dying on the outside, dead on the inside

[Redrum]

I'm terrified.
I'm terrified that I'm not going to last through this holiday season. I'm continually getting worse, the cuts are getting deeper, more frequent. All this emptiness is eating away at my life. I want to be able to have the strength to get better.
I want one more day. For once I want to go through a day without feeling worthless, helpless, wrong.
This addiction will be the end of me. I'm so tired of fighting it! It kills me to look at my childhood self and see so much potential. Little does she know she'll be dead by 20, never being able to achieve her dreams. I wish I could tell her it's not her fault, and just hold her while she cries.

[bena3217]

jus never give up thats all! self harm is a mind thing...if you tell yourself now your are going to stop and you are confident and you will stay with your choice i promise you know you wont want to cut! that worked for me! 4 days clean and living my life! ive realised its not worth it....its like a drug! it only fucks you up slower than drugs! plz try and stop...distract yourself or get profesional help...whatever needed! its a choice you are going to have to make...cut yourself...leaves marks that would lead to suicide and nothing but pain...or live your life the way you want to! not having the feeling that tomorow you could hang from the roof or something...just make the choice...throw the blades away! throw them out the car! break them and throw them away! just make that choice and tell yourself you are strong enough to stop! forget about the past! it happend and you cant change it! but you can change your future by making this one smaal choice...going over a speed bump in life that lots of people have gotten over! and you can too! i believe you are strong enough!!!