Worst new year's eve ever

[Stargazer]

I really need some advice on what to do about this. My girlfriend and I have been together for four months. Basically she ended up losing her virginity to another guy while we were drunk on new years eve. A friend of mine threw a party in the family house. There were alot of people getting completely wasted. After the fireworks, people started drifting home, while we were supposed to sleep over. My friend went upstairs to his bedroom, while we were left on a corner coach in the living room. A local guy in his early twenties remained.

While I was laying there almost knocked out from alcohol, he started asking us alot of questions. How old we were, how long we had been together, and if we ever had sex. He started telling me how lucky I was to have such a beautiful girlfriend, and that he could make our first time easier by having sex with her. I was dozing off then, and told him he should ask her, thinking it a joke.

She was just as tired and gone as me, and when I came to he was pulling her pants and panties down her legs while she passively watched. He then pushed her down at the other end of the coach, and started going down on her. I should have stopped it there and then, but I was too shocked and spaced out. I realized what was going to happen when he stopped kissing her intimate regions and pulled his penis out, but I couldn't bring myself to stop it. So while I watched he actually took her virginity. She was in pain, and he came inside of her after moving back and fourth a couple of times.

Only when he pulled out did we realize the full extent of what had transpired, and how dirty sex really is. He had used no condom, and she was bleeding. He put his shirt between her legs to prevent her from bleeding all over, and we sat there in shock and disbelief. I felt like crying or attacking him, but didn't want to show him that. Instead he made us drinks, and told my girlfriend that it would take the sting out of the pain.

He made her sit with her legs raised. Early in the morning, in the new year, we sat there toasting that my girlfriend had been fucked by another guy while his semen trickled from her vagina. Fingering her, he found out that her hymen had been pushed aside, but not completely destroyed. So he wanted another round, and promised he'd last longer. She leaned back, numb and baffeled, he puts it in, and I had to watch the ass of another guy humping away between my girlfriend's legs. It went on, and on, and on, with him sweating all over her, and she laying there with her eyes closed. I got turned on in a way, because it was sex, but what was taking place was absolutely horrible. He wanted to pull her top up to see her breasts, and she said no, asking him if he was done soon. He told her that it ususally became hard to cum when he'd been drinking. I resigned, and tried to sleep, but it was impossible.

After the intercourse had been going on for an hour or so, it was stopped by the events. The mother of the house came down early in the morning, and asked "are you having sex?" followed with an "oh" when she saw what's going on in her living room. The guy stopped his movements, but didn't get out of her. She asks him if my girlfriend is with someone, and he answers yes, but he's teaching us. She tells them to finish what they're doing, because in five minutes she wants to have a talk with all of us. When the mother of the house is gone, the guy has the audacity to continue with the sex, until he has finished himself and cum again. When the mother comes back, they've only just done getting dressed, and I've gotten up.

She has a long and serious talk with the guy. He admits he only wanted to have sex, and that he took advantage of us while we were drunk. My girlfriend says she didn't really know what happened until it was too late, and that it was hard to stop it when it had first started. The mother then asks the guy to apologize to each of us, which he does, and says that what happened should be between us, and noone else. The guy is warned from doing anything similar again. She helps us clean up the traces of blood, and airs out the smell of sex, so that the other people in the house won't realize what has happened. She then drives the guy home. When she gets back, the people of the house haven't come up from bed yet, and my girlfriend and I have barely been talking while we cleared away the rest of the mess.

Since he didn't use a condom, she drives us to a pharmacy and buys us the morrow after pill before taking us home. In the car she tells us that the guy is a shady character, and that she's sorry that had to happened to us. She says it would be best for both parts to just put a lid on it, since rape charges would be difficult, and most likely wouldn't lead to anything, just making everything public. At the end she tells us it needn't be all bad, and that if we are strong, can come out with a stronger relationship. The guy didn't take anything of signifigance, it was just physical. And that at least our first time won't need to be painful for her. I've talked to my girlfriend, and she agrees with this. But I'm not so sure. I know I should have acted and told him no, but I just didn't manage to do that. Still, I don't think it's right that this guy should get away with this....and that's why I'm asking you what to do. We're both 16.

[humanesquire]

I am so sorry for you. You girlfriend didn't deserve that and it is absolutely horrid that it has happened to her.

[clr9823]

If this story is the full account (and that proviso is only in because rape cases are extremely hard to prove, so this advice is null if I don't know all the details), then I'd want to press charges. Obviously this has to be with her consent, but if she is willing to then he should be brought up against the law. You have both yourself and the mother (who sounds like a piece of work imho) as witnesses. But then again, there are loads of reasons to and not to go to the police. It will involve parents, word may well get out, if the mother is uncooperative then the case may not go far etc. But then again, that guy is beyond shady and should be locked away for a long time.

On another thought, she must be tested for STDs. I don't know if it's been done or not, but if not it's absolutely essential for her, and you if you wish to pursue a sexual relationship.

But whatever you do about the police (which I strongly advocate going to), just be there for her and fully support it. You may feel guilt, but I really don't think you have anything to be guilty for in this situation, and the best way to help her now is to be there for her.

Hope that helps :/

[kenoloor]

edit.

[Fiction]

Teen Sexuality :arrow: Abuse

That is absolutely horrible.

I really think that you should go to the police with this. There's a huge risk of him doing this to someone else. By reporting him you can prevent that. Rape leaves huge psychological trauma and can be extremely damaging. I suggest pressing rape charges, as the guy above said, you have enough witnesses. Your girlfriend is going to need help. She will probably need counselling.

I would also suggest getting her STI tested.

I understand that reporting this will be hard, both for her and for you but I really think you should discuss it with her.

[antondrexler22]

take her to the doctors to see if she has an STI/STD and tell her to take anti- pregnacy pills because you might lose your girl,get a child, or a child with hiv/aids. Tell the police and tellthem to arrest the dude and makeshure he dontsnt have an sti-std

[Fiction]

take her to the doctors to see if she has an STI/STD and tell her to take anti- pregnacy pills because you might lose your girl,get a child, or a child with hiv/aids. Tell the police and tellthem to arrest the dude and makeshure he dontsnt have an sti-std

He already said they took her for the morning after pill. That is the only "anti- pregnancy pill" that there is.

[BossHogg]

Your a strong guy cause if it was me I would have been mad as hell idc if i was drunk or not i wouldnt let any guy take my girls virginity ..idc if you thought he was joking dont let people make jokes like that that could of been a VERY SPECIAL moment for yall to have sex for the first time taking each others virginity, but life goes on so make the best of it, forgive and forget, and hopefully you learned that being wasted has consequences, a few drinks is fine but never wasted

[CoolStoryBro 15]

Well I think that ya defiantly test her for STDs or anything else, but idk about the police. Since y'all were drunk at 16 you both could get in trouble for that. Also you were witnessing it and you told the guy you should ask your girlfriend about it (even if you thought it was a joke) then you were a witness. And by going to the police that means you want this to be a more legal kind of thing, and legally you would not be innocent or get very far in pressing charges. He might go to jail for it but then again it still could go either way.

[Smartypants]

awww no :(
It really sucked cause you're powerless while he did it.

[Amaryllis]

Firstly, oh my god your descriptions are so graphic and triggering xD But never mind.

Now moving on to you and your girlfriend. Contrary to what some of the others have said, no, I don't think you should report it to the police. The thing is, when that happens, the event becomes so much bigger than it was before you reported it. It would take time to track the guy down, -a lot- of humiliation to find the evidence and it might possibly be costly and time consuming as well as a mental strain on your girlfriend to press charges.

As for the house mother who said "it was only physical" and that he took "nothing of significance", bullshit. That's so completely untrue. I strongly recommend your girlfriend see a mental health professional, I'd recommend a female because I find it extremely difficult to talk about anything with a male, especially sexual abuse.

