Why don't I have a girlfriend?

[christianteen]

Well, I'm 14 years old and male.

Some of my highlights include; Campus Athletics Champion, College Athletics Champion, Runner Up Campus Swimming Champion, Seventh in the cross country, tall, mature body (I'm an early bloomer), songwriter, I can play 5 instruments, Captain of the regional champion basketball team, winner of the national felt scarf making competition, author and I have chiselled pecs.

Yet I've never had a girlfriend and never been kissed or even held a hand of a girl.

I know people left right and centre that are getting girlfriends. Even a guy who I know who used to be a sex crazed gamer even got a girl liking him once.

I've achieved all these great things, and for what? What's the point of them if I haven't got someone to share them with?

Why do you guys and girls think I don't have a girlfriend?

Is it my taste in music? (I don't like pop, rap, hip hop or r 'n' b) The fact that I'm not one of those cap turned sideways with pants on the ground kind of guys? Is it because of my mild acne? I don't know...

What do you think?

-Jamie

[MaliciousBunface]

You said nothing about your personality. You could be an ass for all we know .-. It's not all about what achievements and stuff you have. And your 14, it's not like you need a girlfriend.

Maybe no one thinks of you in that way, maybe there is someone that is too shy to tell you that they like you.

[Jess]

don't worry about it. you're only 14. loads of people, who are older than you, don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend either. I doubt it's your personality or what you do

[screamtobeheard]

Well, I'm 14 years old and male.

Some of my highlights include; Campus Athletics Champion, College Athletics Champion, Runner Up Campus Swimming Champion, Seventh in the cross country, tall, mature body (I'm an early bloomer), songwriter, I can play 5 instruments, Captain of the regional champion basketball team, winner of the national felt scarf making competition, author and I have chiselled pecs.

Yet I've never had a girlfriend and never been kissed or even held a hand of a girl.

I know people left right and centre that are getting girlfriends. Even a guy who I know who used to be a sex crazed gamer even got a girl liking him once.

I've achieved all these great things, and for what? What's the point of them if I haven't got someone to share them with?

Why do you guys and girls think I don't have a girlfriend?

Is it my taste in music? (I don't like pop, rap, hip hop or r 'n' b) The fact that I'm not one of those cap turned sideways with pants on the ground kind of guys? Is it because of my mild acne? I don't know...

What do you think?

-Jamie
It's not your looks and achievements that count. It's your personality. Are you funny, smart, sweet? Do you stick up for people that need it? Are you a good friend?

You don't mention that you've asked a lot of girls out and been rejected. Have you? If not, that could be your problem. You should take the plunge and start talking to someone. Girls are very, very unlikely to ask a guy out. Ever. I don't know why, but it's true.

Curiously, what kind of music do you like (not that it matters, I'm just actually curious)?

[kenoloor]

Most people don't consider complaining to be an attractive quality.

[BOSS]

Man let me just say this.
God has that perfect woman picked out for you all you have to do is find her. Sure it might take a while but you'll find her eventually. Dont freak bro. It'll happen

[Spook]

Some of my highlights include; Campus Athletics Champion, College Athletics Champion, Runner Up Campus Swimming Champion, Seventh in the cross country, tall, mature body (I'm an early bloomer), songwriter, I can play 5 instruments, Captain of the regional champion basketball team, winner of the national felt scarf making competition, author and I have chiselled pecs. Girls don't care about what awards you've won, and appearance or growth isn't that important to us (from my viewpoint) Though it is a nice thing. :wub: You could be Bill gates and we still wouldn't like you if you didn't have a good personality.

I've achieved all these great things, and for what? What's the point of them if I haven't got someone to share them with? For yourself? Don't want to seem rude, but humble guys are good too. :yummy:

Why do you guys and girls think I don't have a girlfriend? Well, do you approach them, or let anybody know you like them? You won't get a girlfriend unless you try too.

Is it my taste in music? (I don't like pop, rap, hip hop or r 'n' b) Obviously not. I, in my opinion, couldn't give a flying monkey shit about music. Actually, I find guys who listen to rap mildly annoying; as they turn their mp3's up to top volume or add some speakers; which is done; in my opinion; solely to annoy you.

The fact that I'm not one of those cap turned sideways with pants on the ground kind of guys? Translation of cap turned sideways pants on the ground (excuse my french) : douchebag.

Is it because of my mild acne? Girls, from my viewpoint; don't care about acne. You haven't said anything about your personality..?

[christianteen]

It's not your looks and achievements that count. It's your personality. Are you funny, smart, sweet? Do you stick up for people that need it? Are you a good friend?

You don't mention that you've asked a lot of girls out and been rejected. Have you? If not, that could be your problem. You should take the plunge and start talking to someone. Girls are very, very unlikely to ask a guy out. Ever. I don't know why, but it's true.

Curiously, what kind of music do you like (not that it matters, I'm just actually curious)?

Everyone seems to be interested the questions that you've just asked so I'll answer them. I find the easiest way to describe my personallity is in three words; tender-hearted, shy, kind.

I know that sounds a little cliché but that's me.

No, I haven't asked many girls out. Only about two I think. I'm a shy guy but I do much prefer to take my time and get to know them a lot more first. I know taking the plunge sounds easy when you're telling someone to do it but it's a lot harder for the person you're actully telling it to.

Music wise, rock and metal mostly. Right now I really like what Steve Vai and Buckethead does but I also like AC/DC, Metallica, Iron Maiden, that sort of thing.

I hope this clears myself up a little bit.

[Manga]

Everyone seems to be interested the questions that you've just asked so I'll answer them. I find the easiest way to describe my personallity is in three words; tender-hearted, shy, kind.

I know that sounds a little cliché but that's me.

No, I haven't asked many girls out. Only about two I think. I'm a shy guy but I do much prefer to take my time and get to know them a lot more first. I know taking the plunge sounds easy when you're telling someone to do it but it's a lot harder for the person you're actully telling it to.

Music wise, rock and metal mostly. Right now I really like what Steve Vai and Buckethead does but I also like AC/DC, Metallica, Iron Maiden, that sort of thing.

I hope this clears myself up a little bit.


Even if that is how you describe yourself, that doesn't mean that is how others see you. Tbh you sort of come off as desperate to me.

[christianteen]

Even if that is how you describe yourself, that doesn't mean that is how others see you. Tbh you sort of come off as desperate to me.

May I ask you to clarify how you have come to the conclusion that I am desperate?

[Manga]

May I ask you to clarify how you have come to the conclusion that I am desperate?

Edit: Think I put that a bit harsh.

You just seem to want just any girl willing to be with you tbh. You also seem to want a girlfriend a bit too much, especially when you are 13. I don't think you need a girlfriend, I think you need a close friend.

[christianteen]

Edit: Think I put that a bit harsh.

You just seem to want just any girl willing to be with you tbh. You also seem to want a girlfriend a bit too much, especially when you are 13. I don't think you need a girlfriend, I think you need a close friend.

Well put and in a way true.

[Jupiter]

Why do you want one? All they are are stress sometimes. You have your whole life to start dating, just keep it chill.

[drpepper266]

Youre 14 relax, you shouldnt worry until you are 18

[kenoloor]

Youre 14 relax, you shouldnt worry until you are 18

What happens when you turn 18?

[antiabort]

shy

Found your problem.

[Maxxie]

Found your problem.

The bane of a guys existence: shyness.

[Mind Blank]

I believe that everybody will meet someone perfect eventually.
And you're only young - the relationships of those others are likely meaningless.

There's someone for everyone.

[Fishcustard]

I'm not so sure "you're young, take your time!" is the best way to put it, but...

That.

Eventually, you'll meet a girl, get to know her, start liking her. Then comes the stress and anxiety, then you'll work up the nerve to ask her out! For the longest few seconds of your life, you will feel like the biggest idiot ever. Then she says yes, and it's off to happy land!

After that, the hard part begins!

[Gordo]

Jamie, GET A CLUE!!! and here it is. Cut yourself a break. You're 14 and shy! It's nice you describe yourself as tender and kind. It's all good. It was in 7th grade when things started to happen for me and my group and sad but true, but, truth or dare kicked it off. I was shy or insecure prior to that time frame, but truth or dare will definitely test your limits if you're not a quitter. So once some stuff is out there or you've done some stuff, shyness kinda went away on me. Still some shyer people in the group, but we all loosened up from that point on.

So I was shyish and now i'm def not shy, def not tender, but I am kind, respectful and work at being sensitive to other people's feelings. Yup even with GET A CLUE cuz its about cutting yourself some slack man.

[Pig on the Wing]

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[mcadams1992]

At above comment I believe its PIg something sorry i just glanced at it... Im 19 buddy an Ive had three gfs over my lifetime... the first lasted 2 years and then because of the build up of stress over the two years we broke off... my second lasted a few weeks i was cheated on... it didnt phase me though cause i assumed as much... and the one im currentley with is moving in with me an boy have we been through some shit but it makes us stronger.. weel enough about me lol.. Im in college as well from what ive seen in college its where you experience who you really are for the first time... ALSO GOES TO THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF THIS POST YOU ARE 14 YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON YET... I would stick to my guns bro an hang in there good comes to those who wait theres no need to rush into a relationship my friend add me if youd like

[mcadams1992]

NOW TO THE ORIGINAL PERSON... I didnt have my first gf till i was 15... i had liked girls before but always was in the dreaded friend zone BOO!! yeah.. The key thing is at 14 you are still growing an maturing as a person you ALSO MAY NOT BE ABLE TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN SOMEONE THAT IS GOOD FOR YOU AN GIVES YOU WHAT YOU NEED (LOVE TRUST AND EQUALITY ECT.) AND THAT FLING WITH SOME RADOM CHICK... When i was 14 i was in your position too a jock... notice i say jock because its the stereotype in highschool applied to one such as you an I... and well all that crap that you do sportswise and stuff doesnt matter at all... I was a good wrestler went undefeated my 8th grade year but that didnt help me win over the girl i wanted... you need to find out who you are first because it sounds like you dont know your ownself then worry about findout who you wanna be with things come in time my friend you just have to wait and see where life takes you your 14 go play a videogame and have some fun not worrying about women for now bud

[DerBear]

Also putting personality aside, your not going and socializing with new people, you are mostly if not always with the same people so therefore your in the friend zone so chances are they dont see you as relationship material, I am not saying that the friend zone means no relationship but it is a lot harder. Your young, give it a couple of years and when you start to socialize more and meet new people you may find it easier to get a girlfriend.

[Eclipsical]

Because of posts like this. You're a whiner. If you like a girl go be proactive about it.

oh and by reading your other posts...you're kind of a tight ass, overly-rule following douche.

[unnamed94]

the fact that you started your post with your achievements instead of your personality actually tells me something about you. after reading your whole post i find that your personality is similar to mine. dont worry about not having a gf. ive never had one and im fine. look for girls to have a good time with (if that is what you want), eventually you will find someone. only advice i can give you is: if you know a girl you like and want her to be your girlfriend, dont screw it up. it can feel so good talking or just being around her but if you screw it, you will fill like crap. sorry if you cant understand what im saying, im kinda drunk now. good look and remember you dont need to find a girl, it will come whenever you are ready.

[LuckyLuke]

Speaking solely of what I know from what you've told me, it could be a whole slew of things.

I know nothing of who YOU are. The things you've done don't exactly define you. Rattling off achievements doesn't make you boyfriend material, it makes you a resume.

Maybe you're lacking confidence. Maybe you don't talk to girls all that often. Maybe you talk to the WRONG girls. Perhaps you're not flirting right or well. Maybe you haven't gone the extra mile.

Frankly speaking, I'm 18 and had my first girlfriend at 17. You'll get one when You're ready and when it's right.

[Pig on the Wing]

the fact that you started your post with your achievements instead of your personality actually tells me something about you. after reading your whole post i find that your personality is similar to mine. dont worry about not having a gf. ive never had one and im fine. look for girls to have a good time with (if that is what you want), eventually you will find someone. only advice i can give you is: if you know a girl you like and want her to be your girlfriend, dont screw it up. it can feel so good talking or just being around her but if you screw it, you will fill like crap. sorry if you cant understand what im saying, im kinda drunk now. good look and remember you dont need to find a girl, it will come whenever you are ready.

Good stuff. Earlier in the thread I was bitching about my own history of not having a girlfriend while not regarding my own massive personal growth since high school. Sure, tons of stuff happened to me in high school which was beyond my control, but looking back at myself, I see a very different person. This doesn't just apply to girl matters. In high school, I had so much going for me, yet one major thing was wrong: I thought I was entitled to others' attention due to my talents, friendliness, and outgoing personality. Now, my personality is still the same, except now I find others' lives equally as important. So to the original poster: whenever you're talking to another human being, put your attention on them, not yourself. When someone is open to discussing their own problems with you, which is often a sensitive subject for all of us, don't be quick to tell them what they should be doing/have done like you know better. Most of the time you don't, because everyone has things they struggle with.

[TheHumanSpirit]

Describe yourself a little more than listing some adjectives. Are you family-oriented? If so, what would make you say that? Why do you feel you're tender-hearted and kind? If your friend came up to you with a problem, how would you react? Good looks can grab attention, but personality keeps that attention.

By the way, you did mention that you're shy. Maybe that's a part of it. Girls might not know who you are exactly. I wouldn't go all crisis management over this situation considering the fact that you're still really young and there aren't many people in relationships at your age.