Started Again (may trigger)

[maramara]

Hi, I'm mara.
I started SH again about eight days ago.
I'm scared by how much I missed it.
I'm not quite sure what to do, because it's the only thing that helps me feel any better when I wake up and get drowned by the problems in my life that I have caused. My parents won't even look at me.
I don't know. I just don't know what to do.

[Magenta]

Well, first off, Mara, welcome to VT.

You may have slipped up this time and started again but everyone does it. You said you were scared by how much you missed it. That's okay. I think everyone who stops misses it to some degree. It helped you, it was your way of coping. It wasn't a positive way but hey, it was what it was.

It's not the only way to cope though. In fact, you probably already know, but it's one of the worst ways. Are the scars really worth it? Have you tried writing in a journal, drawing or painting, going for a jog, snapping an elastic band on your wrist? There's plenty of other ways to cope that won't stay with you for the rest of your life.

I don't know much about your parents so I can't really say much about them but if anything I've learned from my own family, while it may suck completely, you can survive without their help. In a perfect world, they'd be supportive at all times and maybe they can be if you talked to them, I don't know but just to throw all options out there, you can help yourself. :)

Have you talked to a professional about your SH as well as other problems? That's often one of the best remedies for these things, just having someone to go to. Of course, VT can help too. I'm going to assume that because you started 'again' that you've stopped before. If so, you can do it again. I always believe that the sooner you try to stop after you start, the better but that's up to you.

:hug:

[screamtobeheard]

Hi, Mara. Welcome to VT. I love your name.

As Jo said, the best thing you can do is often to talk to someone professionally. I get the feeling your parents aren't an option for help, and sometimes parents can be like that. It's okay, it doesn't mean you have to be alone. You can talk to a teacher, a guidance counselor, a close friend, or anyone, really.

Again, as Jo said, I believe that if you've stopped once, you can stop again. And the earlier you stop, the easier it will be. It's just another hurdle to jump over, but what's life without a hardship or 10, right?

Good luck. I hope you decide to try to stop your self harm. If you need any support, you know where to find up. :hug3:

[maramara]

My mom pulled me out of my room yesterday to tell me she set up an intake appointment with a therapist. I didn't want her to know, but I was really relieved. She doesn't want to hear anything I say (typical teen angst, but what do you do?). I hope that helps. Spent a couple hours drawing last night and hide my razor from myself. Trying to take deep breaths and make it through the day.
Thank you both so much (:

[screamtobeheard]

Good, I'm glad. I hope this will help you get through this. (:

[maramara]

Me too. I've just been having a really hard time lately. Long, long, long nights.

[screamtobeheard]

I understand where you're coming from. Just try to stay positive.