You might also need some help coping with what you had to experience as well so if possible, perhaps you should see a psychologist or a counsellor.

As everyone has said, check for STDs and pregnancy after a couple weeks. The morning after pill isn't 100% fail proof. When I was going through more umm.. Vigorous abuse, I suppose - I used Postinor-2 and Plan B. Just a word of warning, she might puke. And she might feel a little dizzy. But I can't really say because as paranoid and unnecessary this sounds - I was on birth control, as well. Just for an extra measure...

I wrote a guide for understanding and coping with sexual abuse, if you're interested.(It might help your girlfriend) (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=124753)

Miichael wrote one for facts and reporting the rape as well, with information on hotlines etc. They could give you and your girlfriend advice on wether to report it. (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=29020)

Whether or not to report it depends on the circumstances - ask yourself: Is it really worth it? What are the likelihoods of her being raped again? Is what you both have to go through really worth this man staying in jail for most likely, only a few years?

Oh, and if your girlfriend doesn't want to talk to or touch you, please give her some time. She might not want to have any sexual relations for now and she might not even want to be in a relationship anymore. Give her time and let her know you're there for her.

Good luck, sweetheart. Take care of yourself as well.

[Stargazer]

It would be difficult to call it rape, at least in the direct sense. Basically when she came to her senses, he was already pulling her pants off, telling her they were going to have sex. She was confused and intimidated by him, but she never said no, and in no way did she resist him physicallly. He pushed her legs open, but she laid still for him both when he went down on her, and when he tried to get inside, which took some effort from them both. Him poking and prodding, and her hurting. Only afterwards, when she sat with her legs lifted and getting a drink to ease the pain, did she realize what had really happened. We were in shock, but had to accept the reality. Things had just been moving too fast. He was fingering her and commenting on the hymen still being present, and wanted a second go. And she thought she might as well see it through. He eased her down, and this time she voluntairily spread her legs. So yes, it takes two to tango.

She refused to kiss him or have her breasts out, but I could see everything that was going on. Watching them have sex is the most offensive and humiliating thing I've ever seen.

I have gone down on her after it happened. It was kind of unsetteling licking the place I'd seen his penis be in. Soon we'll have sex. He got her virginity and assaulted one of the most private parts of her body, but I can still have her in ways he can't. Despite having her bottoms undressed, he never got her breasts out, he never received a blowjob from her, or took her from behind. I know it's not the best way to think, but I'm considering having anal sex with her, just to have a place his dick didn't touch. Only if she wants to of course. Right now we should take care of each others feelings, and sex will happen soon...

[BossHogg]

Hey look it happened and you cant go back in time but in away in some poin in a mans life he will eat out a girl where another mans penis has been so dont think about it like that there is only one thing has hasnt done to her and thats making love to her...meaning its sex but yall have more than a physical connection yall have a emotional connection so thats something he could never do to her

[Aubrie]

I'm so sorry that happened. Try not to blame yourself; you were drunk. Be there for your girlfriend and help each other through it.

It wouldn't really be hard to prove rape. She was drunk - most places have laws that if the victim is intoxicated, sleeping, etc. that it's rape. Well, now it would be hard to prove seeing as the evidence is diminishing over time, but you can file a report if you'd like. Most likely, they wouldn't pursue charges against you for underage drinking in a case like this.

[Abyssal Echo]

I really need some advice on what to do about this. My girlfriend and I have been together for four months. Basically she ended up losing her virginity to another guy while we were drunk on new years eve. A friend of mine threw a party in the family house. There were alot of people getting completely wasted. After the fireworks, people started drifting home, while we were supposed to sleep over. My friend went upstairs to his bedroom, while we were left on a corner coach in the living room. A local guy in his early twenties remained.

While I was laying there almost knocked out from alcohol, he started asking us alot of questions. How old we were, how long we had been together, and if we ever had sex. He started telling me how lucky I was to have such a beautiful girlfriend, and that he could make our first time easier by having sex with her. I was dozing off then, and told him he should ask her, thinking it a joke.

