I don't even know.

[Bath]

I'm just so done. I don't even know what that means, I say it so much and I never am. I just don't know what to do, I'm so sad all the time. If I'm not sad, I'm anxious. Not anxious, I'm happy only to get knocked down and sad again.

I've done a lot of bad things in the past. I was a bad person. I screwed people over, lied to everybody, slept around, broke people's hearts without caring, cheated, stole. I did everything bad. And now karma's catching up to me, and I'm getting all this shit back.

I saw Chris today, and internet friend I've known for three years. He was my first real internet friend, a real best friend. I used to talk to him on the phone for hours each night. Then, I did something terrible to him and he wouldn't talk to me for a long while. Just recently he did again, and we saw each other and I was soooo happy. But now he's just 'bleh' about me while he won't leave my mind.

I lost all my old friends. They all left. They don't care for me.

I'm not a bad person anymore, I swear. I totally learned the hard way from everything, but it's too late, and I'm so pathetic. I wake up, go to school, sleep. And the next time I'm happy, I can't enjoy it because I know it'll just backfire and go away.

[ImCoolBeans]

Things will work themselves out if you say you've changed for the better. These kinds of things tend to take time, you need to show people that you've changed, and that you're a better person than you once were. Make new friends, talk to new people - show them that you're a great friend. You will find happiness :) Good luck with everything