Choice?

[Thunduhbuhlt]

Well, my friend is gay and she is very open about it on Facebook and stuff and a pastor's wife commented on a post about her being gay and said that it is a sin and that she isn't living for Jesus. I, supported her and felt very disturbed that she would interfere. Anyways, Is being gay a choice, or is it something else? I don't really understand and am fighting between a sin and my belief...

Anyone help?

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[Jupiter]

well, it's scientifically proven that you are born gay. And the more boys your mom has, the more chances they will be gay.. I really don't know what it is for girls, but I'mm sure it's not a choice for them, either, considering we don't choose to be straight.

[Benbomber]

I am not gay, but I think that it is not a choice, but something you are put into. You can change it a little, but like said above, you are in a way born into it. Don't know if that helps

[Wakesetter03]

I'm not Christian or catholic, so my knowledge of the bible is limited.
As far as I can see, in Catholicism homes homosexuality is not accepted, and that's very hypocritical, as is the catholic way.
I find that christianity projects the idea that if there is proper love in a relationship that it doesn't matter if it's a same sex relationship, but of this I'm not sure.
Homosexuality is not a choice, it is how you are born.
How can the catholic church sprout that you must love thy fellow man and woman, yet condemn you just because you were born differently?
That's not a very loving god, and I believe that it contradicts with the faiths beliefs of a loving god.
My cousin is gay, her girlfriend comes from a highly religeous family, and their catholic church accepts her as she is a good person and loves her partner.
Any catholic priest or pastors wife who says differently is a hypocrite.
If you believe in god, you should believe that god loves all of his people.
Why would he condemn them for something they can't control?
If I were you I'd stick to my faith, and take more value from what I can do to be a better person in the name of my god, and not exactly what the bible says.

[Tyberz]

I believe homosexuality is a choice. There have been gay people, who after seeing their lifestyle hurt others chose to change and became straight. I am no expert at this but I believe homosexual tendencies rise from an un met subconscious need that can only be filled by a parental figure. If that parental figure does not provide that need, then that person may have a subconsciously confused view of how to fill that need, and one way may be confused with trying to get that need met with a same sex spouse. That is just my opinion of homosexuality. I believe that they are just like 100% of this world and are bonded by sin, which creates the conditions of homosexuality.

[Thunduhbuhlt]

Even though this is my post...I strongly disagree.

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[Wakesetter03]

Even though this is my post...I strongly disagree.

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Disagree with what?

[Thunduhbuhlt]

I believe homosexuality is a choice. There have been gay people, who after seeing their lifestyle hurt others chose to change and became straight. I am no expert at this but I believe homosexual tendencies rise from an un met subconscious need that can only be filled by a parental figure. If that parental figure does not provide that need, then that person may have a subconsciously confused view of how to fill that need, and one way may be confused with trying to get that need met with a same sex spouse. That is just my opinion of homosexuality. I believe that they are just like 100% of this world and are bonded by sin, which creates the conditions of homosexuality.

With this post

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[AppealToReason]

I believe homosexuality is a choice. There have been gay people, who after seeing their lifestyle hurt others chose to change and became straight.

I have never seen any gay person change to being straight for themselves, only from the pressure of religion, family, or society. I believe that since they are not changing for themselves but rather other people, they will eventually give in and accept their sexuality in time. Personally, I don't believe being gay is a choice and no one should be hurt if someone is gay. Trying to pretend to be something you're not will eventually bite you in the ass.

[sieg]

I agree with ncdinc97, being gay isn't a choice. It's been proven dozens of times and all that mumbo jumbo about a missing parental figure is full of stuff. just think about it for a moment.

[Wakesetter03]

Couldn't agree more. That post was insulting to me as a straight person because I have people in my extended family who are gay. Ignorance disgusts me.

[Thunduhbuhlt]

They should really put a "like" or " thanks" button on here. Thank you guys!

[AppealToReason]

They should really put a "like" or " thanks" button on here. Thank you guys!

That's what rep is for. :P

[Tyberz]

I agree with ncdinc97, being gay isn't a choice. It's been proven dozens of times and all that mumbo jumbo about a missing parental figure is full of stuff. just think about it for a moment.

I have thought about it for a while. Homosexuality didn't get a big rise until 1960's, 1970's, the time women became more independent, the time divorce rates start going up, the time families are no longer complete. I disagree on "it being proven" that family structure doesn't contribute. When we live in a society (USA) where 50 % of people believe in marriage, its no sunrise why the number of people who claim to be homosexual goes up.

[Thunduhbuhlt]

The sudden jump in homosexuality was not* because of women's independence, but because it was more acceptable and more tolerated, as it is today...

[Tyberz]

Why the sudden change in tolerance? If thosw people were always born gay, then why did this tolerance not rise up hundreds of years ago, especially when its seems to become such a large population?

It was not women's independence but the fact that the family structure started to fall apart because the husband wife relationship grew strained as women joined the same playing field as the men.

[Wakesetter03]

Why the sudden change in tolerance? If thosw people were always born gay, then why did this tolerance not rise up hundreds of years ago, especially when its seems to become such a large population?

