How did your parents find out? And how did they react?

[beebs]

I was just wondering about how your parents found out, and how they reacted?

I want to here stories as im thinking of letting my mum know, so any stories would be much thanked:)

[Kaius]

Heres a thread with quite a few replies that may help you:
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1194837&highlight=Cutting#post1194837

[jbraud]

i told my mom last week after finding some broken razors and other sharp things in my room. she told me that she guessed that i did, and said that she wouldnt force me to get help or anything unless i told her i needed to. she also was very supportive and said she was gonna try to understand it better so that i could talk to her about it if i needed to. i will admit i was really surprised by her reaction cause i expected much worse

[Purplepeace]

The first persone who found out was my sister, in 2008: we were singing with SingStar (It was a Nirvana song, I still remember) and she saw the cut as I was holding the mic. She was very, very discreet and just told me "What happened?"
Well, my mom seems to be able to hear anything you say and she came up to me: I won't lie, it was awful. She screamed, told me I was sick and I needed to go to a therapist but I did not want to, I just kept telling her "I am not crazy".
Then, the morning after I went to another city for a concert with my choir and we never talked about it again till a few months ago.
I've always though she was convinced that I tried to kill myself, so I told her: "You know when yuo saw the cuts? I was trying to kill myself, I did it for years now."
And she told me: "I know." And I was like "What?!"
But than she told me that she always knew that I was a self cutter and that everybody is a self harmer in his own way. Obviously she was sad about but I started to go to a therapist (for other problems) a few months before and she told me she was sure that someday I will be able to be calm and to face problems in another way.

So, yes. At first she was mad but then she became very supportive.

[Mutibann]

The first time my mom found out, my friend told her cuz he was mad at me. It was really awkward because she showed me her scars from when she did it. When I started again I just told her cuz I thought she could help. She just told me to stop and made me promise not to do it again.

[Aubrie]

My mom has found out three times. Sorry this will be kind of long.

The first time she read my diary (sometime in late 2008). I came home from school one day and she came charging out of her room. She said, "Get your ass in my room!" I had absolutely no idea what she was going on about. When I got in there, she told me to undress. This of course shocked me completely. I got down to my tank top and panties, then she told me to stand on the bed; I did. She started grabbing at my arms and legs, twisting them over. I was still confused until she hissed, "I read in your diary that you cut yourself!" I don't really remember how I reacted. After checking me over and not finding anything (she has bad eyesight and didn't know what the scars looked like, so she couldn't see them), she got on my Yahoo! account and searched through my chat logs. She found one where I had talked about it with a friend and printed it out. In a mocking tone, she called down to my brother and said, "Your sister cuts herself." She took my phone and everything that I could potentially harm myself with. She kind of left me alone after that and didn't talk to me for a few days.

The second time I had tried to get help from my youth leader (April 22, 2009). She banned me from going after I came home late and I said, "Well, I'm sorry that I want to stop cutting." All hell broke loose. She called me stupid, said I'd never get into college/amount to anything, screamed, yelled, etc. I hid in my closet and cried for a good portion of the night. Once again she ignored me for a few days and took my phone. She gave me my phone back and apologized kind of. She was just angry because it was the anniversary of my dad's death.

The third time she found out because my friend told her dad, who is a close family friend (August 2009). I can't really remember how she reacted, but it wasn't too bad. She made me sleep in her bed and then took me to the hospital at the discretion of my family doctor. She got me into a therapist finally. The therapist helped her understand cutting, so my mom later apologized about all of the horrible things she said/did.

Hopefully your mom's reaction won't be that bad. To be honest, I suppose I forgive my mom, but it hurts me sooo much still. That was almost 3 years ago, and when I think about it, the words still cut through my heart.

[foreverfree]

i was laying down in my mom's room one day on the phone , and somehow she saw the cuts down my arm . I was so stupid to not hide them well enough then . All she told me was to not let them show up again . I was like wow mom thanks for asking if anything was wrong ..

[bena3217]

me and my dad talked about problms and i threw the blade infrnt him and walked away and later had a talk with him...he wasnt mad he only helped and told me he is there for me and everything was fine...he reacted great and he also cried a little

[jessicajess3]

My friends dad, my mothers boyfriend at the time, had suggested it to her. One day walking home from getting ice cream with her boyfriend and a few of my friends, she asked me what the scars were from, i was surprised by the question, as it had came out of no where. Then she took me behind everyone and i said "i know what your doing" and i didnt say anything and moved forward to walk with my friends. when we got home, she took me into the other room while my friends and her boyfriend were in the living room. She said "how long has this been going on?" and i said for a few months(which wasnt true, it had been going on for about a year and a half) i told her that it wasnt the right time to bring up the subject, considering none of my friends knew. She said she was sorry and she assumed they knew, after that her and her boyfriend went out. the next day my friends all went home, and she said we were going somewhere. i started to panic thinking she was going to put me in a mental hospital. We actually just went shopping, but while we were driving, she made me talk about it. i really didnt want to, and was embarrased and angry. She made me promise not to do it again. Now we dont really ever talk about it anymore.

[sarah newman]

My parents found out 2 years ago and went mental. Screaming and shouting. So I tried to stop but couldn't so I did it less over last year but I become to do it much more lately and they both found out again from my school and shouted, grounded me, got me help, weren't supportive.
Sorry, but I couldn't lie to you.

[fire and water]

I think my mum knows. I know for a fact she reads whatever little things i write in my diary. I think she's seen them a few times. I think she's like, if i pretend they're not there they will go away. A few times she's handed me a jumper or something when i wear short sleeved t-shirts, i'm happy with that arrangement if she is. I think i heard her crying once though; the first time she saw them. I hide them as well as possible to try and protect her, i don't want to make her cry.

[BlueEyedTiger...]

I told my mum in a letter (one of the worst things I ever did) I left it on the side before I went to bed and when I came down the next morning she ignored me until she took me to school, she asked why I did it, how long for? then she went back to ignoring me. a few days later she rang up doctors and made an appointment for me (I was 15) then gave me a piece of paper with questions on it and chocolate and told me to answer them honestly. The doctor told her I would grow out of it but I didn't tell him the truth, to this day she hasn't mentioned it again and that was over a year ago. Its as if she doesn't care.

[Unfortunate1]

My best friend's mom checked his texts on his phone ( he forgot to delete them ) randomly, she does every month, and she saw a text about me cutting so she told him to tell me that I have to tell my dad or she would go to the principle, my dad, and the counsler. I ended up telling him by giving him all my knives and showing him and giving him a bullshit exuse for feeling guilty about my cousin wanted to commit suicide. yeah. I stopped cutting but, as you can see my profile pic, I have sorta taken up the habit again.

[Princess Ariel]

My mom found out Saturday Morning. When my arm was dangling out of my bed.
I woke up.. Around 11 30 - 12 : 00 am, And my eyes went across a sign that said "Intervention".
I wasn't ready to tell her at the time, so I blamed it on my cat.
She still believes it... Or so I think...

[foreverautumn.]

I don't know how my mam found out, but she did, and she was very supportive.
One day we were driving and she just said, "I know that you've been cutting your arms." I didn't deny it, and she just asked whether my psychologist knew, I said yes, and she was just glad I was getting help. Later she tried to get me to show her but I wouldn't let her. I still don't talk about it with her, but she watches me quite closely these days.

[xLegendofLink096x]

After a rough breakup, I carved "Love" from about my wrist to my elbow.
I went to grab something that was high up and my sleeve fell down and my stepmom saw it.
They signed me up for therapy and made me put Vitamin E oil on it to stop it from scarring.

[stuckinmystraw]

My mother started watching my depression and anorexia really closely and then noticed I was always wearing long sleeves or hoodies. Then I left a pair of scissors in the shower by accident a few times and she grabbed my wrists and forced me to tell the truth. It was off to the hospital immediately for me.
After the hospital there were a lot of body checks and treatment centers. I actually still cut today though, however she trusts me enough not to check. :X

[BluSapphireEyes]

I was just wondering about how your parents found out, and how they reacted?