She was just as tired and gone as me, and when I came to he was pulling her pants and panties down her legs while she passively watched. He then pushed her down at the other end of the coach, and started going down on her. I should have stopped it there and then, but I was too shocked and spaced out. I realized what was going to happen when he stopped kissing her intimate regions and pulled his penis out, but I couldn't bring myself to stop it. So while I watched he actually took her virginity. She was in pain, and he came inside of her after moving back and fourth a couple of times.

Only when he pulled out did we realize the full extent of what had transpired, and how dirty sex really is. He had used no condom, and she was bleeding. He put his shirt between her legs to prevent her from bleeding all over, and we sat there in shock and disbelief. I felt like crying or attacking him, but didn't want to show him that. Instead he made us drinks, and told my girlfriend that it would take the sting out of the pain.

He made her sit with her legs raised. Early in the morning, in the new year, we sat there toasting that my girlfriend had been fucked by another guy while his semen trickled from her vagina. Fingering her, he found out that her hymen had been pushed aside, but not completely destroyed. So he wanted another round, and promised he'd last longer. She leaned back, numb and baffeled, he puts it in, and I had to watch the ass of another guy humping away between my girlfriend's legs. It went on, and on, and on, with him sweating all over her, and she laying there with her eyes closed. I got turned on in a way, because it was sex, but what was taking place was absolutely horrible. He wanted to pull her top up to see her breasts, and she said no, asking him if he was done soon. He told her that it ususally became hard to cum when he'd been drinking. I resigned, and tried to sleep, but it was impossible.

After the intercourse had been going on for an hour or so, it was stopped by the events. The mother of the house came down early in the morning, and asked "are you having sex?" followed with an "oh" when she saw what's going on in her living room. The guy stopped his movements, but didn't get out of her. She asks him if my girlfriend is with someone, and he answers yes, but he's teaching us. She tells them to finish what they're doing, because in five minutes she wants to have a talk with all of us. When the mother of the house is gone, the guy has the audacity to continue with the sex, until he has finished himself and cum again. When the mother comes back, they've only just done getting dressed, and I've gotten up.

She has a long and serious talk with the guy. He admits he only wanted to have sex, and that he took advantage of us while we were drunk. My girlfriend says she didn't really know what happened until it was too late, and that it was hard to stop it when it had first started. The mother then asks the guy to apologize to each of us, which he does, and says that what happened should be between us, and noone else. The guy is warned from doing anything similar again. She helps us clean up the traces of blood, and airs out the smell of sex, so that the other people in the house won't realize what has happened. She then drives the guy home. When she gets back, the people of the house haven't come up from bed yet, and my girlfriend and I have barely been talking while we cleared away the rest of the mess.

Since he didn't use a condom, she drives us to a pharmacy and buys us the morrow after pill before taking us home. In the car she tells us that the guy is a shady character, and that she's sorry that had to happened to us. She says it would be best for both parts to just put a lid on it, since rape charges would be difficult, and most likely wouldn't lead to anything, just making everything public. At the end she tells us it needn't be all bad, and that if we are strong, can come out with a stronger relationship. The guy didn't take anything of signifigance, it was just physical. And that at least our first time won't need to be painful for her. I've talked to my girlfriend, and she agrees with this. But I'm not so sure. I know I should have acted and told him no, but I just didn't manage to do that. Still, I don't think it's right that this guy should get away with this....and that's why I'm asking you what to do. We're both 16.

I am very very sorry that this happened to your girlfriend and you in my opinion because you were moreless forced to watch he may as well raped you too. Sad to say the woman that hosted the party that obviously supplied alcohol to miniors was looking out for her own butt and not yours or your girl friends.:mad:
Another one of lifes lessons....Damm......why do they all suck ?

