I want to try to talk to my dad. I need advice

[Twistember]

My parents are divorced. I don't have visitation with my dad. We don't really have a relationship. For the first time in 4 years he sent me a card on my birthday that said 'I miss you'. I cried. I don't think I'm ready to have a full face to face or phone conversation with him, so I thought writing him a letter would be a good idea. The thing is, there was no return address on the card. I don't know what that means: does he not want me to send him anything back? But he said he misses me. I'm really confused, actually. I'm kind of afraid to talk to my mom about it, I don't know why. Kind of scared too.

My main questions are:
Why was there no return address?
How do I talk to my mom about it?
Why am I stressing out about this so much?
Why am I crying over a man who hit my mom, stole her money, and ditched me and didn't try to make any contact with me for 4 years?

Thanks for your help.

[AppealToReason]

Why was there no return address?
No one here can tell you why because there are soooo many possibilities. Only your dad, or possibly mom, can answer this.

How do I talk to my mom about it?
Just ask her. Will it be awkward? Yep, but you still have a right to know about him. If she doesn't want to talk about it, ask again another day. But, respect her wishes if she doesn't want you to know. Questions four says he abused her, so she most likely will not want you making contact with him. But, let her know if you decide to send him a letter. Don't do it behind her back or anything.

Why am I stressing out about this so much?
Because you miss your dad? You want to see him again? You want to know him? I don't know. This is something only you can answer. I can't dig inside your head and tell you why you're feeling the way you are, only you can do that. My guess is that you just want to see him. I did too, for the longest time when I was younger.

Why am I crying over a man who hit my mom, stole her money, and ditched me and didn't try to make any contact with me for 4 years?
Because, no matter what, he is still your father. Fathers are supposed to love and raise their kids and he hasn't done that for you in four years, so it's normal to feel hurt. My dad kidnapped me when I was five, hit me, left me alone with friends, starved me, and then went without contact for a decade before sending me child support/my first gift from him. Even through that, I miss him. I may never forgive him, but there are nights where I do cry over him. If he sent me a letter like your dad did, I would cry too because I always wanted to have a father there for me. That's want just about anyone would want. A loving, caring father. Sadly, a lot of us don't get that, but it doesn't mean we still don't want it.

Damn, this post was probably a bunch of rambling. Sorry, it's late and I'm not exactly sober. <.<
I hope something in here helped you, haha.

[TheHumanSpirit]

I agree with AppealToReason. (1) There could've been no return address because he wants to talk with you face-to-face, though if he's missing you so much, there is some doubt to this being the actual reason. (2) You know your mom better than anyone, so bring it up to her how you know she would take it best. I feel (3) and (4) were best answered by ATR.

[Abyssal Echo]

idk why your dad would try to pop into your life after 4 years. but I will say this atleast he thought enough of you to send the card. I tried several time to get to know my Dad.....yea I knew who and where he was but I could not get in I wanted 2 know the person he would not let me in.....never a card at my birthday or xmas not even a call...nows hes gone the door is shut forever. yea sometimes I cry but I know that I tried. what he did was his choice and not my fault. I guess I am a bit jelious u still have a window of oppertunity....I have none. I sorry I got 2 go

[Abyssal Echo]

[QUOTE=Twistember;1558371]My parents are divorced. I don't have visitation with my dad. We don't really have a relationship. For the first time in 4 years he sent me a card on my birthday that said 'I miss you'. I cried. I don't think I'm ready to have a full face to face or phone conversation with him, so I thought writing him a letter would be a good idea. The thing is, there was no return address on the card. I don't know what that means: does he not want me to send him anything back? But he said he misses me. I'm really confused, actually. I'm kind of afraid to talk to my mom about it, I don't know why. Kind of scared too.

My main questions are:
Why was there no return address? IDK...made ashamed of where he's living or with out an addy u or ur mom can't sand the law after him for contacting u
How do I talk to my mom about it? I guess take the card with and talk to her about it
Why am I stressing out about this so much? fear of the unknown
Why am I crying over a man who hit my mom, stole her money, and ditched me and didn't try to make any contact with me for 4 years?
IDK that either.....my mom and dad finally divorced when I was like 5 1/2.
the 1st time he walked out I was about 2 1/2 he emptied out the bank accounts too we lost about everything except personal stuff the car got repoed. I dont know what to say I guess for some twisted reason I loved my Father so I kept trying to get to know the man....like I said before He would never let me in.
(QUOTE)
I am sorry for the other day.....I thought I was over him..... guess not....but after a good cry I feet better. I hope this atleast lets you know you are not alone there are others that have gone down the same path.