I want to here stories as im thinking of letting my mum know, so any stories would be much thanked:)

The very first time she found out, I'm pretty sure I showed her the scars and said "look, Mom. This is how I feel. Every day." She told me to get over myself. That was almost 5 years ago and I'm still struggling, unfortunately. :\

[Craig1995]

My dad found the razors I had pulled apart in my dressing gown pocket but I do lots of things like that so they weren't surprised

[Rawiyah]

My mom did not know until I was in the ER for ODing.
They forced me to strip so they could expose all of my self inflicted cuts and injuries and they told my parents about it...

I think if it weren't for that incident, they would have never known.

[Mortal Coil]

my mom saw my razor blades and mentioned them to me once, but after that completely ignored it.

[CutsAndPerfection]

My mom found blood in the toilet and asked me if I had, um.. "started" and I said no, and she asked why there was blood so I made up some lame excuse about my dog scratching me. I could tell she wasn't believing it, so she was like "... are you cutting yourself?" and i said "i don't know" because i really was kinda speechless that she found out... but she was so freaked out that she asked me where my cuts were then made me pull down my shorts some so she could see the cuts and I went to school so close to crying. (this all happened on the way to school in the car) My mom nearly sent me to a psychiatric hospital, but I got her to talk to my counselor and she wasn't so scared... but my mom has only asked twice since she found out (over 3 months ago) if I've been cutting, and i think that kind of hurts me because i feel like she doesn't care or it doesn't matter... but oh well. Hope that helps! feel free to message me :)

[Myhopesarelost96]

My mom found out in Walmart. I went there without long sleeves on, at first she freaked out but then we didn't talk about it. She told me not to do it again and I sais okay. Then I did it angain and about a month later she found out and sent me to a behavioral health center

[BrokenButterflies]

One day I was wearing a short skirt (like knee lenght) and my blanket moved it in such a way that it went up higher on my leg and showed my cuts. My mom was standing right next to me, and asked, "what's that?". I told her my rabbit had scratched me when I was holding her. She just said, "oh...okay", and that was it.
The way she said it though, I knew she knew and I was scared she was going to tell my dad, so I just went to her and told her the truth.
She was fairly pissed. She chewed me out, saying things like "I know you've been through a lot in your life, but nothing has happened lately that you should be doing this to your self," and "Where did I go wrong as a mother", but didn't scream and yell at me. She just let her dissapointment flow openly. She also admitted to me that she'd know for a long time, and just hadn't wanted to cause trouble with me by saying anything. To which I'm like, "Gee thanks mom, just let me slice myself up every day. It's SO much better then confronting me". She didn't ask me why I did it ether, or if I was okay or if there was anything she could do to help...She just said if she ever saw me doing it again she would tell my dad, which is a threat worst then death.
That was right before bed, and the next day she just acted like it didn't happen, and the subject has never risen again. All in all, I suppose it could have been much worse.

[MarkySkatesDeathwish]

my fucked up guidance counselor told my mom because my fucking friends told the counselor and when i got home i got yelled at for hours and then my mom called a bunch of people asking what she should do. i was pissed at her for a long time and i cussed out my counselor for calling her again. she wouldnt understand and she started crying one night when i cut so deep that the blade stayed in :/ i got lucky too that i didnt bleed to death that night..

[ambern]

I told my school therapist and at first her and I made a non-harm contract instead of informing my parents. However, when I broke it she brought my dad in and told him about it. He wasn't angry or upset with me, but I could tell he was hurt. I had to go to the hospital that day too for suicidal thoughts and that's when my mom found out. She had the same reaction, but I'm she had her suspicions so I don't think it was a surprise to her at all. It's... different having your parents know but it also means you don't have to hide your scars at home anymore and you can get the help and support you need.