I just don't know.

[Dunce]

I get really depressed at night, like I really feel like shit right now. Daytime is usually ok, because I don't think as much. Guys, I'm just so afraid, of everything. I don't know who I am, I wake up everyday with a different outlook on life, like a different person. And most mornings I don't even want to face the day.
Whoever I'm with, I always feel lonely. Other people's pain makes me want to die. I don't want to go to college, or ever live my life, but I'm too afraid not to. I feel so lonely and depressed and afraid.
I want to get help but everytime I go to do it I find myself thinking that I don't know why I'm there, I don't know what to say. I'm afraid of facing how I feel, because thinking about it and talking about it always makes me feel much worse, and like people will see me differently. I just want to move on and forget instead of being treated special and being thought how to think properly. I don't want to change my personality to try and get better.
I really just guess this is a rant. I just don't know what to do anymore, I've felt like shit for so long. As far as I know there is nothing wrong with my life, it's just me. I feel like I'm broken or something.

[Manga]

Ranting is okay, it is good to fume every once in a while. I think you should really try to develop a close friendship with someone. That way you can really talk to someone and start to enjoy yourself. You seem to not have any goals in life either. Why not make some? Goals help you achieve more and give you motivation. You can make it anything too; like becoming a CEO in a company when you are older, or doing something like bungee jumping! They help give you something to look forward to which can help you have a positive outlook on life.


I have a little task you can do too that might help, that I will edit with in a bit.