitely avoid contact with him if it's at all possible, since no one seems to be helping you with this.

xDarkAngelx
January 6th, 2012, 06:11 PM
Sorry to read what you are going through. I agree with Amanda and think that it is sexual abuse.
All I can suggest is telling your parents about what has been going on or try and avoid contact with him before it possibly gets much worse.

helloagain97
January 7th, 2012, 01:16 PM
i think this was just a case of curiosity at the start but then as he persisted you did not try to stop this as much as you could have so then he became bolder and bolder with his actions. i think you might just have to seperate your self from the picture for a ittle while and be firmer with your actions im verry sorry if this as offended you in any way :) im just trying to help

OzGirlRachael
January 28th, 2012, 05:18 AM
thats hard. you dont want to lose ur friend but hes getting worse and worse. maybe u need to tell an adult about it even if it means losing ur friend

JJSSHH
February 14th, 2012, 11:23 PM
This sounds like sexual harassment, which is illegal in most countries. Reach out and get help please, even if its uncomfortable.

Spook
February 21st, 2012, 09:48 AM
Thanks guys- I haven't seen him in a while so there's not much I can really do unless it happens again. :(

Thebrat217
February 27th, 2012, 10:14 PM
I think hes curious i go through thid to and i know how it feels sometimes u should tell and others u should ignore. I some times take it as a compliment and well others is sexal abuse.Im srry ur goung through this.lots of luv <3 Bye. Bye

Spook
February 29th, 2012, 01:42 PM
I wouldn't take it as a compliment. Sometimes he grabs my butt and touches me....and other times he calls me an ugly bitch. :/

panick
March 2nd, 2012, 11:58 AM
For sure he is curious and for sure he doesnt know how to handle his strength as he is in puberty he acts more spontaneously. He is also reactive. By this I mean that the more you seem to disapprove of him the most he continues. He also may like you and want you because you are his best girlfriend and due to puberty curiosity he mixes the erotic senses. Regarding bullying if you want to be his friend you have to find the root cause this happens.
Finally if you think you cant do anything just avoid him as more as you can.
PS My personal thought. You know better than anyone what to do because you know him personally.

Truth
March 31st, 2012, 10:53 PM
I wouldn't take it as a compliment. Sometimes he grabs my butt and touches me....and other times he calls me an ugly bitch. :/ That is sexual abuse. If you do not tell someone, so he can get some help... some girl is going to be brutally raped by him, possibly murdered, one day. I guarantee you 100%. That is exactly what he is shaping into, and the only way you can help him or yourself is by telling an adult in an authority position.

Abnormal
June 2nd, 2012, 04:27 PM
That is sexual abuse. If you do not tell someone, so he can get some help... some girl is going to be brutally raped by him, possibly murdered, one day. I guarantee you 100%. That is exactly what he is shaping into, and the only way you can help him or yourself is by telling an adult in an authority position.

Exactly. If you don't stop him sooner or later he is going to end up either raping or killing you. This isn't an overreaction, this is me speaking from the many similar stories I've heard of guys like this. Please, do something. If your parents won't listen, the police will. Get the law involved and no one can brush anything off.