Losin it.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

I've never posted here.. and I swore when I joined I never would.. But I've lost it.

I can't stand the site of food. It's worse and worse and worse. The site of food makes me nauseous. I cringe at the site of food. I run at the site of food. Literally.

It doesn't help my case that we're on vacation.. and there's so much fast food and restaurants people want to go to.. It's killing me. I feel myself getting fatter and fatter. Every sandwich.. every piece of chicken.. everything. I feel it and it hurts. I'm puking after almost every meal I force down. I just can't eat it.

No one listens. No one cares. I keep trying and trying to say to someone I can't eat this. That it's more than an 'I don't like this'.. that it's an I can't eat this or I will be sick. They don't listen. They don't care. No one fucking cares.

I hate food. I fucking hate it. It's' killing me. I don't wanna eat. I wanna keep starving. I honestly never wanna see another piece of food again. ever.

[Mutibann]

Well that's not good. I just realized I'm kinda the same when it comes to food, which scares the hell outa me. I guess you should talk to someone about it? idk if that would help or not.

[Amaryllis]

When I was suffering from my eating disorders, I convinced myself and everyone around me that I didn't like food, that fast food, sweets, carrots and basically everything didn't taste good.

It sounds like you're suffering from bulimia, Val. And truly, it's not that no one cares they just don't realise or don't know what to do. No one spoke to me when I was going through that extremely difficult period of time - maybe they're afraid of facing the truth. Saying it's more than not-liking food isn't clear enough, you need to say you're afraid you have an eating disorder and you need professional help.

Make sure you have websites or books in hand to give your guardians/whoever you speak to. Keep your cool and explain it to them. It's much easier seeking help in the early days than to wait till later on when you're so far caught in your ED.

Stay strong, V. I will always be here for you.

[Fiction]

Val, I understand exactly how you feel. :hug:

I know how hard it is. Have you actually told your parents? Have you told them exactly how you feel about food? Because from my experience parents generally don't get hints and tips, it wasn't until my doctor told my mum that I had an eating disorder that they finally got it. Then maybe you can get help which it sounds like you need.

Starving yourself and making yourself sick is not effective at all. It causes you to put on more weight in the end and it damages your body no end. There are much healthier ways to lose weight, and much more sustainable ways. You're going to destroy your immune system like I did mine, and you'll only end up heavier when you recover.

I'm always here if you need to talk Val xx