It was not women's independence but the fact that the family structure started to fall apart because the husband wife relationship grew strained as women joined the same playing field as the men.

So you would disagree that because of the way homosexuality was accepted back as recently as the 80's would not cause people to fake their true feelings and pretend to be straight?
These days it's so much more tolerant, in previous times it could be dangerous parading your sexuality as anything but straight.
I know many people with great families who once they were older and homosexuality became more encouraged, they left their heterosexual relationships and pursued their true feelings.
It is not a choice.

[Tyberz]

My question is that if so many people are "born" homosexual then why was it not tolerated way before* Why was it seemingly coincidental to the collapse of family structure?

[Thunduhbuhlt]

Just another domino effect. If someone tells everyone of their sexuality and it is accepted by the general population, others will see and do the same.

[Thunduhbuhlt]

Also think about the 1950's and the baby boom. Couples were having more kids. In fact my great grandparents had 18 kids, some of which are gay. More kids = higher chance of being homosexual at birth.

[Wakesetter03]

My question is that if so many people are "born" homosexual then why was it not tolerated before. Why was it seemingly coincidental to the collapse of family structure?

Because back during those times religion held a stronger position in society, and many religeons believed it to be a sin. Back as far as the 80s if your religion said to jump, you asked how high.
These days where religion is loosely based on people's beliefs instead of "holy scriptures" people can see that homosexuality can make people happy, isn't that what really matters?
So now if you are gay, generally homophobia is starting to get removed from decent society, and people who are gay don't have to worry about what others may do to them just for the way they were born.
Family structures would only have something to do with sexuality in few cases. Ie, daughters who had abusive fathers may feel more comfortable with women and as a reflex believe they are gay. This can be fleeting, unless true feelings about the same sex were occurring.

[Tyberz]

People in earlier centuries had lots of kids, yet the tolerance of Gays seems to come at the time of the family collapse.

Just to let you know, I have nothing against homosexual people, I just believe they choose that lifestyle.

Your post brings up the morality issue. I am going to use an extreme example to help illustrate my point and what you have said. Just because something makes someone happy, it doesn't mean its necessarily good for them. Serial killers have enjoyed killing people, does that mean we should tolerate innocent deaths? ( like I said, this would be an extreme example) But it goes along what peoples morals are, if people CHOOSE to.no longer their morals then it is their CHOICE to live a certain lifestyle. People became gay when they saw that they no longer had to live by a strict moral principle.

[Thunduhbuhlt]

If that is fact, the parental thing, then why is my cousin a girl with a great life and a loving family lesbian? She has both parents and siblings who are straight.

[Wakesetter03]

People in earlier centuries had lots of kids, yet the tolerance of Gays seems to come at the time of the family collapse.

Just to let you know, I have nothing against homosexual people, I just believe they choose that lifestyle.

Homosexuality has nothing to do with people not believing in marriage. You can not believe in marriage and still have a heterosexual relationship.
Also, what will be your excuse when gay marriage is legalized?
I know you may not be intentionally doing it, but I'm sure a majority of gay people would disagree with you, and be very insulted. They have had to deal the card they were dealt, and to say they chose that lifestyle really makes their struggle seem like nothing at all.

[AppealToReason]

Just to let you know, I have nothing against homosexual people, I just believe they choose that lifestyle.

Why would anyone choose to be gay? You don't think we at some point wanted to be straight and failed? You think we like being looked down upon and treated negatively because of our sexual preference? Seriously, if it were a choice, I wouldn't choose to have any thoughts about guys. I tried, I failed. If it were a damn choice, I would choose to be straight and have less to worry about, but I can't and don't believe anyone can.

[Ambrosia]

This is a bit more Sexuality related. :arrow:

[Tyberz]

Why would anyone choose to be gay? You don't think we at some point wanted to be straight and failed? You think we like being looked down upon and treated negatively because of our sexual preference? Seriously, if it were a choice, I wouldn't choose to have any thoughts about guys. I tried, I failed. If it were a damn choice, I would choose to be straight and have less to worry about, but I can't and don't believe anyone can.


It's the lack of Faith that causes you to fail. People who were gay have changed and are living happy lives.

It's not just marriage, its the system of which we live by, an emotional system of attachment that is created through a sexual interaction, which creates a strong base for a family to be born from.

Many things have exceptions, your cousin may be one.

People may have a subconscious confusion, although they may not consciously choose they are gay at first , they accept as who they are instead of getting to the root of why they subconsciously became gay, what drove them toward a homosexual direction.

[Carlyle]

Honestly, I have a simple question. If being gay was a choice, why would so many of us choose it? Surely we don't want so much drama or anything, otherwise the obvious answer would be to stay straight.

[Thunduhbuhlt]

Why would anyone choose to be gay? You don't think we at some point wanted to be straight and failed? You think we like being looked down upon and treated negatively because of our sexual preference? Seriously, if it were a choice, I wouldn't choose to have any thoughts about guys. I tried, I failed. If it were a damn choice, I would choose to be straight and have less to worry about, but I can't and don't believe anyone can.

Thank you, a genuine statement.

[AppealToReason]

It's the lack of Faith that causes you to fail. People who were gay have changed and are living happy lives.


Faith? In what? God?
Trust me, I had faith. After getting beaten by my cousin and still not feeling any different, I decided faith is shit and stopped lying to myself. Which is what anyone who believes they are now suddenly straight is doing, lying to them self.
Guarantee they won't be straight in the next few years.

[mosin1942]

for as many studies that will say they scientifically proved that it is NOT a choice there will be just as many that say they scientifically proved it IS a choice, with a little bit of clever manipulation and wording scientific results can be made to say just about anything, in the end it doesn't seem to really matter whether or nto it is something in the brain, because a person can still make the choice to defy their nature, i have known many people who have chosen to defy their nature (in other words they had feelings for the same sex but they chose to ignore the feelings and to live life for Christ anyways, and i've seen several get in committed relationships with girls, i've known a few married couples where one of the people had struggled against it, chose to go against their nature, and they are incredibly happy and satisfied with their marriage), in the end, a lot of things that are bad are part of human nature, and several can be induced by hormone and chemical imbalances, but the individual always has the choice of whether to obey those urges, or to stand firm against these urges

[Wakesetter03]

It's the lack of Faith that causes you to fail. People who were gay have changed and are living happy lives.

It's not just marriage, its the system of which we live by, an emotional system of attachment that is created through a sexual interaction, which creates a strong base for a family to be born from.

Many things have exceptions, your cousin may be one.

People may have a subconscious confusion, although they may not consciously choose they are gay at first , they accept as who they are instead of getting to the root of why they subconsciously became gay, what drove them toward a homosexual direction.

So obviously you're religious then?

As the others have said, why would they choose to go through the ridicule and abuse? Honestly, how can you believe people would want that?
They have to go through so much to be happy with the way they are born, and people like you come along and make the struggle they have to go through seem so insignificant? It's ignorant of you to make assumptions like that. I have so much respect for those who are gay who say screw society and follow their feelings to make them happy.

[Wakesetter03]

Faith? In what? God?
Trust me, I had faith. After getting beaten by my cousin and still not feeling any different, I decided faith is shit and stopped lying to myself. Which is what anyone who believes they are now suddenly straight is doing, lying to them self.
Guarantee they won't be straight in the next few years.

This hits the nail on the head. As I said in one of my previous posts, how many people these days have broken heterosexual relationships to follow a homosexual relationship and are happier for it? They admit they were lying to themselves and werent happy. Faith didnt "help" them did it?

[Tyberz]

You define yourself by the way you act and think.

[gazazi1997]

Being gay isn't a choice, I beleive in God, but not everything the Bible says is true because, well, it's dated. God made you who you are and it's sad that people were persecuted for so long because of their sexuality.
I think that everyone has somewhat of a curiosity about the same sex, but for some it's stronger than others. I also think that being transgender is something completely different.

[charlie3322]

I'm not Christian or catholic, so my knowledge of the bible is limited.
As far as I can see, in Catholicism homes homosexuality is not accepted, and that's very hypocritical, as is the catholic way.
I find that christianity projects the idea that if there is proper love in a relationship that it doesn't matter if it's a same sex relationship, but of this I'm not sure.
Homosexuality is not a choice, it is how you are born.
How can the catholic church sprout that you must love thy fellow man and woman, yet condemn you just because you were born differently?
That's not a very loving god, and I believe that it contradicts with the faiths beliefs of a loving god.
My cousin is gay, her girlfriend comes from a highly religeous family, and their catholic church accepts her as she is a good person and loves her partner.
Any catholic priest or pastors wife who says differently is a hypocrite.
If you believe in god, you should believe that god loves all of his people.
Why would he condemn them for something they can't control?
If I were you I'd stick to my faith, and take more value from what I can do to be a better person in the name of my god, and not exactly what the bible says.

i live in a very Roman Catholic home and family.. i myself refuse to live by religion for the sake of making my life mine and noone elses.. but my church and family accept it.. we believe loving anyone no matter the sex. its the person i love not the gender. all though i like guys for there specific characteristics i am not in love with there penis and lack of vagina i love that person.. sorry if this is not helpfull:)

[wattado]

i did not choose to be bi i even denied it even tho i knew i had an attraction for guys in elementary school. i dont see a problem with who you end up with its as long as your happy. lots of things in life arnt things we can choose. and this is definitely not one you can choose.

[kenoloor]

"No, lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations are not disorders. Research has found no inherent association between any of these sexual orientations and psychopathology. Both heterosexual behavior and homosexual behavior are normal aspects of human sexuality. Both have been documented in many different cultures and historical eras. Despite the persistence of stereotypes that portray lesbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several decades of research and clinical experience have led all mainstream medical and mental health organizations in this country to conclude that these orientations represent normal forms of human experience. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual relationships are normal forms of human bonding. Therefore, these mainstream organizations long ago abandoned classifications of homosexuality as a mental disorder."

Source. ( http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/sexual-orientation.aspx)

Here's something else to read ( http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/just-the-facts.aspx) if you still decide to be a groundless intolerant.