Straight but people think i'm gay.

[bacbrat]

I'm tired of people constantly asking me if I am gay. How am I supposed to find a girl and get married if they think I'm gay. I have no problems with gay people I just don't want people to think of me as a homosexual. The thing is they don't realize how much it hurts me whe they ask me. They always start off with the magic words "no offense" Just because you said that dosn't mean I'm magically not offended.

[CoolGuyXD]

I think you need to just say to them that you are not gay and would like it if they would stop. Ask them nicely first. If that doesn't work then just ignore them.

[wattado]

people called me that all thro middle school i hated it soo much it stoped in highschool. if i were you i would ignore it because whenever you tell someone your not gay they say you are even more because your making a big deal to defend yourself. people can be stupid most the time -_-

[Gordo]

When people say "no offense" they are pretty much saying, "I'm about to offend you, but I care more about my opinion/curiosity than I do about you".

Maybe they are acting on stereotypes and consider you in shape, nice looking, smart, funny, neat and a good dresser. If you like to debate or argue, ask your own "no offense" questions:

if it's a girl, "no offense, but are you concerned about your weight?"
If it's a guy, "no offense, but I heard you were gay. It's not a problem, but people are curious and keep asking me if you are and I don't know what to tell them".

Hopefully they aren't using that method on you, meaning that hopefully you aren't asking other people if they are gay and then get upset when they ask you.

[DarkNick]

When people say "no offense" they are pretty much saying, "I'm about to offend you, but I care more about my opinion/curiosity than I do about you".

Maybe they are acting on stereotypes and consider you in shape, nice looking, smart, funny, neat and a good dresser. If you like to debate or argue, ask your own "no offense" questions:

if it's a girl, "no offense, but are you concerned about your weight?"
If it's a guy, "no offense, but I heard you were gay. It's not a problem, but people are curious and keep asking me if you are and I don't know what to tell them".

Hopefully they aren't using that method on you, meaning that hopefully you aren't asking other people if they are gay and then get upset when they ask you.

Well said!
It used to happen to me too (and it still happens every now and then) but not like that (most of the time) but by bullying me 'cause I have a gay friend....
Anyway you have either to say what Gordo said in his post or simply tell them to mind their own bussiness and that it's not true (If it's a guy you can also say that even if you were gay you wouldn't go with him! :P I did that to a guy that bullied me once hardly and he was really pissed off after! :P )
Just make sure that you won't make it look like a really big issue 'cause the bigger it gets,the harder it becomes (except if you can kick their **ses eventhough you shouldn't think of it it as a good method that people should use)

[Manga]

Maybe they are acting on stereotypes and consider you in shape, nice looking, smart, funny, neat and a good dresser.

Implying the stereotype is that straight men are out of shape, not good looking, not smart, boring, messy, and not good dressers.


Tbh it is probably the way you talk and the way you act. I know a guy who people think is gay simply because he says some terms that a gay guy would say.

[Jupiter]

ya. people think i'm gay. but i don't take offence, because honestly, I'M NOT, so why do I care about what they say about me.

[LuckyLuke]

Same exact problem dude. I've posted about this loads of times and it's the focus of my blog (you can find the link below, in my signature). Perhaps you can find solace or at least a bit of comfort knowing you're not alone by reading the writings and comments of others? It certainly helped me.

I look at it this way, in a few months (couple of years for you) you and I will be heading off to college. It's a fresh start. You can be whomever you want. Right now, the people you know and the people in your school have known you your entire life (or at least for awhile) and they already have this preconceived notion of who you are stuck and drilled into their minds. It'd take A LOT to change that.

So, instead of trying to change that, live your life the way you want to! Do whatever you like to do and enjoy whatever you enjoy. Sooner or later, it will get better.

In one of my blog posts I talk about how I found that as I went and did things at other schools, girls there that hadn't known me before were attracted to me in a way that I wasn't used to.. I wasn't stuck in the friend zone with them! And, even better, they didn't think I was gay! I think you may find as you go outside your typical friends and areas, you'll see a change.

But, and I'm only saying this because our situation is identical- I've never before directed someone to read my blog, I highly recommend you take a few moments to look through my posts, namely the older ones (the first ever one centers around this problem) and see that you're not alone. Also, take a look at my older posts (I put the links below) because there were quite a few answers and it truly gave me comfort. I hope it does the same for you.



The "Not Always Fabulous" Life of a Straight Fashionisto Blog:

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/blog.php?u=36956


My old post (nearly identical to this, the answers really helped me and I hope they do the same for you):

(nearly) EVERYONE thinks I'm gay:
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=112697

The rest of the following were asking about getting a gf when faced with the above problem, I'm assuming you do too:

A smorgasboard of problems
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=116064

Single and friends with most girls... uh oh.
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=111164

Good luck and best wishes my similar problem friend. Feel free to drop a line and post on my stream some time. I'd be happy to talk with you.

[Rayquaza]

This exact thing happens to me. I try my best to ignore it, my friends tell other people to back off aswell.

Try not to think of what others think, it will irritate you more. It irritated me more.

[tomh274]

This happened to me today,

I find the best way to deal with it, is a simple response of 'no' and try not to make a fuss out of it. If you do people tend to think you have something to hide.