I want to die

[Kdude146]

I know I have posted in here a week ago but I hostnly don't want to live anymore.

my whole life has been nothing but pain. this week I have hit the end and I mean it this time I really like this guy and I thought he really liked me too I got a really sweet e-mail from him Dec 24th and then when I talk to him on Dec 26th he said to me why don't you talk to someone else and deletes me for no reason on everything I had him on. I have tryed contacting him but he won't reply and I thought he was diffrent from other guys cuz he seamed to like me for me and not looks or money. Also my parents wont let me do the college program I want cuz that would mean I would be moving out. The program I want is child and youth worker and you can't to that program at the college in my city. They want me to stay home and become an educational assistant and I don't want to do that. They said that they will pay for my schooling and if I wanted to move out I am on my own for paying for that. I have a part time job and I want to take a lone out as well but no they won't let me. Tonight my dad said I am worthless cuz I did not like the dinner we had. I hold stuff in a lot and tonight after him yelling at me for that I let it out by crying cuz I do that every now and again.

everything I do never goes the way I plan it and I know thats life but I see other always getting what they want and it makes me so mad that I fail at everything I do. I don't even know what keeps me going anymore cuz my life sucks I just want to live my life my way but no one is ever going to let me and I know I have friends on here that care about me but I don't think I can take it any more mustly everyone is trying to run my life and I don't want to live if I can't do what I want.

[Twistember]

I wanted to die too. I'm not going to give you some inspirational story about how I overcame it, because I haven't. Life is hard. It doesn't matter who you are. Sometimes I feel like it's a test. Not to sound harsh. but you don't really want to die. If you really wanted to die, you wouldn't be on here asking for advice, you'd be dead.

Not to be all pedophile-ish but I see that your age is 18. Dude, you are considered an adult. You can do what you want. Your bank account, your money. Your parents can't tell you that you can't take out a loan.

Even if you can't choose the career you want right now, just push through what your parents have chosen for you. After you get enough money, quit and do what you want. My cousin did that.

I'm not really a people person and I'm not good at giving advice. So I'm sorry if this is scattered and weird.

[Kdude146]

well I don't want to waste me time in school doing something I don't want to do and if I don't do what they want me to do then they won't help pay for school

[wattado]

i feel worthless all the time. i hate the feeling but i always have it. you should do wat you want and if they wont help pay then you can get a job and eventually get what you want and that will show you arnt worthless because you were able to acomplish something. but ending your life isnt worth it ive thought about it before and i keep reminding myself that its gonna get better soon. it will all get better soon.

[XxfakexX]

It would be hypocritical of me to say don't kill yourself, but it isn't good. It doesn't make you feel better or solve problems, just adds. As said, you are legally an adult so you can take out your own loan then pay it back later. You'd still be doing what your parents wan't but in your own way. Maybe you could try to get them to see it from your perspective? Also not related but it nice that you want to be a child and youth worker.

[Stronger]

Thats horrible what your dad said just because you didn't like that. Kevin you are definatly not worthless, you have a bright future ahead, your parents cant hold you back forever, its your life, you get to decide what you wanna do, not them and as for that boy as hard as it may sound, you need to just move on from him, there are ton of other people out there, I'm sure you will find the one that will love you and care for you every second of your life.

[Kdude146]

everyone thanks I am not going to kill myself cuz I am stronger then that I just get this way a lot cuz nothing goes my way and atm I don't really care whats going to happen in my future sure there are so many things I want but right now I think maybe its time for me to just sit back and see what happens to me and I will keep trying to get my parents to see things my way but it's going to be hard cuz my dad is so closed mined and he always gets what he wants

[Stronger]

everyone thanks I am not going to kill myself cuz I am stronger then that I just get this way a lot cuz nothing goes my way and atm I don't really care whats going to happen in my future sure there are so many things I want but right now I think maybe its time for me to just sit back and see what happens to me and I will keep trying to get my parents to see things my way but it's going to be hard cuz my dad is so closed mined and he always gets what he wants

Your dad may be like that but at the end of the day its your life, your discession on what you wanna do with your life. I wish you all the luck, and im sure things will get better. :)

[Invincible]

Hey Kev.
I hope you know everything happens for a reason. Sometimes things go to plan and sometimes they don't - many people live hard lives while some are fortunate to have things go their way.

Remember you always have a purpose in life - and that there'll always be things in the way to stop you. Don't end it now.

The one piece of advice I give to everyone who's feeling down - the unwritten books, unestablished companies, unearned fame all lie in those who choose not to harness their abilities. They all end up in the grave - and it'll only be a waste if you follow suit.

Things have been like that over the past couple of years myself. I was really smart, decently sporty and led a well balanced and happy social life until many things collapsed - I even found myself at the rooftop of a tall building. Waiting to jump.

There could be reasons as to why your parents don't want you to go. As I got older, I learned to reason out all the "no"s I've received in my life. There were reasons behind it all and I'm thankful for not rebuking it at the time - as much as I was disappointed. You just have to put your time and energy towards things that are meaningful - sow the right seeds and invest your time wisely even if you aren't in the best of situations and make the most out of it.

I'll guarantee you'll come out a few years later with a different outlook on life.

[Fiction]

I'm glad you made the decision not to end it, because you're right, you are stronger than that.

I've been in the position where I honestly want to die, i've attempted and ended up in hospital, but i've realised that things get better. After my attempt my mind started holding on to anything and everything it could. I reasoned that going through this would make me a better, stronger person. That what I went through would make me who I was going to be, and anything good that happened in the future would be a direct result if who I was, and therefore my past experience.

Life is shit alot of the times, but there are things that make it worth it. There will be another guy to go out with, probably one that's better. There was for me after I attempted.

If you give up now you'll never know what you're life holds.