Questions?

[Noxail]

Okay, so My best friend has Bulimia and while I'm trying to understand her disorder, she's trying to understand my Self harm addiction. So. What makes you guys tick? I just want to know your stories. Any information would be welcomed greatly, thanks :)

[screamtobeheard]

Eating disorders vary greatly. In some cases, it can be just like a self harm addiction. Sometimes, the sufferer of the disorder self harms as well. A lot of times, it's about control. A lot of times, it's about not feeling good enough. The most important thing to realize is that it's not a simple thing. It's not just like we wake up one day and stop eating. There is some underlying reason to why anyone does this, and it's as difficult to quit as self harm (I would know).

Hope this helped, despite its vagueness. Do you have any specific questions?

[BrokenButterflies]

That's kind of a broad question. What makes us tick? Everyone is different.
As scream to be heard said, I'd be happy to answer any specific questions you have.

[Noxail]

More or less, I want to know what makes YOU as a person tick. I want to hear your stories. I wasn't speaking to everyone with an eating disorder, I'd just like to hear your personal stories.

[BrokenButterflies]

Um...well, My ED started about, 3(?) years ago. I always had a problem with my weight, both psychologically and physically. I was way overweight, and was at risk for diabetes, heart problems etc.
So my doctor (being the bitch that she was), drags my mom into the office during my physical and says to her, "your daughter is severely overweight, she needs to loose weight fast or she may cause herself lifelong health problems". She never even mentioned this to me before she said it to my mom.
That totally shattered my tiny bit of self confidence in how I looked.
She gave me a meal plan to follow, something like 1,200 cals a day or so. I started off with that, and lost weight a snails pace. I started getting frustrated and decided to lower my cal intake to 1,000-then 900-then 800...my mom finally cut me off there and said I couldn't go any lower (ha-ha :-().

My home life has always been messed up-my parents hate etch other more then they don't, and resent etch other for ruining the other's life. When they fight, they would drag me and my brother into it and use us as weapons. It's horrible! They (especially my dad) gets pissed off every time I don't get 100% on his/thier side and say how horrid the other is. Then on top of that, growing up in this environment (and just being who he is) totally screwed my brothers head, so he got into drinking and drugs etc. That added a lot to my ED I think...pretty much loosing my big brother.

Not eating gives me a sense of control of the utter chaos that is my life. I think it has the same effect of cutting, just it's just easier to hide. Also, I want someone to care enough to notice that there is something wrong with me. For my parents to stop fighting long enough to help me and not get mad at me for not being as perfect as I try to make out I am. It's like taking an anesthetic I guess...

It's really hard to explain the both positive and negative emotions that go into eating disorders, it's your best friend and your worst enemy all at the same time.
Did that help at all answer your question?