Should I come out?

[Ryukie]

So I’m 16, female and bisexual. Only one of my friends know this but she’s no longer at my school. When she came out all the girls reacted really horribly and thought she fancied them. I want to come out because I’m sick of pretending to be interested in the guys in my year when mostly, I’m more interested in girls. I don’t want them to react in the same way they did to my friend, but lying takes a lot of effort.

Another complication is that my school is really quite homophobic, especially my head of 6th form. The girls in my year can be really brutal and I don’t know if it’s worth it, but lying is kinda painful. Yes, I know I’m rambling, but it reflects how I’m feeling really quiet well. Any advice is welcome (:

[scottnesss]

you should only come out if you feel ready and if you want to, its not our place to tell you if you should.

the homophobia can be hard to deal with but you have to decide if it is worth it; some hate for being yourself or no hate and lying.
I dont know how the english system works, but if you want, you could hold on until your last year or even until you have left in order to bypass the homophobia.
Tell your friends and things may be easier for you, by telling them you will also see who is a true friend :)

all my love and good luck <3

[wattado]

i am bi also i am probably try to come out in the next few months and i know how you feel about it being too much work to lie. but dont come out if you dont want people to talk. and just remember you are still you no matter wat and if people cant except it then too bad for them its your life so live it the way you want to.

[Darkness.]

Only come out if your ready to come out, just be ready for whatever come your way.

[CrossingtheCourtyard]

It's a terrible thing to have to lie, but you should consider your personal safety.

If you think that coming out would put your well being at stake, than you need to carefully evaluate your situation and think about just how homophobic your school is and think about your home life. If you were being harassed would you be able to go to a teacher or other official? What would your family do/say? Would they support you no matter what?

I think it's a good idea to come out in general... just be safe about it, okay? You don't want to get hurt.

P.S. If you do come out, and your friends think you like any of them, simply tell them that just because you like girls too it doesn't mean you like them in particular.

[TheMightyBruce]

Yea...like Music, I recently found out I'm bi. I would take into consideration of which people you can trust and can't. In a homophobic environment such as yours, I'd suggest not to come out just yet.

[Ryukie]

Thanks for the advice, it's a lot more constructive than my parents' (:

I know I could go to some teachers about harassment, but it's so uncommon that people come out in our school I'm not sure how they'd take it. A lesbian couple was chucked out of our prom for kissing when straight couples were doing a lot worse, but they got away with it.

I guess waiting might be a better option?

[CrossingtheCourtyard]

Thanks for the advice, it's a lot more constructive than my parents' (:

I know I could go to some teachers about harassment, but it's so uncommon that people come out in our school I'm not sure how they'd take it. A lesbian couple was chucked out of our prom for kissing when straight couples were doing a lot worse, but they got away with it.

I guess waiting might be a better option?

I would suggest only going to a teacher that you really trust or like enough with something that personal, that way they will for sure support you and try and stop any bullying going on.

They were thrown out? Well, if they were thrown out by school officials and no legal action was taken against the school--which it should have been, in my opinion--I would suggest treading lightly with any females you enter relationships with. If the school frowns that much on same sex couples, then try and handle things delicately.

That's not to say I'm suggesting you stay 'closeted.' If you genuinely feel that you would be happier coming out, than I say go ahead and do it! Just, y'know, be ready to face whatever the world has to throw at you.

[wattado]

do watever the safest option is and if waiting is that then i suggest waiting.

[Ryukie]

do watever the safest option is and if waiting is that then i suggest waiting.

I think I'll wait until I leave-it will cause the least about of fuss

RedMirror-That was the head of 6th form and nothing was done about it. It's a former Catholic school, so I guess waiting is safer.

[canadaski]

I think I'll wait until I leave-it will cause the least about of fuss

RedMirror-That was the head of 6th form and nothing was done about it. It's a former Catholic school, so I guess waiting is safer.

I think that the earlier you come out the better. You may keep putting it off, consciously or subconsciously. The last thing I want to be is a 30 year old closet case that could never bring himself to say the words "I'm gay." There will always be people that will dislike you for being who you are. Remind yourself that they are the ones lower down on the societal scales for subjecting you to their hateful remarks. Use logic and intellect against them; try asking them exactly why they don't like gays. Most won't be able to form a worthwhile answer. You could also ask them if their hate has ever made their life better or put them or anyone around them in a better position.

It's ultimately your choice whether or not to come out but I'll let you know that myself and millions of others stand up for who you are, that's more than the haters can say. No matter how many people act out against you; students, teachers, administration, politicians. There are 100 times the number and stature of those people that are willing to support you.

[Ryukie]

It's ultimately your choice whether or not to come out but I'll let you know that myself and millions of others stand up for who you are, that's more than the haters can say. No matter how many people act out against you; students, teachers, administration, politicians. There are 100 times the number and stature of those people that are willing to support you.

Thanks for that dude, the support is awesome and it's good to know it's there. :)

When I go to Uni, I will be open about it from the start. I just don't know 1) If there's much point coming out for the last year and a bit of 6th form and 2) If it's worth the abuse I'll get for it.

Oh I agree about them not finding a worthwhile answer, it's always "It's just wrong" and then they struggle to elaborate.

[Fourth Dimension]

come out when YOU are ready

[Ace007]

I think it's really up to yu, if yu feel it's right to do it .. Good luck on what ever yu do there ...

[Ryukie]

Cheers guys (: