Why?

[MikeHunt]

I'm so confused with myself. I've cut myself, just a few times, but the thing is that I have. I have no idea why I do it... I'm not depressed or anything, it sorta feels good, but I can't stand my lies. Every time, a new lie to cover up my knife marks, 'i got cut when I fell off my bike' "There was a nail sticking out of the wall and it cut me.."

I go to a private school where people joke about cutting themselves, but now that I've done it, every time i force myself to laugh at a joke, or agree with a statement, I'm lying to myself and my actions.

Someone please help me untangle this mess... I'm lost within myself, and trying to cut myself loose. Caught in the lies, forcing more cuts and even more lies. I think I'm getting addicted to cutting myself... Please help me!

[Whisper]

its very addictive
the adrenaline
feels good
makes it hard to stop...


all i can suggest is take it one day at a time
the earlier you stop the easier it is
and the less you have to lie

find someone you trust
and confide in them
its always better with someone there for support and help

[MikeHunt]

Thanks for the advice, but it's hard for me to find people I can really trust...
The people i truely trust have no idea about it. I have many sides of my personality, all of them contradicting each other... at school, with one group of friends, a rebel, a daring kid who absorbs pain, who attempts to succeed where no success is possible, where my true personality lies, but only show to some people... With another group, the comedian, a kid making jokes, finding flaws, part of myself that I love, and every body knows about... and at home, with family, just a normal kid, an average joe, living life...
I can hardly trust myself in making the right decisions, let alone trust someone else with my secrets... the secrets I share with others, they share with me... and cutting has never been a part of anyone I know, I am a loner... keeping my thoughts and realizations about myself to myself...

[lostCHICK]

read all the posts im sry but im to lazy (i have laziness problems) and i have left a thoughtful letter, post thingy to one of the ppl there that says how to stop cutting

[annihilate_me]

Well hun, here my verdict. You need to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. If you don't have to right to laugh at the jokes then stand up for yourself. When someone tells you a joke about Self Injury say something like "Hey! Thats not nice! The people who hurt themselves are just trying to find a coping mechanism. It's a serious problem and an addiction!" If they still don't listen to you, then you need to get out of that situation and just not put yourself near those people. Stop lying to yourself and stand up! Remember this! It's better to be hated for what you are, than it is to be liked for what your not.