VLTOR
December 19th, 2011, 01:43 AM
My story goes back several years from now. I have never been that good with women, and it took me way to long to figure out how to act around them. For a long time I never really talked to them. I had lots of guy friends, but never really knew how to approach the opposite sex successfully. As a result, I never really tried. Through middle school it wasn't a big deal. Dating was still not anything serious for anyone during that time. I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about. By the end of 8th grade and more in high school, through hormones, instinct, and curiosity in general, I started talking to girls more. It started off mostly in class, and then friendly texting and such. Unfortunately I was so clueless I ruined all of these encounters within a year.
My first recollection of this was the summer before high school. I had been talking with a girl I had like for a while by then, and she kept asking me who I liked and all sorts of silly things like that. I couldn't take a hint. After a few weeks of this game, I finally told her that I did in fact like her. I really didn't know what to expect. Girls don't ask out guys, at least from what I understood. I was hoping she would say she liked me too, and then I would ask her out. Bad idea. I don't remember the details but the conversation didn't go on much longer as things became very awkward. I think I talked to her over text a few more times, but after that we sort of stopped talking. When school started up later that year, one of her friends told me I should of asked her out. She had really wanted me to. I couldn't believe how stupid I had been. She had moved on by now, as she well deserved.
High School was an interesting transition. There was so many new people, and everyone was talking to everyone. My facebook, as well as others, exploded with friend requests from new classmates, many of which were rather attractive females. I couldn't believe how many girls I was now talking with. It seemed unreal to me. Then I started texting them, and my stupidity killed me. I would send a text, "Hey what are you up to!?" or something like that, and sometimes get the response, "just at the mall, nm.. u? :)" The smiley face wasn't always there but the point is they responded quickly and always seemed interested in talking. It still all seemed so unreal to me that I still couldn't comprehend that these girls actually wanted to talk to me. As if I am really that interesting... I interpreted those texts as, "Im doing something, never mind you..." In other words, a kind way of saying "fuck off". I almost laugh at myself now, for being such an idiot. I don't The problem is, I alienated myself so far from the girls that I liked, that I was never really able to start up a new friendship with others, since I had no real way to hang out with many of the ones I hadn't talked to yet. Before the end of my freshman year, I had already set myself up for dating failure in high school.
Later into my sophomore year, there was a girl that had started hanging out in our "goup" more and I liked her. After what I had done a year earlier, I was in denial that I would ever be able to get a girlfriend, and part of me was even scared of what I would do if I had one. I began thinking, "How would I act? Would she just get bored? I'm not that interesting..." My football practice got out when her track practice was starting, and later would be at the same time as my wrestling practices. We would run around the track to condition while she had her practice. We would talk between these instances, and many times, she would run up to hug me and have a big smile on her face. Sometimes we would have good conversations, other times I wouldn't know what to say, and end up cutting it short to keep it from getting awkward. Oddly enough, I never ended up getting her number, so I couldn't ruin my chances over text like I had in the past. But at the same time, I never pursued her like I should have. Eventually we slowly stopped talking regularly. I assume that I came across as "not interested," so she moved on.
Things started turning around. In my junior year, I met a new girl who would go to the wrestling matches. We talked often between my matches, and I was able to talk to her really well. This was huge to me, especially since she was gorgeous. Winter ball was coming up, be she had already said she would go with another guy. She told me she might go out with him, but that she might not, because there was someone knew(im assuming me. She never would tell me who). So I figured I had a chance if I waited things out. Then, out of nowhere this girl, needed a date desperately to winterball and I ended up going with her. I don't know how she couldn't find a date. She was beautiful. Not only that, but she shared so many things in common with me. We had different personalities, but we both loved the outdoors, and had an assortment of other small things that we shared a common interest in. We just got along well, better than any other girl I had ever met. The dance ended up being the best dance I ever went to. When we left, if felt like we were a couple. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but if you have a significant other that you really care about, you know what I'm talking about. As I walked her out to her car, we held hands and she rested her head on my shoulder. I wanted to ask her out right there, but something stopped me. The other girl had been so nice(so she seemed) and was contemplating leaving the other guy for me(which I later found was true). Not that it was a contest, but the first girl had a near perfect body, so I held out asking the girl I went to winterball with. This was the biggest mistake in my life so far. I have never felt so much regret in my life. The girl from winterball was a beautiful girl, whom I liked very much, but I let her slip away because this other girl liked me too. For the first time in my life, I had not only one, but TWO girls who I really had a chance with. Needless to say, it was too much for me to handle. I ended up talking to the first girl a bit more, and just as the other girl had pretty all but slipped away, I found out that this first girl was really just a whore. She could care less about me, or anyone really. She even wished her parents never adopted her sister. somehow I managed to let all of that slip away. That has been the biggest mistake of my life so far.
Now I'm a senior, and I'm just waiting for the year to be over so I can start fresh in college. I'm hoping that I can take my experiences and learn from them. I hope that I wont make them again, and I hope that by sharing this, others wont follow in my footsteps. Trust me, its a lonely path. All of my friends have had beautiful girlfriends now for nearly a year, and I'm the "3rd wheel", "spare tire", "driving the car" or whatever other clever metaphor you can think of. Its especially hard for me not having single friends because I have nobody to hang out with to find new girls to talk to.
Take from this what you will, and remember to follow your gut. Don't live with the regrets that I have.
My first recollection of this was the summer before high school. I had been talking with a girl I had like for a while by then, and she kept asking me who I liked and all sorts of silly things like that. I couldn't take a hint. After a few weeks of this game, I finally told her that I did in fact like her. I really didn't know what to expect. Girls don't ask out guys, at least from what I understood. I was hoping she would say she liked me too, and then I would ask her out. Bad idea. I don't remember the details but the conversation didn't go on much longer as things became very awkward. I think I talked to her over text a few more times, but after that we sort of stopped talking. When school started up later that year, one of her friends told me I should of asked her out. She had really wanted me to. I couldn't believe how stupid I had been. She had moved on by now, as she well deserved.
High School was an interesting transition. There was so many new people, and everyone was talking to everyone. My facebook, as well as others, exploded with friend requests from new classmates, many of which were rather attractive females. I couldn't believe how many girls I was now talking with. It seemed unreal to me. Then I started texting them, and my stupidity killed me. I would send a text, "Hey what are you up to!?" or something like that, and sometimes get the response, "just at the mall, nm.. u? :)" The smiley face wasn't always there but the point is they responded quickly and always seemed interested in talking. It still all seemed so unreal to me that I still couldn't comprehend that these girls actually wanted to talk to me. As if I am really that interesting... I interpreted those texts as, "Im doing something, never mind you..." In other words, a kind way of saying "fuck off". I almost laugh at myself now, for being such an idiot. I don't The problem is, I alienated myself so far from the girls that I liked, that I was never really able to start up a new friendship with others, since I had no real way to hang out with many of the ones I hadn't talked to yet. Before the end of my freshman year, I had already set myself up for dating failure in high school.
Later into my sophomore year, there was a girl that had started hanging out in our "goup" more and I liked her. After what I had done a year earlier, I was in denial that I would ever be able to get a girlfriend, and part of me was even scared of what I would do if I had one. I began thinking, "How would I act? Would she just get bored? I'm not that interesting..." My football practice got out when her track practice was starting, and later would be at the same time as my wrestling practices. We would run around the track to condition while she had her practice. We would talk between these instances, and many times, she would run up to hug me and have a big smile on her face. Sometimes we would have good conversations, other times I wouldn't know what to say, and end up cutting it short to keep it from getting awkward. Oddly enough, I never ended up getting her number, so I couldn't ruin my chances over text like I had in the past. But at the same time, I never pursued her like I should have. Eventually we slowly stopped talking regularly. I assume that I came across as "not interested," so she moved on.
Things started turning around. In my junior year, I met a new girl who would go to the wrestling matches. We talked often between my matches, and I was able to talk to her really well. This was huge to me, especially since she was gorgeous. Winter ball was coming up, be she had already said she would go with another guy. She told me she might go out with him, but that she might not, because there was someone knew(im assuming me. She never would tell me who). So I figured I had a chance if I waited things out. Then, out of nowhere this girl, needed a date desperately to winterball and I ended up going with her. I don't know how she couldn't find a date. She was beautiful. Not only that, but she shared so many things in common with me. We had different personalities, but we both loved the outdoors, and had an assortment of other small things that we shared a common interest in. We just got along well, better than any other girl I had ever met. The dance ended up being the best dance I ever went to. When we left, if felt like we were a couple. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but if you have a significant other that you really care about, you know what I'm talking about. As I walked her out to her car, we held hands and she rested her head on my shoulder. I wanted to ask her out right there, but something stopped me. The other girl had been so nice(so she seemed) and was contemplating leaving the other guy for me(which I later found was true). Not that it was a contest, but the first girl had a near perfect body, so I held out asking the girl I went to winterball with. This was the biggest mistake in my life so far. I have never felt so much regret in my life. The girl from winterball was a beautiful girl, whom I liked very much, but I let her slip away because this other girl liked me too. For the first time in my life, I had not only one, but TWO girls who I really had a chance with. Needless to say, it was too much for me to handle. I ended up talking to the first girl a bit more, and just as the other girl had pretty all but slipped away, I found out that this first girl was really just a whore. She could care less about me, or anyone really. She even wished her parents never adopted her sister. somehow I managed to let all of that slip away. That has been the biggest mistake of my life so far.
Now I'm a senior, and I'm just waiting for the year to be over so I can start fresh in college. I'm hoping that I can take my experiences and learn from them. I hope that I wont make them again, and I hope that by sharing this, others wont follow in my footsteps. Trust me, its a lonely path. All of my friends have had beautiful girlfriends now for nearly a year, and I'm the "3rd wheel", "spare tire", "driving the car" or whatever other clever metaphor you can think of. Its especially hard for me not having single friends because I have nobody to hang out with to find new girls to talk to.
Take from this what you will, and remember to follow your gut. Don't live with the regrets that I have.