Back to a wreck again.

[antiabort]

I just got back from my visit with my dad, I was there for 4 days, while i was there I was happy, I was my peaceful joking self, and was basically normal again. But last night when I got back I immediately began to feel like shit again. back to feeling depressed, trouble concentrating, shitty short term memory, binge eating, having thoughts of violence, urges to commit violence, feeling tired, not caring about anything, and all of last night i had nightmares. I am moving in with him this summer, but I do not know if I can last that long, I am afraid that i'll kill myself, hurt somebody, or just lose my fucking mind. I have tried counseling, but it just made me cry like a pussy and get angry. I am getting back into martial arts, maybe that will make me feel better. But if it does not, what else can I do? Sorry for talking about myself so much, I hate to seem like some sort of drama queen...

[Fiction]

Can I ask what it is exactly that's so bad about where you're living at the moment? For example is there a trigger that's causing you to feel like that? If there is then maybe there's something you can do to solve this?

If not is there anyway that you can move into your dad's earlier, or stay there more often?

If there's no way you can solve the problem then you'll have to cope with it. Doing martial arts sounds like a good idea. Keep yourself busy, and find ways to outlet your feelings. Perhaps try writing and keeping a diary? I find it helps to vent in there sometimes. :)