please help...

[bena3217]

okay i lost my best friend today...she dont want to be my friend anymore...so i got so depressed i went cutting mad! i was 5 weeks clean and i just went mad tonight...i cut my one thigh and there wasnt enough space and i used the whole leg! and cut the other one too! i lost an insane amout of blood(3 tissues full and you couldnt see a dot of white anymore) i really need help...not the friend part...not the blood part but the cutting...its like extremly deep and long cuts and i need help to stop this! everytime im going to talk to her or even see her im going to want to cut myself! i have nobody to talk to! she was the only one...i really need help stopping...if i cut again like i did tonight i dont think i will be able to walk for a few weeks....my parents doesnt know(not that they care) and i dont plan on telling them...i need somebody to help me! there are over a 100 cuts made just tonight...and if it goes on like this...i dont know whats going to happen! all my friends laughed at the fact that i cut...they thought it was for attention but its not!:( plz if anybody could help it would really be appreciated!

[StoppingTime]

Is there any trusted adult in your life that could help you? Of course, talking to people in person about these problems are always the best, but you definitely found the right place here as well.

Here's my bit of advice:

Cutting will never help with anything. Trust me, I know. It may seem like it helps with the pain and makes you feel better, but then this happens. You are sent even farther into a shame spiral.

Now, about your friend, do you feel comfortable saying what happened? That may make it a little easier to help you. That way, we can know the reasons, and suggest better ways to help.

But for now, if there is anyone in your life who you trust, and would even just listen to you, I really think that will help you.

Dont hesitate to contact me or just about any other member here as well. We are always here to help you.

~StoppingTime

[bena3217]

most of my friends left me..all the friends i went to for help doesnt even talk to me anymore...i tried to talk to her but she jus kept changing the subject when i asked what i did wrong...i trust nobody anymore because everybody lied to me all the time! they avoided me all the time...i cant tell an adult because they going to tell my dad! but thanks for the help

[StoppingTime]

If there is even a school counselor that you think you can trust, talk to them. Tell them the situation with what you said here and with you're father. They could help you without him knowing if you ask them and really trust them.

[bena3217]

there isnt counselors at our school...its anyway the holidays now...i dont want my dad to know because he thinks im the perfect son...and the other day i fucked up and h gave me this long speech and he said if i ever get hurt he will feel as a failure! and im not telling him i cut myself everyday...what is he going to think? the only person i could ever talk to and that would help me was her...but things changed...i dont even know what the fuck i did wrong! i cant talk to anybody anymore because the moment i go and talk to somebody...from then they just ignore me...dont even look at me anymore! ive tried everything...but nothing seems to work :(

[StoppingTime]

Unfortunetely, this is just sometimes how people will be. Blameing you for something that you either A. Did not do, or B. Overreacting on what really did happen. Everyone has these times in their lives.

However, you need to be able to look at this from both sides. You never know what she might be facing at home. She might me having problems as well, and doesn't trust you enoguh (which isn't your fault by the way) to tell them to you. So, she will blame you for something you didn't do. This is just human nature though. Blaming someone else to make yourself feel a little better. There really isn't anything wrong in this case. Is it mean? Sure. But sometimes this is how some people have to act to make themselves feel a little better. Usually though, it is a stage, and will stop eventually.

On another note, why do you think your father treats you as "the perfect son"? I don't even understand why anyone would do this. People make mistakes, it will happen. I wish he would be able to understand that.

So, do you think that could be the case with your friend?

You will get through this. You can. Don't ever hesitate to post whatever is on your mind here, we are ALWAYS here for you to help or just to listen.

~Stoppingtime

[bena3217]

she always did talk about her problems with me...i knew exactly what went on there...but she like changed over night...but thanks for your help! really appriciated