Who should initiate a hug?

[Pig on the Wing]

Being an extremely tall guy, I feel awkward hugging the opposite gender; always have. I really enjoy it though.

I have never really felt right initiating them for some reason. Even when the girl initiates it with me, I always have this momentary pause before following through. Then I hold on too long.

Basically, I'm asking for advice when it comes to the obligatory end-of-hangout hug.

Should I, the guy, ever try to initiate it?
Where's the least awkward place to hold her?
How do I know when to stop?

[digbycooper]

I usually hold her a little above the waist, while she goes for my shoulders. I've been told before that these hugs are good....but i dunno if she could reach your shoulders seen as you're so tall....

Count one-and-a-half Mississippi's :P

[DeFacto]

I kinda get your point, as I am quite tall myself too...

[jockguy14]

Yea the "end of hangout" hug is always weird. Last night there were two girls who I had just met at the party. One of them gave me a hug, the other didn't. To me, it's totally up to the girl. I don't really care if you don't give me a hug, I mean we just met I can understand it.

[jockguy14]

It's also weird when the girl expects to give one though. But really once you've hugged once, then you know the policy and it's a lot less awkward after that.

[Kronk]

Agreed, once you hug its easy and less awkward-but yeah def around the waist or lower back and shell prolly go round your neck, and honestly if I'm hittin on a girl I expect a hug so I'll make something up and be like "oh- we have that in common? That deserves a hug!" and then they hug you so you don worry bout starting it- and well now you said you have something in common so maybe she'll think bout it

[Gordo]

wow, i think you're over analyzing it. If you want a hug from someone, go for it. That's all the thought you need to put into it. Really. You don't need to count the seconds either when he or she is done with it, they'll break it off. It's one of those lame "be yourself" things. If you feel awkward giving hugs, don't do 'em. If you like it, initiate it. Heck, look at my profile pic! I'll hug at the drop of a hat and my friends know it, so when they need one, they know who to come to, just like I know who to go to. When you see other people, you can tell who is comfortable and who isn't.

it good to be comfy in your own skin. btw, how tall are you?

[Pig on the Wing]

wow, i think you're over analyzing it. If you want a hug from someone, go for it. That's all the thought you need to put into it. Really. You don't need to count the seconds either when he or she is done with it, they'll break it off. It's one of those lame "be yourself" things. If you feel awkward giving hugs, don't do 'em. If you like it, initiate it. Heck, look at my profile pic! I'll hug at the drop of a hat and my friends know it, so when they need one, they know who to come to, just like I know who to go to. When you see other people, you can tell who is comfortable and who isn't.

it good to be comfy in your own skin. btw, how tall are you?

Freakin' LOL! I'm always down for bro-hugs!

I'm about 6'2".
I'm really outgoing and talkative; I just don't carry the same confidence when hugging a girl...

Maybe girls are less touchy about hugs than I think...

[unnamed94]

depends on the girl. i can hug my friends anytime without it being wierd, it doesnt matter who initiates it. if the girl is someone i just barely know or i dont have that much confidence with them i sometimes wait for them to start it to avoid an awkward moment, although i dont think it at all most of the times. just hug them a little bit above the waist as someone else said. you should know when to stop it. dont overthink this too much

[Gordo]

Freakin' LOL! I'm always down for bro-hugs!

I'm about 6'2".
I'm really outgoing and talkative; I just don't carry the same confidence when hugging a girl...

Maybe girls are less touchy about hugs than I think...

That's pretty tall, but that just means I might have to drag you down to my level, 5'9. As for confidence with girls, I think you nailed with they are probably less touchy than you think. I'm not too tall, so I'm more on their level, so i get that. At least by being tall when you bend over to hug her, your package isn't up against her.

I'll admit I'm more careful with girls i just met though. It's shorter than with people i know well. But... I'll get "yelled at" sometimes by some girls cuz once in a while, she'll say something like, "Hey, hers/his was longer than mine" or "or theirs was better and i was told you were a good hugger". When that happens, I dive right back in baby!


I'll share some awk hug moments:

Once in a while, I'll be going in for one with a girl and I won't know which side I'm goin' for and I'll get some boob with it. I don't wanna be a gropper or too handsy so I just smh and raise my eye brows with an oops expression and i'll tell 'em it was an accident, which it was.

Went for a chest bump after an assist that led to a goal. Chests bumped, but so did our cups. After the game, i was like, man i didn't mean to knock cups, that's just embarrassing. He said, what's embarrassing is you talking about it now. I was stunned/embarrassed/ashamed until he started laughing saying it's no big deal.

And then theres this one. A buddy of mine was coming back from vacation this past summer after being gone for 10 days, def a close friend. He came over, parked on the drive way, I go out to greet him right after he gets out of his car and we had a hello bear hug, cheek to cheek, with my mouth by his ear and i say "I really missed you man" He's taller than me so he then decides to lean back which pretty much has me not supporting my own weight and says something like "me too, i'm really excited to see you too".

My mind immediately jumps to the "sexually excited" which is a little sick, but that's what it did, so when he was lowing me I paid attention to see if he meant it how I initially interpreted it. I couldn't tell, I felt a soft lump, so I said "yeah I can tell you are" and pushed my front into his. Totally awkward in that moment for me, he just laughed at the time, but brought it up later. Man I might cut and paste this to a blog if I can figure that feature out.

[nazzac]

I have this thing where i never instigate anything, but conversations with girls. I don't want to hug a girl that doesn't want to hug me back, and i always have this thought of, if i try to instigate one, but don't get a reply, it would be awkward