Note from my friend who committed suicide :(

[Lost_Forever]

My friend committed suicide 3 years ago, well 3 years in july, and his mom just now found a note in this secret department type thing in his desk. I dont know really how to explain the area, but she hasnt really touched anything in his room since...it happened.. because even though its been so long, she doesnt want any change. But anyway, she found a note that was some sort of suicide note, that i guess he was hiding and planning on using, but never did. Whats killing me isnt just that she found a note, that he mentioned my name in it. :( He said i was such a good friend, the only one he knew he could tell anything to and wouldnt judge, and that he loved me. I might have stopped crying today for like 3 minutes tops. I just dont know how to feel. Im so worried this is going to get me back into my depression state again which i really dont want. Ive finally been dealing with this for a while and i've been so strong, leading me to be so proud of myself. Ugh. I just dont know. I miss him and i want him back. I dont know how to feel...i just... i dont know. :cry:

[DouggyO.o]

I fell so bad for you, i really hope u dont go into the depression stage, i send my best wishes and im here if u need me!

[-Silence]

I'm so sorry Sara. :hug:

Hang in there.

[Ravenous]

:( Im so sorry for you, I hope you can stay strong. Theres always someone here for you at VT.

[Lost_Forever]

Thanks guys! :) :?

:( Im starting to get a little better, but its hard. I really dont know what to do.

Oh and why wont smilies work for me? lol...

[*-tick tock-*]

im very sorry about that but please dont get depressed i TRUELY KNOW its hard but hang in there
i can talk whenever u want pm me
best wishes to you and yours

[Oath]

I no how u feel Sara! My friend killed herself 2. Ive lost over 10 people that i love in the past 5 years....including my mom. and i miss all of them so much!! :( If you need someone to talk to here i am. E-mail me ok. It helps me when i write a poem or a story. It get my saddness and anger out. I posted some of my poems in the creative writing forum. Remember im here if you need help. Im very sorry for you.

[Nemobolistik]

R.I.P. friend.

[Lost_Forever]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it.

I'm doing suprisingly well. But i hate when i finally feel good and i'm having a good time because i just feel like i dont deserve to be like that. I cant just forget about him...but i know i have to move on. I cant hold onto him forever. Hes gone and i have to accept that. Its just hard. I cant be sad about it though. I'm not going to be. I'm okay.