Did anyone feel like Christmas was an act?

[RustyRockets]

I've been feeling guilty for a few days because for me the holidays were just a huge lie. I love my family to bits and so I'd never let them understand what is happening to me, which makes all the smiles and laughter and joy so forced. I literally feel exhausted after a whole day of pretending I'm ok, like I'm in a play. I've been in long sleeves the whole time because my arm is such a mess and even now I'm having to put a brave face on parties and family meals.

My girlfriend arrives home today and I'm worried to even tell her, in case that's another christmas ruined. I wish I could just explode, let it all out, all the facts and everyone just go "ok" and us move on. I hate acting through Christmas!

[bena3217]

have you tried talking to somebody about it? remember cutting is never the answer...it causes more pain that relief....it will make you feel good for a while...but i think you will agree with me its fucking sore...and why do you want to put yourself through that pain? if you dont like the acting...then that is something to motivate you to stop...your girlfriend is another one...you wont ruine chrismas because you have problems...people have to understand and instead of making you feel bad they should help you...try and talk to somebody...i know its hard...but the only way to help a problem is to talk it out rather that try and fuck yourself up through cutting...its not needed and i know you are strong enough to stop...just make the choice and stick with it...tell yourself you are strong and you dont want it anymore...cutting is not the answer...rather take your GF out or do something else...i found the rubber band thing very affective...try it...but dont cut yourself! its just not worth messing yourself up

[NightFighter]

Tis the season to pretend everything is fantastic.

Everyone is told to enjoy themselves and be merry during this season. We are told we need to be more happy. We don't feel worse, we just feel like we do because we're supposed to feel better. Everyone pretends. We all fake happiness for each other. Yeah, Christmas is a lie but be honest, when you aren't worrying about having a good time, you are having a good time.

I understand there is pressure to have a good time and to be happy but don't feel you have to. No one can be happy all of the time. Christmas isn't a cure to mental illness'.

Im fluttering around the point.

What im trying to say is- don't overdo yourself. We're all feeling the same. Make an effort for your family but when it gets too tough, leave, have a break, then join in again. There isn't any pressure for you to be there all of the time.

And take care
x

[kelseypr]

I know thats hard, I honestly can say I understand.

But instead of making this a negative thing..... Christmas is technically supposed to be happy right? Well, along with Christmas comes the New Year... Which means a new, fresh start. What better way to start your new year than to gain the love and support from your family to help you with your situation?

Your family could never be angry with you for feeling the way you do, I'm sure all they would want to do is be there for you, and help you to get your happiness back.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you... If you need someone to talk to, I'm always open!