I fell for same-sex friend

[mikey514]

I am gay and i fell for a friend. I know for a fact my friend is gay because he came out to me and we have done shit together. I know if I tell him how i feel i risk ruining our friendship but it is killing me. Please help me out :(

[CrossingtheCourtyard]

So you two are close then? You've already done things together and he's trusted you enough to come out to you? Some people in your situation don't know the sexuality of the person they like, it's lucky that you do.

If you really care for him and believe you'd like to move your relationship into a romantic one, then I believe that you should.

You do run the risk of ruining your friendship, any relationship gives that risk, but what is love without risk, right? Nothing ventured nothing gained. I say tell your friend you have feelings for him!

(If you do tell him, tell us how it goes!)

[Gordo]

Seems like you have a best case on your hands. You've been together, you already know each other. I doubt asking him will ruin your friendship. It shouldn't anyway and he can just say no and you continue as you were. So telling him how you feel isn't going to ruin the relationship if you can accept him saying no. The risk to your friendship is if you guys have a serious relationship and then break up. Def tell him how you feel and tell him no is a good answer too

[jtk339]

I am gay and i fell for a friend. I know for a fact my friend is gay because he came out to me and we have done shit together. I know if I tell him how i feel i risk ruining our friendship but it is killing me. Please help me out :(

Hang on if hes gay and your gay and you have done things together i dont think telling him is going to risk ruining your relationship :)

[bwdude15]

If you are both gay, and have done things together...i'm pretty sure it will be alright if you ask him out. No worrying.

[nick]

He is probably waiting for this and having exactly the same thoughts and questions.

Of course there is a risk. In your case it's not that he will be disgusted that you are gay, but that he may not have any feelings for you, he may think its just a way for 2 friends to satisfy their horniness. Sorry. Not trying to be cruel here.

Look, he probably wants to do more with you, and I suspect you want to do more with him. Whether that is out of love or lust/horniness is for you to judge and for you to think about whether it matters.

[kenoloor]

Hang on if hes gay and your gay and you have done things together i dont think telling him is going to risk ruining your relationship :)

This.

[Levy]

Doing things with each other seems more dangerous to a relationship than asking him out. That's just me I suppose.

[ImCoolBeans]

He is probably waiting for this and having exactly the same thoughts and questions.

Of course there is a risk. In your case it's not that he will be disgusted that you are gay, but that he may not have any feelings for you, he may think its just a way for 2 friends to satisfy their horniness. Sorry. Not trying to be cruel here.

Look, he probably wants to do more with you, and I suspect you want to do more with him. Whether that is out of love or lust/horniness is for you to judge and for you to think about whether it matters.

This is great advice. Don't make a hasty decision, but if it's what you really want and it will make you happy, no body is stopping you.

[akapustka1796]

if you have already done stuff with him, and he already came out to you as gay, then how would that ruin your friendship?

[ImCoolBeans]

if you have already done stuff with him, and he already came out to you as gay, then how would that ruin your friendship?

He might not have these feelings in return.

[mikey514]

The reason I am holding back from telling him is because I am not sure if he feels for me in the same way or if he just wants to stay friends and knowing him, he will probably feel awkward if I ask him out and then we would hate each other. Another problem is that I see him everyday and we have the same friends. If things don't go well, I'm stuck seeing him everyday and I just don't know if its worth it.

[CrossingtheCourtyard]

The reason I am holding back from telling him is because I am not sure if he feels for me in the same way or if he just wants to stay friends and knowing him, he will probably feel awkward if I ask him out and then we would hate each other. Another problem is that I see him everyday and we have the same friends. If things don't go well, I'm stuck seeing him everyday and I just don't know if its worth it.

Those are good points, on one hand, you could continue to moon over him and never tell him how you feel. That's not that fun. On the other hand if you tell him, you risk the chance of him rejecting you, or putting you in a potentially awkward situation. And on the other hand--wait a second, I ran out of hands... regardless--you have a chance at entering a relationship with him.

Perhaps weigh your options. Do you want to risk your friendship? No, probably not, no one in this situation would, however, you may be pleasantly surprised. He may be interested in you as more than a friend, and you might never know if you don't make a move. Que sera, sera, you never know these things.

Personally, I think it might be worth the risk.

[black thirteenth]

You could start by asking him how he'd react if a mate said they liked him and how he'd react and if they'd still be just as good mates with the person who asked and go from there

[Teensensation32]

If your reaLy close and he came out to you that means he admires you a lot..and if you've done shit together ....then he will never stop beeping your friend if you tell him! Go for it dude!

[Levi scott]

You could have a mutual agreement on if it isnt going to work out just end it mutually and stay friends and go past it. Just let him know that his friendship means alot to you if he says yes to liking you that way, and make sure you both agree with the decision and to know the risk to make it more than just a friendship. Thats what i would do anyways.

[Can'tHelpIt]

So you two are close then? You've already done things together and he's trusted you enough to come out to you? Some people in your situation don't know the sexuality of the person they like, it's lucky that you do.

If you really care for him and believe you'd like to move your relationship into a romantic one, then I believe that you should.

You do run the risk of ruining your friendship, any relationship gives that risk, but what is love without risk, right? Nothing ventured nothing gained. I say tell your friend you have feelings for him!

(If you do tell him, tell us how it goes!)

agree 100%:yes: