Constantly being told I'm a fuckup

[maramara]

I missed my bus this morning, and my mom had to drive me to school. I told her I didn't really know my bus route. This lead to a 30 minute rant on how I was irresponsible, didn't pay attention, didn't know anything and would never get anywhere in life. I hate it whenever she opens her mouth, all that spills out is how big of a disappointment I am. I want to shake her.

[mcadams1992]

then prove her wrong so she doesnt have that effect on you

[maramara]

I keep trying, but it doesn't matter what I do. She always finds something wrong with me

[melia_allen]

Hun, all you really can do is take it. Just let it go in one ear and out the other. I was in the same situation. And maybe they are seeing themselves in you and they don't want you to make the same mistakes as them so.....yeah i could be wrong. But, please don't take it to heart.

[maramara]

I try not to. It just gets so goddamn repetitive. I don't even want her to speak to me sometimes. I love her, she's my mom, but she makes me feel like shit. She gets pissed when I ignore her.

[Spook]

Have you tried to tell her that...what you just told us? Maybe she doesn't realize that.

[maramara]

Everything I say is in one ear and out the other. I'm always wrong. It's super frustrating.

[melia_allen]

no, she doesn't like that you are correct because then she would be wrong....so instead of admitting it she tries to put you down...

[maramara]

Exactly. And my stepdad just reinforces it. Sometimes, idk, it just feels like I can never win

[melia_allen]

yeah but see i come from a home of an alcoholic step dad and a spinless mother and two younger brothers( that i raised) and my step dad put me down all the time i finally got "smart " and would calmly tell him that i was about to blow up and i would walk away and because i was acting like an adult he got even more mad and would chase me and keep "egging" on the argument......then i would just wait till he was done ranting and I would just agree and apologize. then ask to be left alone....and it worked at times...others i would just text or call my mom and tell her that i was going for a walk....

[maramara]

That's usually what I do too. My mom's like a puppet on his strings, and my best tactic is to avoid them or just wait for them to be finished and apologize for the umpteenth time. I go for walks to clear my head and just try to keep my mouth shut. I'm just waiting for the solace of an empty house. I really hate feeling so worthless.

[Anselmo]

idk, it just feels like I can never win

Don't bother to win... if you win you mom will be like "OK" and then she goes away like if nothing special happened....it happens to me all the time...

[melia_allen]

yeah i know how you feel. umm are you in the US? if so look up Job Corps and look at it. It will get you out of the house and you can get a job and all of this stuff it has helped me a lot.

[maramara]

I don't want to "win" necessarily, I just don't want to feel like such an idiot all the time. It sucks. And, they wouldn't let me get a job or get out of the house much, they like to lock me away.

[melia_allen]

lol sam ewith mine but i ran away last summer and got put on probation and i was living with friends and got a job and then i heard about job corps and i took the oppertunity and i am glad that i did

[Anselmo]

Help your mom with chores ....prove to her that you are helpful and responsable... maybe this way, she'll let you get out of the house

[melia_allen]

i tried that and that got me no where my step dad just kept telling me to do more...and more and more

[maramara]

It's just a constant cycle of "you fucked up" and "i'm sorry" and "you're a disappointment". it sucks. and yeah, i'm just expected to clean the house and yadda yadda yadda

[melia_allen]

lol yep i know what you mean and i am sorry. i would honestly look into Job Corps