[CJM123]

this is vile. I'm surprised it didn't stop reading this but i had to cause i want to help you out. alcohol is a terrible thing. iv had so many bad experiences with it. i think you and your girlfriend should forget about what happened. and keep away from the guy who did the act. because you don't deserve to be around him

[Texas warrior]

If that motherfu!!er did that to my gf I would have killed him, and I would have taken pleasure form ending a monster like that. I am not a christian but I pray that he burns in hell for all eternity.

I am so sorry for you and your girlfriends loss.

[Quercus]

Wow.. I really wish I didnt click on this thread to be honest with everyone, I have a pit in my stomach and I feel like crying.. Its horrible..
I would have beat the LIVING CRAP! Out of that guy... I sure hope this didnt affect you and your girlfriends relationship.. It would be hard for me to go on though probably, I mean that guy.. that stranger took your girlfriends virginity away from her!

Omg.. I just cant get over this... It hurt so much to read that

[Stargazer]

I don't think it was so much about sex as it was about power. He probably could get regular sex with whatever dumb chick, instead he got to lay on top of a girl half his weight, open up and stretch out her vagina, and have her boyfriend watch him dumping his load in her. If this was the middle ages, she'd probably be carrying his baby. It was all about him feeding his ego and showing that "I can impose myself on you in whatever way I want."

We've started having regular sex now. For now we use a condom, although I don't think she has gotten any std's. Our relationship is going well, although for me it's kind of upsetting that she describes having sex with him was painful at first, then intrusive, and then starting to feel good. She says that any sex will feel good to some extent, and I guess I'll have to trust her on that. Still, it's another blow to my ego.

[antiabort]

Why is everyone screaming rape/abuse? It looks to me like she got drunk and got horny. or am I missing something?

[Texas warrior]

He took advantage of a drunk teen what the hell is right with that?

[antiabort]

I don't mean to sound cold but maybe she shouldn't have drank so much?

[Texas warrior]

you should be able to get stupid drunk at a friends house and not have to worry about getting raped. Am I right?

[Truth]

What the hell.. you let this happen? Am I reading it right?

He went down on your girlfriend infront of you and you just let this old man abuse her? I would have stabbed the dude, literally. I am just baffled you let this happen. I am so damn angry, I can't believe you OP... you're supposed to protect your girlfriend. How am I the first person in this thread to mention the fact the sat there, and watch another man fuck his minor girlfriend when she is obviously resisting and drunk out of her mind?

What is wrong with you Stargazer? I would honestly put half of the blame for this incident all on you. I regret reading this thread. Shame on you 1000 times, Stargazer. I hope your girlfriend can get through this, and a decent boyfriend.

If I ever let this happen in front of me, I know I would hate myself even more than the guy taking advantage of her. "I was too drunk to help stop my girlfriend from being raped" is not an excuse, so I don't apologize for this offensive post.

[Toto]

This sounds horrible.
No one has the right to take an advantage of a drunken person. It`s also worse to know that he took her virginity too. But I`m still confused, I meam, Why would you just sit there and watch your girlfriend get raped? You should`ve taken some action. The man who did it shouldn`t just get away with an apology either.

[Donkey]

What the hell.. you let this happen? Am I reading it right?

He went down on your girlfriend infront of you and you just let this old man abuse her? I would have stabbed the dude, literally. I am just baffled you let this happen. I am so damn angry, I can't believe you OP... you're supposed to protect your girlfriend. How am I the first person in this thread to mention the fact the sat there, and watch another man fuck his minor girlfriend when she is obviously resisting and drunk out of her mind?

What is wrong with you Stargazer? I would honestly put half of the blame for this incident all on you. I regret reading this thread. Shame on you 1000 times, Stargazer. I hope your girlfriend can get through this, and a decent boyfriend.

If I ever let this happen in front of me, I know I would hate myself even more than the guy taking advantage of her. "I was too drunk to help stop my girlfriend from being raped" is not an excuse, so I don't apologize for this offensive post.
The last post in this thread was two months ago. :locked: