DarkNick
December 17th, 2011, 01:03 PM
I guess that I'm starting to get obsessed with the Depression,loss and grief Forum here! :P
Anyway...
I feel like an optimistic person, caged in a world without colours....
Christmas are coming and I feel so depressed...You know I used to fight it but my defenses are starting to fall down....
My gradma broke her leg in my nameday (and believe me the day was already f*cked up) and she's in hospital atm...I miss her and I love her to death!I don't want to lose her...
My dad on the other side is still dealing with the stroke he had 2 years back...He's getting worse every day.... (I hope he wasn't)
Most of the ppl look at us like cursed or sth with eyes full of sadness but pure I feel sorry for them looking...I-DON'T-WANT-TO-LOOK-AT-ME-LIKE-THAT!!!!!
Why in my family...why?!
Thank God me and my mother are fine...But for how long can we stand this...?
I feel terrible!
In school on the other hand I get bullied (4 years now..).I has improved but I'm sick of living in fear! When I want to respond to their f*cking, hurtful words I just can't...speak....... :(
I'm also confused about personal puberty issues (the usual that most of us deal with)
I'm strong...I know I'm!!! I just can't prove it and show them that I don't want their f*cking sadness, neither their hate! I just want to live a peaceful and normal life away from all these and to show them that who I really am!
But.......
Life's a bitch and hopefully she won't punish me for moaning ('cause I believe in the boomerang thing-if u moan about it you get it x2 of it and stuff...)
Thanks VT for letting me vent all these....
I srsly don't know what would've happened if I hadn't found this site...:wub:
Anyway...
I feel like an optimistic person, caged in a world without colours....
Christmas are coming and I feel so depressed...You know I used to fight it but my defenses are starting to fall down....
My gradma broke her leg in my nameday (and believe me the day was already f*cked up) and she's in hospital atm...I miss her and I love her to death!I don't want to lose her...
My dad on the other side is still dealing with the stroke he had 2 years back...He's getting worse every day.... (I hope he wasn't)
Most of the ppl look at us like cursed or sth with eyes full of sadness but pure I feel sorry for them looking...I-DON'T-WANT-TO-LOOK-AT-ME-LIKE-THAT!!!!!
Why in my family...why?!
Thank God me and my mother are fine...But for how long can we stand this...?
I feel terrible!
In school on the other hand I get bullied (4 years now..).I has improved but I'm sick of living in fear! When I want to respond to their f*cking, hurtful words I just can't...speak....... :(
I'm also confused about personal puberty issues (the usual that most of us deal with)
I'm strong...I know I'm!!! I just can't prove it and show them that I don't want their f*cking sadness, neither their hate! I just want to live a peaceful and normal life away from all these and to show them that who I really am!
But.......
Life's a bitch and hopefully she won't punish me for moaning ('cause I believe in the boomerang thing-if u moan about it you get it x2 of it and stuff...)
Thanks VT for letting me vent all these....
I srsly don't know what would've happened if I hadn't found this site...:wub: