Slipping back.

[georgiamay]

For a while now, I've been... Well, I'm not really sure.

I feel irritated, frustrated, and overwhelmed 95% of the time. I'm walking around with this heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it won't go away. I feel heavy all the time, physically and mentally.

I'm tired most of the time, but I keep waking up through the night, and I always wake up about 2 hours before I need to, but I can never be bothered to get up. I always lay there until I realise that I've been laying in bed for too long and force myself to get up.

I've lost all of my motivation. I hardly care about my exams anymore. I know how important they are, and I know that I'd hate to fail them, and I really want to do well in them and go off to uni, but I just can't be bothered. I can't be bothered to do anything. I want to, I really do, I want to be motivated and I want to care, and I want to do well have a decent future, but when it comes down to it, I'd much rather curl up in bed and wait until I have to get up again.

Every day it's getting harder and harder to not self harm. I've been doing so well lately, but I don't know how long I can hold it off for. I'm craving it a lot more. Whenever I get stupidly overwhelmed, I think about how I'd feel if I just did it, and just for a few minutes, everything would be okay. And it always seems like a good idea, it always seems worth it, and I always want to do it. I fight it, and I manage to not do it. But I think one day I won't give a shit about the progress I've made, and I'll just fuck it all up because those few minutes would be so worth it.

/rant.

[Scotland]

This is one of those situations where i can say i know how you feel, i lost all motivation for school a year before my exams... i spend a year not caring, and ended up doing a lot worse in my exams than i could have.

Its extremely difficult to stay motivated, saying something to your school might help, or seeing a therapist of some sort.

Feel free to message me if you need a chat, im always about :)

-Scotland

[georgiamay]

Thanks :)

I did see a therapist for about 10 months, but I don't see her anymore. She thought I could cope on my own, and for a long time I did, but I'm just not anymore.

I don't trust my school. Everything I've ever told them has ended up back to my parents very quickly. They tend to twist what I say and somehow manage to convince my parents that I'm worse than I actually am. I've just had quite a few bad experiences with my school.

Thanks for the reply, it means a lot :)

[Scotland]

Again i know the feeling, i saw a Councillor for quite a while, she said there was nothing up with me because when i went and seen her it was taking me out of classes... being out of the class cheered me up so to her knowledge i was fine.

You can only do your best, try not to get too stressed about exams because at the end of the day if you don't do amazingly life isn't over, there's a lot of different ways into uni, and you have many years to do it :)

-Scotland

[antondrexler22]

Tell someone u trust